danielinamerica

mario the nazi

2009-08-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

wow, this blew my mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Zua_2agbc&feature=related

this is unbelievable. i can't believe this is in super mario world. it must have been leaked because it seems so complex to find it. there is no way you could know to jump on the dragon coin at such precise times. watch this youtube clip to see mario the nazi. i can't believe i've never heard of it before.

anyway, i might be blogging from america again, as i visit L.A briefly with my gorgeous wife.

Vintage Comments

2009-05-17T03:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, so whoever is still reading my blog, every so often i am going to be highlighting a comment from yesteryear, times of olds and what not: so for the first vintage comment let me post one by lachy in response to my diatribe on the english faculty at uni of newcastle:

You can't hold onto anything

2009-05-17T03:12:00.001-07:00

so as i reminice and spell incorrectly, i realize that certain notions that we had while younger are completely encapsulated in a moment of time, yet we hold onto them as though we can't exist without such youthful visions o fthe world. It is like holding onto something, which we believe to be true but in the greater existence of the world it is only a fleeting memory. I guess what i'm trying to say is that we have all these dreams and hopes and what not, but they are so fleeting, and that any moment in our lives that we think 'wow this is cool, this is what lifes about,' is also fleeting, it's like everything is fleeting and moving so fast that pretty soon we will be dead.

i always thought my early twenties would go on forever, i used to think that time moved very slowly, but as i age not only do i realize that no values are important because it all ends so quick but so is time itself. It moves so darn quick that it's hard to work out who we are as a person. so if we like something one day, then who is to say it is important the next day, because it's like some sort of endless maturing process keeps changing our own value system.

But then it also seems like some people don't change, like in my work where i see old fogeys who have had the same ideals for the past thirty years, and seem to be happy without any growth and happy to cash each week's pay cheque. So how do they fit into my system of thinking. well i have absolutely no freaking idea, because it seems as though only a few people are enlightened and the rest are mindless drones, happy to take their boat out each saturday, and i;m thinking why the hell are they so happy by simply working all week and taking their boat out each saturday, why aren't they thinking why am i even here!!!!

so even if you catch a beautiful sunrise and have breakfast on your patio and watch the sun rise, it is such a fleeting moment, that you can't get upset when its gone, or think if that was such a beautiful moment in life why the hell doesn't it last, why can't the rest of my life be bathed in such beauty . well i have no idea, perhaps its the old ying and yang, like you can't know happiness without knowing sadness or what not, i don't know. i just know that even a beautiful moment moves by us too quickly...

the relic blogger

2009-04-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

well i write this two hours into being 26, and perhaps i will reminisce like a good ol' blogger, that's how we did it back in the day of naught six. Now three years later it's all about twittering about mowing the lawn and eating a jam sandwich, where have the long rambling blogs of incoherent diatribes gone? Where have the hacked at grammar jobs gone, at least i treid to be grammatically correct and attempt to insert commas, apostrophes and what not in their right place.

Now days you don't even need to use capital letters. Just check out the credits for gossip girl. It's the hippies who are to blame. BY not teaching the generations form the late sixties on about proper grammar and then exposing those same grammar insufficient people to technology they have created a butchering of the english language.

All they did was teach you about feelings, in other words they thought that they could teach us themes of stories and what they were about and different concepts, we all remember doing whole terms on one word like context or somethign or other. Anyway, they thought that by this wish washy analysis we would learn the hard rules of language by osmosis. It failed big time and at the worst possible time, where technology needed good language structure. I remember my mum telling me that at the height of the lunacy they were teaching my sister to do maths by using coloured rods, which set her back years.

At least there is light at the end of the tunnel , in that things seem to be going back to a more rigorous understanding of language. I wish sorely that i had many more classes about syntax.

Anyway morris is alive! I have emailed you morris, i replied to the last email you sent, are you still checking that email. I swear you aren't in england, i swear i saw you in a white van a few weeks ago.

Ok bloggers, if you are still reading you are fans of old, no less than 140 character twittering or whatever.

3 cheers to the birthday boy.

hip hip hooray.

I have the best present of all time in the goreous wife waiting for me in bed.

Seacrest out.

Quote of the day

'In the province he had an affair with a lady who made advances to the young lawyer, and there was also a milliner, and after-supper visits to a certain outlying street of doubtful reputation.... It was all done with clean hands, in clean linen, with French phrases, and above all among people of the best society and consequently with the approval of rank.'
-The Death Of IVan Ilych , Leo Tolstoy

Doritos Ad

2009-03-11T03:37:00.000-07:00

I have made a Doritos Ad and entered in a competition

the link is:

http://www.doritos.com.au/?sq=933

so everyone get on board and cast your vote, voters win prizes too, you can vote 5 times per day.

Rath Luban and my gorgeous wife are the stars.

who knew Rath Luban was a secret super-hero Dorito Dog

Good Quote

2009-03-11T03:34:00.000-07:00

I remembered a great quote about how easy it is to criticise others, but could not put my finger on it, until now reading the costello memoirs, he quotes roosevelt's famous utterance. I wish we had costello now in this financial crisis, not a bunch of cash feeding cows with no idea about running an economy.

Anyway this is the quote:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

what;s the good word

2009-03-04T00:02:00.000-08:00

i'm going to add some content here shortly, a new post or two.

also i will put up a link for a youtube video competition i'm entering so i need lots of votes.

ok

merry christmas

2008-12-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

merry christmas everyone. i have been getting very festive and boiling up some eggnog adding some rum and some nutmeg and hey presto a delicious northern hemisphere drink. i was thinking lately that when i'm older i will be able to read back through the last couple of years worth of blogs and laugh and reminisce. I can't believe how quickly 2 and a half years have gone. At least some of the craziness and wondering of my youthful mid-twenties has been somewhat documented. And it's interesting to also see how quickly ones life direction can change, incredible things can happen that were never expected. That's why its best never to have too many plans, be free and float with the leaves, ah, this is soudning a bit soft, anyway, merry christmas y'all.

Fireblade

2008-09-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

The Honda Fireblade is my new motrbike of choice. I have been waiting for a mtorbike with ECU entering the domestic market. It has been passed down through motoGP technologies, and has now reached the consumer. And it will ultimately end up on everyones bike, but most riders are against the idea, like most idiots who are against new technology. Traction control and anti-spin rear wheel technologies will make riding so much safer!! And also with the fireblad it actually looks better than the new R1, which didn't go with the motogp inspired under exhaust pipe and went for the twin rear, giving it a fat rear end. So a 2009 black fireblade not R1 is my bike of choice now. A year ago it would be the R1 , but with the new ECU and the slicker design than the NEW R1 the fireblade is the bike! The fireblade just this past year was voted australian motorcylce news superbike of the year.

Now i also have to add that Prime Minister Rudd is a dud, and if any of you reading this are labour party you're a goddam idiot,

peace out everyone, Turnbull is the man, i love my wife she is awesome and i'm not going to get into personal details but i'm more happy then i ever have been in my life with her...

peace out everyone

Batman

2008-08-09T04:09:00.000-07:00

I love Christian Bale, he is the best actor of my generation. Absolutely incredile, i cannot come up with any more superlatives that don't disseminate me from any good reporting on the olympics... so the olympics have started, well screw that stuff i have been working my business for very long hours, my alarm goes off at 5.14 am and i knock off at three. So the hours are long but the money is good, and soon i will have my R1, but anyway i find it weird to find my motivation to write seeing as i make money from my business ... but the potential , albeit 1 in a million , of a good story could see me never working again and living lifestyle i want, but ten again working means being away from loved ones. which is gay. So whatvever jroc and lachy and morrison are my friends, whateever ,,, right now i have to give recommendations about testing and tagging to million dollar coal companies, so the after abotu six months the money will be good albeit the hours long and the work tough, but that's what life is about , capitalizing, an you better go out and fucking take what is owing to you if you demand it, otherwise you will drift through being very mediocre...

Bruce Wayne aka Christian Bale is the man.. i love batman begins and the dark knight as the best movies ever!!! oh why did ledger have to die?????? holy shit the dark knight rules, and it just sickens me that i can't see ledger play the joker again, after such a great perfrmance i just can't fathom how to act in the presence of his death, which is such a great loss to the arts... so many people are so uncreative that someone like ledger is orely lossed,,, not only talented but lucky , but fuck Ledger's Joker is damn good he deserves the oscar,

live however you want and don;t let others tellyou not to smoke!!!

proust

2008-07-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

Valentin Louis Georges Eugène Marcel Proust (pronounced [maʁsɛl pʁust]) (July 10, 1871 – November 18, 1922) was a French novelist, essayist and critic, best known as the author of À la recherche du temps perdu (in English, In Search of Lost Time; earlier translated as Remembrance of Things Past), a monumental work of twentieth-century fiction published in seven parts from 1913 to 1927.

Proust, who was homosexual [2], was one of the first European novelists to treat homosexuality openly and at length.
His life and family circle changed considerably between 1900 and 1905. In February 1903, Proust's brother Robert married and left the family home. His father died in September of the same year. Finally, and most crushingly, Proust's beloved mother died in September 1905, leaving him a considerable inheritance. (In today's terms, a principal of about $6 million, with a monthly income of about $15,000.) His health throughout this period continued to deteriorate.
Proust spent the last three years of his life largely confined to his cork-lined bedroom, sleeping during the day and working at night to complete his novel. He died in 1922 and is buried in the Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris.

So i was watching 'Little Miss Sunshine' for about the third time, and Steve Carrell's character is is a preeminent Proust scholar, and having both an english and philosophy major i wonder how i get to the end of my degree without having studied such an important figure. And the fact is that after fist year classes, there are only specialist classes that can skip certain key figures in culture. So you can actually go through your whole degree without learning about one of those literary or historical figures that yo u'should' know about. Kind of like that list that has the 1,000 books you should read before dying. And you'll be lucky to read a couple of them while paying the bills and working to make a living. Even if you read a few horus a day for the rest of your life you'll be lucky to get through abotu 10% of the book you 'should' read.

So i guess my point is that fitting in work , and social activities and such you can't be expected to know every little culture reference in a piece of cinema or so forth... and also i would say , and strongly say that if you are doing a degree such as philosophy english or even science degrees you can learn more if yo ujust sit down and read the text books at your own leisure without worrying about university and exams and all that BS. like when it comes to philosophy if i bought a whole bunch of books like Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, or Satre, and just sat down and read them, i would learn more in five weeks then i would in a whole three year degree. And i strongly believe that becaus ei have a philosophy major and i have never even read one piece by Nietzsche, and i would say that is an atrocity.

i'm pretty taxed with my time lately so i have no time to scratch myself or have the leasure of thought that i used to so talk about.Even now i feel like instead of rambling i should be relaxing so i can chill and be refreshed for my business work on monday. i am testing and tagging a whole coal mine, it's a big job but hopefully will be rewarding, running a business is proving to be very taxing on time and emotions, but now everything is set-up it is getting easier, and hopefully i'll have some time to blog ... so also let me know with a comment if you are still reading,, i'm like a talk-back radio guy who needs calls to have somethign to talk about and feel inspired.

have a nice day everyone,

ciao

what?

2008-06-29T05:34:00.000-07:00

i don't even remember my last blog. It had something to do with the freedom of motorbikes. Now that is cool because motorbikes are awesome and awe-inspiring, it's like viewing your life in its last few moments but also being in complete control. And congratulations Casey Stoner on your second win in a row, donnington park (england) and now assen (netherlands) hopefully yo ucan now transfer this second place in the world championship into a first place. So jroc i haven
t seen yo uonline in awhile, have yo ubeen online????? i transferred your msn addy to my new msn adress did that work? i would love to talk to you.

motorcycles

2008-06-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

motorcycles are awesome because you feel alive when you ride one, more alive than you will ever feel in your life because death is so close, and you can really feel your own mortality, which is so much further than what can be said when you just follow convention and work and watch tv etc.... it's like 'life is art' and you can use that as a philosophy about how to live really live life. Like instead of buying a 10 dollar mcdonalds meal you buy a 12 dollar thai meal, or instead of a 6dollar OK magazine you buy an 8 dollar science journal....

now the OK magazine and what not are cool, but 'life is art' just means that sometimes you work a little but harder to have alittle bit more reward, just a little bit more culture, like having a table and seeing a nice piece of glass and spending the money on it instead of beer or something, anyway you can interpret 'life as art' any way you want, even if it is like Jroc watching the lord of the rings over and over again as eye candy .... i got the whole 'life is art' notion from john travolta on the tv show 'interview with the actors studio' and travolta was talkign with nic cage about how he would rather buy a new yorek instead of a crap magazine and cage said he likes a nice piece of glass... anyway Casey Stoner just won the donnington (british) motogp and is third in the championship and his ducati is going well so hopefully if he can string some more wins together he can take the lead , his form is good so hopefully he can keep it up.... i will have my R1 sooon, that's right a vehicle that can do 295km/h or about 180 miles per hour, in a fewe seconds. so let the test and tag roll on.. lol, anyway who plays nintendo wii ??????? please tell me, because it rocks, jroc ill get you down under soon , i swear to god, it will be the greatest few months of your life,

peace out eveyrone, i'm off to watch 'into the wild' whcih is a movie of which i devoted a whole blog to not long along,... anyway i think said blog went deep enough, if you have any questions please ask and we will delve into the depths of what it is to be human... and beyond.... have a nice 24 hour period, over and out....

Hifalutin

2008-06-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

In one of my previous posts i was railing against the over-interpretation of art in the critical circle. I think what got me started was because in the english honours course that i'm doing, one element of it is a creative piece. And i thought i'd write a psychological sci-fi piece dealing with the very nature of the human mind, and following a very mediocre character etc... And to go along with the creative piece is a research essay almost as long as the creative piece. So i was talking to my assigned advisor about how Tolstoy's 'The death of Ivan Illych' really inspired me to write a story about a mediocre character, and what not, but because i'm doing sci-fi and it's considered a 'genre' piece she was urging me to shy away from doing it. She was saying how they don't encourage genre pieces and what not... I showed her some of my awesome ground-breaking story, lol, and she admitted she doesn't like sci-fi, but then came to an agreeance to get me a co-advisor that has an interest in it. Now i've got no problem with her not liking sci-fi or what not, but if i was writing crime or anything genre they wouldn't want me to do it, even if it's a really hard thought provoking philosophical piece which mine is going to be. And i'm only choosing sci-fi so i can deal with some far out brain altering stuff... I'm having a real experience writing my piece, in the medium of sci-fi i can explore any crazy idea that appeals to me. And i think it's the most philosphical piece i have ever written. But according to my advisor i have to follow exactly Tolstoy and make it a modern sci-fi interpretation of the death of ivan illych instead of just using it as my inspiration to write a really cool piece. So anyway, in the creative workshops, the sort of non-genre literary stuff that they seem to gobble up is most of it crap. I can't stand listening to any more self-indulgent tripe being spewed out and fawned over. Where the hell is the character development? Seriously some of the gay-ass pieces that come from being moulded the way the university wants it are terrible. Tolstoy was the man, yet why mould everyone into little literary heads. Let's also explore how wonderful 'genre' can be. You go to a bookshop and 90 % of the stuff is genre, because it's interesting and stuff people actually want to read. So anyway i'm just going to write the piece i want and say it's a really loose abstact interpretation of ivan illych.
The main point i'm getting at is that i'm dealing with the very nature of the human mind in my story and i hope it is really thought-provoking, yet if i handed in a wacked out piece that just had me walking down the street and describing all the things i'm seeing, and every little gayass feeling i'm having then they would fawn over it and love it, even though i've just written about walking down the street. Nothing cool like altering the mind with machines and what-not.
So i'll fight the machine!! and write my own damned story.
You've been a great audience.

The darjeeling limited

2008-05-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

Darjeeling...
So wes anderson came up with a couple of 'different' camera angles, wow... incredible that you can frame a 'cinema shot' like a painting and it has a nice effect,, and wow isn't it incredible that you never forget that fact, and you make your movies 100% about framing a shot!!!!!!!!!! ok for those of you who don't know know Wes Anderson is a pretty cool director, who did Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums (one of my favs) The life Aquatic, and goody, and now Darjeeling Limited. I really loved Rushmore and Royal Tenenbaums, in fact tenenbaums is in my top five... but even his next piece, 'the life aquatic' which i loved,, even then i was saying i am getting sick of the framed camera angle. And it's like he can't do casting, it's like wow i made one movie with 'certain' people and 'certain' camera angles, and it was a success so why don't i do it over and over and over again... even at the start of darjeeling, the imagery sugests bill murray handing over the torch to adrien brody as one misses the train and the other watches with a sorrowful look.. at first i was thinking fuck. it's another slow paced bill murray sob piece, fuck it, but thankfully murray was only in it for a minute... now don't get me wrong i love rushmore and tenebaums and lost in translation, and to an extent broken flowers with murray , but god damn it even if it's an indie piece there is no good in rehashing the same character over and over and over and over again (murray, schwartzman etc..._ even if its an indie piece you can still be held liable for sapping every commercial and creative drop from one piece of independant thinking!!!!!
so whoever, if anyone, and i know jroc (god bless his sole i hope you feel okay soon enough) forsythe and lachy) so if anyone has a comment i would like to hear about it, because iw ant to know if i'm alone in this criticism, i remeber tellign glynn about how i was dissapointed that wes anderson seemed to care soo much about a shot, after i first saw life aquatic... it seems he has a good shot a few nice pieces of music, and some autor camera angles, and hey presto he has created an empire, and good on him for doing that... and i hate being critical of someone who is out there creating, so yeah... I just wish he would cast some other people so at least the camera angles wouldn't seem so pronounced... i mean jesus there are other fifty.sixty year old actresses out there who don't go by the name of angelcia houston, and maybe jason schwartzman isn't in too many other movies is because he isn't THAT good!!! and has a very limted range!!!!!!!!!!

If you haven't seen any of the movies i'm talking about then you probally won't know what i'm talking about, but that also means you could watch life aquatic or darjeeling without thinking it a copy, ven if it is a copy by a director who is an autorand is copying himself for lack of a better idea. Because we can all come up with an original camera angle and then get some financial backing so we can ire a big name actor and then strap some 'realist' piece of crap story together and call it art and get millions, simply because movies these days are soooo generic that if you come up with somethign simple and different and then rehash it you can make millions... anyway this blog is weird for me because i'm not normally cynical, and i've always hated cynics, but since being married i guess i'm looking at things a bit more realistically and less rose-tinted glasses. Anyway it's been two weeks and i love being married, it';s the best decision i have ever made, and it was the best day of my life... so i think if we get some finacers together and combined with my creative vision we could take Stone to the big time, and make the big bucks... whos with me people.. albeit i have had a few wines... so it; all about the realist pieces that could have some faniciful setting but are just slow pieces about life and such and and wow i've had to much to drink so my mind has wandered, it's actually pretty good considering ive polished two bottles of wine and can still type coherently, philosphically, humbly, and with perfect punctuation....

Hmmm...

2008-05-28T16:11:00.000-07:00

I'm moving in to a different and so am waiting again for telstra to set up a phone line, and then get internet connected once again. It's like being back in 1996, with CD's, 'Friends', 'INdependance Day', and computers that are only good for running those encarta encyclopedia cd's that came free when you bought the thing.
I can't even mention what's on in the news, because i haven't had time to watch much tv since starting the taggin g business. So i think it will be another two weeks, before internet is setup in the apartment and i can once again become a blogging fiend.

later my friends.

What?

2008-05-15T02:55:00.000-07:00

On this the last eve of me being engaged... big day tomorrow, lol. Anyway i was going to post about how the academic world can really screw up some good ol' fun. It takes an entertaining piece of work and makes the student tear it to absolute shreds to find some sort of hidden meaning and commentary. Now it is obvious that movies like Indepdance Day and Armegeddon are purely popcorn pieces of entertainment that have the usual basic structures and character archetypes. These somewhat predictable pieces are needed because they are what makes up life. Life is about boy meets girl, someone sacrificing for another, people going to extremes to help others... So throw all these elements into a big action blockbuster and you have some really good entertainment that seems relevant to everyones lives--we can all relate to at least one piece of the archetyppe character's journey.

Critics do dismiss these blockbuster movies... just look at the academy award winners, every oscar winning movie of late has been about some deep social commentary. While important to highlight these achievements, lets also look at how escapism can benefit society, and how inspiring the blockbuster can be... But that's not really my point, the idea of creating a REALIST piece is what seems to be schema to follow for contemporary art. It is creating a piece of work such as a movie that can cathartically allow the viewer to experience some of the true sufferings of the world, or even just the mundane... like movies that just follow people around coffee shops having conversations. The realist piece seeks to shine a light on a specific moment in time and present it as it is, without any sort of dramtic heightening that woould be considered traditional devices of theatre or cinema.

So to the main idea of the academic world taking these pieces of realism and running with them and squeezing any sort of life out of them. I love both the blockbuster and the slow well thought out movie that really explores the life of a mundane and mediocre character that could well represent any of us. It is when i am forced to over-intellectualize every single point and ever utterance by a character that i feel like puking. Just by definition a realist piece endevours to represent a piece of reality... and we all know in reality we sometimes talk absolute crap without any intended meanign behind our words... so to sit down and over-interpret ever word or thoughts strand of a character seems a completely unessecary task of those with the luxury of phlosophical free-time.

Which also brings me to the other point i wanted to make, and it will seem like a pretty big digression. That of time management. Now this topic isn't boring, and i promise i won't sound like i'm writing straight from an economics textbook Chpater Three sub-section 2, effective time-management and the productiveness of the employee. I've always written and thought about philosphy as the idea of a civilization that can become self aware through its own observation of the very structures that make up civilization and the lives we lead in it. In other words most of us at some stage sit around for a bit and think: what is my role in society? Am i acting morally ? etc... and then deeper, like why am i here? And how drastically would my personality be different if i grew up alone on a deserted island or in a culture that celebrated the murder of those who are weaker? So i always understood and spoke of in earlier blogs the idea of having the time for luxury of thought, and how in primitive society it was imperative to hunt and gather all day just to survive, so there was very little time to develop such quetioning philosphical strands, and we can see that Aristotle the first celebrated philospher only came about after civilization reached such a point that the farmers could cultivate enough crops to allow some people such as Aristotle the luxury of developing thought. Now in the modern world, where food is wasted, people have so much luxury for thought that over-intelectualism has run rampart. For a basic creature that needs only food and water shelter etc. we really do have a section of society namely the Arts department of any university that sits around over-intelectualizing stuff...

And on a personal note, i always had ample time for any development of thought, until i became engaged and started a business and bought a ninetendo Wii... the wii needs at least four hours a day dedicated to it, and with this new Wii Fitness i am going to be in tip-top shape. Anyway i think i've had enough for now.. if i could remember the quote in Forrest Gump where after three years of running he turns around and says. 'I think i've had enough running, i'm going to go home now.'oh yeah i remember, i think it's not only a matter of time but also a maturation process that has me not searching for any grand philosophical theory that will tie everything together. Such as they are searching for in physics. It seems i have come to the realization that we are a base creature that has somehow become self aware, and perhaps it's best to just march forward, and find somethign interesting until we exstinguish.

Because as a youth and hormone charged and all that and you think you can discover some sort of meanign in life, but after four years of reading the books of every man who dared to have this dream, and realizing that they have no answers, then it is ok to jsut take each day as it comes, step forward and be happy with knowing that you know absolutely nothing at all. That this big mixed-up crazy world is perplexing, and all you can do is try and feel happy. Which is true of me all the time thanls to my gorgeous fiance/wife as of friday, lol. JROC i miss you old friend, i hope your ailments alow you to return to your study and make something beautiful of your life, you sure deserve it. And Lachy, keep it real. Forsythe you crazy kid the manning brothers are gay and you know it. And for anyone else, peace.

Hello Blog World

2008-04-30T00:51:00.000-07:00

I am finally gettin ga phone line at my apartment tommorrow , and eight days later i get the net, thanks to telstra's monopoly they care not for customer service, they already stuffed up and delayed me one week, not to mention change the number they were going to give me, which is lucky considering i put an ad in the yellowpages the night before it closed its books fo rmy new tagging business, and i chose to just put my mobile phone number in the ad and not the hardline which telstra had promised the day after,... so if i had of went ahead and placed the ad with yellowpages using my hardline, and telstra cancelled that number becausde of their own incompitence, i would be left with a big yellowpages bill for an ad that is useless and it would wreck my business. So anyway ill be back blogging in about a week, telling all you guys about my awesome coments on the world and current events lol. like for instance it seems Barack Obama is in a little bit of hot water about his pastor jeremiah wright, and wait.. anyway i have to go ...
seacrest out

Into The Wild

2008-04-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Into The Wild.

It’s interesting to pursue the pure moment that you can actually feel alive. Not just an intellectual idea of being mortal, being a creature that is part of the earth, and has grown from & is nourished by the earth; without it we are nothing. Our higher minded pursuits whittle to the function of the lungs, and the cravings of the stomach. It is only with that basis that all of history and culture can have meaning. So growing up in a civilized world that is so far distant to our beastly roots, you can get lost. That is getting lost to what our evolution has made of us, because getting back to nature is harking back to an inner instinct that is inherent in us all, yet also needed in a world where vegetables are found in one building that is a supermarket. Most of us hide the beastly instinct, but for some young men it is just too powerful to ignore, and the lights of civilization just don’t provide the instinctual fulfilment of survival. For some the need to survive is too powerful to drown out television & telephones. I am not one of these people that seek power & refuge from survival in the wild, pitting oneself against the brutality of a nature that cares not if you live. So as we all sit around with our liqueurs and coffees pontificating over the nature of man, the only way to truly feel in the absolute moment—to actually experience a connection with what is real—is with survival.

Chris McCandles or his monikan Alexander Supertramp, is one of those young men who I speak of. He has stepped forward and embraced what I could only imagine doing for no more than two weeks with a safety-net and all. I could not trust my life to my own hands. I could not drift around the country dependant on my own wits as to my survival. I dream of an escape, as do most of us from time to time, but the comfort and security of a sometimes numbing society overwhelms the ancient and instinctual urge to return to the Earth that my body has risen from. So I admire those who make the leap and actually live-out what most young men only fantasize over when things feel overwhelming. For the majority of us our societal censorship seems to kick in and say ‘no that is not a good idea’.

I write about this now because of the movie ‘Into the Wild’. I have read the book and have watched the movie, and I just find the whole idea of seeking that basic humanity—in a way similar to a tribe-like existence—but surely I also realize how harsh and hardening such a way of life is. So I choose not to make the jump into nature, but I am fascinated with those very few men who do...

‘Today I shot and killed a moose... one of the greatest tragedies of my life.’ This scene where he fails to process the meat of his kill is one of the most powerful moments that I have witnessed in cinema. As a heightened form of reality, cinema can induce those moments in life that come around only a few times in one’s lifetime. I remember such an occasion—one of those times where you actually sit still for a moment and take stock of your life—the moment that comes to mind is when I was about sixteen and was waiting at a bus stop outside East Maitland Video Ezy. I have no idea why I was there, because I’ve never caught a bus in Maitland; but anyway there was an old guy who told me some pretty gruesome tales about World War Two. These tales included stuff like hiding in a fox-hole while his friend was being blown away. At the time I sensed that it was Real, but like any heroic or cowardly tale, if it’s not experienced by yourself, no matter how profound & life-changing the experience, it will always seem distant, as though viewed in a cinema. Now these experiences/tales were actually lived by an old guy, yet even to me a second person observer they are a distant memory. So anyway what I remember most from this odd & Forrest Gump film-type moment of my life is how when the old guy had told me some of his crazy fox-hole WW2 tales he said ‘well I’ve pissed on for long enough, I’ll c you later.’
The guy is probably dead now, and even on the brink of death, he trivialized his crazy WW2 life/death encounters to entertain a punk kid like me at a bus stop. Even though he fought to keep my freedom alive, so I don’t have to answer to Hitler or any other crazy cult. But we all take that for granted and perhaps he told me the tales as a way of his own acceptance of a distant past.

Anyway we seem to just have ‘ a few moments of awareness at some sort of true reality, and then the rest of the time it’s as though life takes over the basic needs of reality, as though our menial tasks of staying alive and which don’t inspire take up more unconsciousness time than those few moments of lucidity into our truly saddening lives of ignorance. Perhaps saddening is harsh, because trivial matters are what keep us alive, and anything else is a luxury. So thoughts concurrent with society that keep us feeling safe might be what life is about, and perhaps scratching beyond that veneer might only lead to trouble and deep ponderance about the general human condition. A condition which might be better lived and not thought about. We can also look at philistines who are in essence those who live for the trivialities of NOW, they lack any apparent depth, but seem completely happy to be engaged with the novelty of sports scores, the demagoguery of the news, and the subsequent documentaries that fill the gaps of the former media. For why not surely if you are so keen to establish your intellect on the Discovery channel, why not you first read a true scientific journal and see the perpetuation of advertising-controlled networks, before staking your main source of information against someone who reads books and scientific journals. Television albeit a brilliant media, is one for the masses, and the masses are no better than the television that entertains them. So to take as your main source of intellect the television and use it as a sort of intellectual tool, is the work of a philistine, and those who really appreciate and understand literature will nod in concurrence, while they themselves find tv-shows that are a novelty and entertaining to their minds. For the philistine, having to use those particular shows as a way to define their own personality—as a sort of pigeon-hole to the world: as in saying ‘ I only watch these particular channels’ is a little sad, but to them it is a badge of honour, but to others it is a way that they have limited themselves to everything that the world has to offer.

But in getting back to the idea of nature as the way of life we talk about that one way to experience a moment, and I will look at Chris Mc Candles who experienced a moment of life; of being a creature that is capable of much thought yet also a biological being that needs sustenance. Perhaps a merger of the two, first and foremost requires nutrients, yet also a minimal amount of nutrients gained—it is then that there is the possibility of deep thought about the pure nature of being. So in modern society where sustenance is readily available (at least in the west) then where is the deep thought? Where are the Prime Ministers’ of the world and the Presidents’ of the world asking the BIG questions. Where are the world leaders’ concerned with the former, and where is the movement to explore why we are here? For surely you would expect a world leader who has sufficient sustenance and a large voice, why then, why, do they only care about having everyone fed and growing in riches.... so at least the masses are fed, then why aren’t they up there on the world stage seeking meaning for their masses? It’s—to be presumptuous—because all your culture & what-not you think is real, such as music, movies etc... All of that is nothing but crap when it comes to staying alive and being a base (base as in the dirty subconscious that Freud coined) creative entity. Now as I assume, most of you reading up until now are quite apart from those who have no luxury for free-thought other than gaining sustenance—so where is your desire for what is real? And has society /civilization dampened what is real. Hence are those who are the ones who are rich in life. As Alex Supertramp says ‘Tramping is no fun with all the money you paid me.’

Anyway back to the moose, because I can’t possibly capture a moment that is felt so vividly and needs expressing through words that only scrape the surface of what is felt. So with the moose as a reader of the book and a viewer of the movie, I can get no closer to his/McCandles moment in life as YOU who reads this now can get close to the moment with the old man outside my local video shop. But I can watch it, that is the story that he told me, and this is the interesting part. I remember the old man outside the video-store just as much as if someone had told me the story... so if it didn’t happen to me, I could easily have heard the story and it would feel REAL, just as if I had experienced it myself. So if Chris McCandles was to watch the movie about his own life, he would see it as something outside himself. He would see it as something that is foreign to himself, yet because of his faulty/human memory what he was watching (that actually happened to himself) would seem vaguely familiar. So it seems that no matter how far society evolves, the simple issues of food/water/sanitation/ security issues... with only a handful of citizens such as Alexander Super tramp putting their hand up and saying ‘hey wait a minute, I want to see what is behind the veneer of this so-called society, and maybe there is more than just (cliché as it is) pleasing the Jones’—wearing the right clothes, having the right job and having a sufficient amount of intelligence. So Alex Super tramp is one of those few citizens who actually stands up and says ‘wait a minute, if I go against the flow what can I actually experience in this country (because you would expect that he couldn’t have the same experience in North Korea as the USA.) So Chris McCandles entered the wilderness in the wilderness in the hope of shunning any societal influence and experiencing the sheer base instinct of what it is to be a man. What McCandles found out in nature is one of those true moments of realization—the realization being that merely the task of surviving is brutal, as in the moose he kills, and that realization extends to the idea that the ‘higher culture such as books/literature/art are only existent because of such harsh reality that needs representing through those media in order to make sense to those seek a deeper meaning.

Anyway Chris McCandles says of nature when he is struggling ‘there was clearly felt the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man, it was a place of heathenism and superstitious rights, to be inhabited by men, mirror of kin to the rocks and to the wild animals in me’’
SO such a harsh reality I respect but cannot viscerally grasp what it is to be REAL, to skim the tops of what it is to be truly free, and dependant on a nature that expects you to die.

I'm 25... which is 1/40th the way to 1,000 !!!

2008-04-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

so on turning 25 i can't help but feel remiss if i don't reflect on certain aspects of my
life. In particular it is the passage of time that is intriguing, and the way we all relate
to it. How we are all slaves to such a subjective and objective measure at the same time.
Objective in the way that it is measured by (and i remember this from some obsure science
article) the decay of an electron, yet it is also subjective in the way our brain interprets
the world. Such as being a child, a six week vacation seems like a lifetime, but as an adult
it can take six weeks to take out the garbage or remove that old bbq chicken from your
freezer, and those six weeks go by in a flash. And as is also noted that when you arein a
life or death situation and your brain is full of adrenaline and is absorbing a hero's

amount of information like in a car crash-time will seem to slow down. Anyway on the topic
of time, i find it interestin gthat one of my blogs was about transformers as it was being
made.. how some guy had captured some photos of optimus prime whilst being filmed.. and just
now.. nearly two years later i was just sitting and watching transformers on dvd, (which my
beautiful fiance has just given me for my 25th birthday) and thinking wow this thing was
just being made. So it seems that as i get older and my brain compresses things in a
different way, i can lose two weeks or even two years without hardly any conscious effort in
losing such time, and that is what is a little scary, because it's like there is now no
effort in losing time, unlike when you want somethign special it stands still and it never
happens (like me wanting my R1 more than anything, so time IS standing still on that note-
but for the most part it is racing forward like some crazy horned beast that needs water and
is charging toward the river, the river of course in this analogy is death... anyway so i'm
watching transformers, i'm about to turn 25 and i'm newly engaged to a beautiful woman, so

i'm as content and happy as i have ever been, yet time marches even faster!! But i would
like to get back to Transformers, seeing as i can't control time, but i can't analyse one of
favourite movies...and let's face it, i could write 80,000 words on time and barely scrath
the surface of how much of a mind-fuck it is.. so back to Transformers, i'm slowly getting
over John Torturro's performance as the sector seven agent, but he still seems to me to
really be in it for some stupid crowd-pleasing aspect that i still can't grasp, it's like he
is so comical and archetypal he is retarted. I just think it might not even be the
character, but a pure casting mistake-the guy just seems out of place, but seeing as it's
one of my top 3 movies of all time i will try to forgive one of my top 3 worst performances
of all time (now is that not a contradiction!) I will have to look on the net because i have
mentioned it before, but i have picked up two references to a previous Michael Bay film,
being armageddon... the first where the kid is running after the asteroid/transformer
landing on earth and yelling out 'this is 100 times better than armegeddon' and the other
more hidden reference is when shia lebouf is talking to torturro on the top of the hoover
damn and tells him to forigve his girlfriends criminal records, 'like forever' which refers
to bruce willis saying that none of the guys want to pay taxes 'like forever'.

Now the biggest plot-hole which has escaped my attention until now is the Josh Duhamel character who is i believe either a marine or some sort of special forces... so to show how much of a professional soldier he is, Duhamel is holding toturro by the throat and the John VOight
character says,'i would do what he says, these guys don't really accept losing' .. so as a
professional soldier why would he yell that the best place to take the data cube and protect
it was Mission City!! a city populated by millions of people, which will eneviatbly come
under crazy attack by the decepticons as he states, 'the only way we can do it is with the
airforce..' so he knows the shit is going to go down, yet he delibrately sets that shit
amongst a crazy ass populated city-which clearly goes against any sort of proffesional
millitary strategy- but ofcourse it is far more dramatic to have the transformers battling
it out in the city. And in the other crap thing i can think of is optimus primes colours...
now they do look crap and try-hard, but let's remember that this is simply a mattel toy, and
one with a pretty good backstory that warrented a cartoon and now a movie, so i think if the
guys at mattel in the 80's had of come up with a gay-ass flame colour scheme for optimus
prime they would have done because they thought it looked cool, which must have been Michael
Bay's thinking...

but apart from that i can't knock Michael Bay, who has directed my other
favourite film Armegeddon, to me i put him in the same leauge as Jerry Bruckheimer, who has
gone on to produe my favourite films after Don Simpson died. being The Rock, which was
directed by Bay 'dude you just fuck up your ferrari' 'it's not mine' (in The Rock it seems
Bay found his film camera lenses and filters which have mouled the rest of his films as the
all have the same tint, and grand roman architecture in certain scenes) bruckheimer has also
done Gone in 60 sixty seconds and some others, i have a poster of eleanour, the shelby gt
from 60 sixty seconds and nic cage's unicorn on my wall. I would say pirates of the
carribean is the only crap i have seen from bruckheimer, it made him money but fuck , i
think i just either hate pirates or orlando bloom,.. i guess i'm more of a sci-fi guy which
i why i loved 'the island' by michael bay... But anyway from now on in the mornign when i
wake up i want to say in my deep voice 'I AM DANIEL', just like megatron when he woke up
form his hundred year sleep inside the hoover damn and calmly asserted 'I AM MEGATRON' as we all do when we regain consciousness.

Anyway i could go on with talk about the continuity in the Bay's fight scenes or lack there off, but the point is - any bay or bruckheimer film is a great way to escape the clutches of time, and escape using our popcorn and surround sound with bay sound-effects (tribal drums and choir octaves over john williams typ scores) to imerge into total sensory illusion for two-odd hours, forgetting about the troubles of the world--instead of these agy-ass oscar nominated films which make us Concentrate on the troubles of the world for TWO hours!!!! here's to putting my feet up and being swept away, with bravado and heroism and rigth vs wrong and good verse evil. Here's to Michael Bay, Bruckheimer, and Fincher (who did my all-time fav Fight CLub) and here's to getting engaged and feeling content and fulfilled, and here's to turning 25 and thinking wow what the fuck is going on? but being happy at the same time and stumbling forward. You've been a great audience...

Quotes : Blue Harvest
Imperial Officer 1: Hold your fire. There's no life forms aboard.
Imperial Officer 2: Hold your fire? What, are we paying by the laser now?
Imperial Officer 1: You don't do the budget, Terry. I do.
*
Luke Skywalker:Well, I guess I'll go bullseye some womp rats in my T-16.
Quagmure - c3p0: My God! You shoot small animals for fun? That's the first indicator of a serial killer, you freak!
Luke Skywalker: There's two suns and no women. What the hell am I supposed to do?
*

Banned in China... Free Tibet!

2008-03-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

banned in China, my radical pro-Tibet blog has been banned in China. According to my source in Shanghai (dave) my blog can't be accessed in China.
Dave wrote:
David Lonergan (China) wroteat 6:23pm on March 14th, 2008Hey do you know that danielinamerica is banned in china- maybe you should put that on your bannerhead for more street cred.

i got that message on facebook, which obviously isn't banned. Perhaps the Chineese crawlers found too much anti-comunism, pro-capitalist hoopla in my earlier posts while i was in America espousing the benefits of capitalism. I don't think i've had a good free-marketplace rant for well over a year... but the posts are still up, and the red curtain isn't happy. Anyway China, hope you have a great smog-filled olympics, and maybe you can be lucky enough for a high profile athlete to make a protest about Tibet on the podium.

Hot Rod

2008-03-08T00:41:00.000-08:00

Hot Rod

I can’t believe that this movie was made. Hot Rod is like if I was given ten million dollars and told to make a film, this is the film I would make. It was probably in production while I was making my crazy motorcycle stunt movies …() most of this guy’s stunts aren’t much better than mine, but he definitely has a fraction more plot. The conflict he has with his step-father is literal, as in he actually fights his step-father every night to try and hit him in the face to gain his respect. And he hangs around with a crew of mis-fits, anyway, I loved this movie. And I recommend it to anyone who wants to see my four-minute youtube movies made into an eighty minute master-piece of crappy motorcycle euphoria. The mood of this movie is: ebullient. Not since Tom Green’s ‘Freddy got fingered’ have I so enjoyed wallowing in the crapulence of youth, father-son-conflict, and cheese sandwich factories, and of course crappy motorcycle skills.

-also i would like to note that i am a man of meager dreams, simple to please if you will, and my two big lifetime ambitions are to get an email read out on the oreilly factor, and an email printed in the letters section of the magazine 'australian motorcycle news.' (isn't that what old retired people do? write crusty letters to the local editor) And ive sent three emails to bill oreilly, and he has replied once, and below you will see my first attempt at getting onto the glorified pages of access in australian motorcycle news. If it gets printed i get a free amcn t-shirt, and if it gets letter of the week i get the shirt and an original drawing of casey stoner, which i can frame for the wall. This email is way too long, so unless they chop it down it won't get printed, but like i say in the email , i just have to vent about the smothering beurocracy that strangles this country and originates in canberra. Anyway if i get it printed it will be my second ever printed letter to a letters section of a magazine. I think back in 1995 i got a letter printed in a nintendo magazine, aptly title 'nintendo magazine system' it was to skull the letter guy, and probably waffled on about the awesomeness of mario, i just wish i had of kept a copy.

In other news everyone reading this needs to visit this website and sign the petition to stop front number plates being re-introduced for motorcycles. They will lose all the aesthetic appeal!!
http://www.gopetition.com.au/online/16944.html
please go to this website and sign the petition!!!

Anyway, Here is the email: (i've noticed all the letters to access are basically people griping about stuff, such a road conditions or what not, so i figured a gripe letter would be good)

Dear AMCN
I’m normally a very reserved guy, but the frustration has been building for several months, and I’m at the point where I need to vent to you, or seek anger management therapy. I am 25 and have been on my P plates for six months, and am stuck to a crummy 250cc motorbike until August. Oh for the love of god I can’t wait until that beautiful day when I get a bigger motorcycle. I ride every day and have become quite competent, but I’m a man who weighs 108 kilograms and while good at the lower speeds, anything over 70km/h and it feels like I’m riding a lawn mower. Yet my brother-in-law is 32, is too scared to go out in traffic and he is straight onto his blacks. I think the government should stop wrapping us up in hypocritical cotton wool. It’s the nature of the beast that we all drive around in metal tubes, and some of us are bound to get hurt, yet the government and its knee-jerk reaction will put up a set of traffic lights if someone gets killed at an intersection, as in the highway from Maitland to Newcastle, and slow everybody down just because there was one bad accident in a period of twenty years. And how many times have we seen up the east coast, brand new highway that is beautiful and smooth and all the safety built into that you can imagine, and they whack a 90 or 100 limit on it, only the lord knows why we all seem to accept being treated like drooling fools when everywhere in Europe you can go 130 not to mention Germany. I say we need to be like New Hampshire in the USA, where the state motto is ‘live free or die.’ Life is harsh, bitter and short (Hobbes), and I would like to reserve the right of freedom that this fine democratic country offers me, I do not want to be consistently molly-coddled to the point that I can’t smoke a cigarette, go out in the sun, or ride a motorcycle without being scared to death of those government shock ads. It’s freedom people, let’s all go outside and enjoy life and all its inherent dangers that’s what makes it so invigorating.

Some hilarious Quotes from the movie Hot Rod:

Rod Kimble: Did you reinforce the take-off ramp?
Rico: No, we didn't have time.
Rod Kimble: Cool.

*
Denise: I'm sorry, Rod. What were you going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Um, I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.
Denise: Is that what you were really going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Of course.
Denise: Well, I think the grilled cheese sandwich - in a fair fight. But if it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.
Rod Kimble: Wow, that's pretty racist, but correct. I'll see you later.
*
Cathy: Why do you call yourself Voltron, Dave?
Dave: I don't know Cathy, maybe because it's *super* bad ass?

*
Rico: I'm kinda grumpy today, dude. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was having those dreams again. Ya know, how it's just me in a castle and I gotta fight, like, a thousand wizards and the only way to beat them is to punch them as hard as I can in their faces. Then, when I'm done, all their little wizard wives came out and wanted me to have sex with them - which is kinda weird.
*
Dave: Oh, man, it's totally serendipitous. Well, I got off work early, and you know my buddy Derrick? Well he was like, "I've got this acid, but I can't do it." And I was all like, "Well, I'll do it." So I did it. And by the time I got on my banana board, man, I was... I was tripping balls pretty hard, man. So I decided to get on my bench grinder and a piece of metal flew up and hit me right in the eye. It was pretty awesome. And that brings us to now.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, well, just try and relax.
Dave: Can't do, man. Can't do. I'm gonna be honest with you, Rod. You look like a giant eagle with fire all around you and you've got a mountain for a face.
Rod Kimble: I'm guessing that's the drugs, Dave.
Dave: Yeah, but it's also just kind of weird seeing you drive this minivan.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, well, it's my mom's.
Dave: Balls, man! We just ran over a small bus. This really small bus, we just ran over it.
Rod Kimble: I didn't see anything.
Dave: Hey, we're here. Seriously, man, this is one of the top-ten nicest things anybody has ever done for me.

The Gobbledok monster has been found!

2008-02-14T19:26:00.000-08:00

I have found the chippee monster!! perhaps he eluded me for so long because i was spelling it doCk and not gobbledok with no 'C'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY_wdytNqhI

check out the whole smiths ad there, you'll see him use his telekenetic powers to magically levitate chips out of people's hands, and you'll hear the voiceover guy who really does a good job selling the great potato taste.... wow it's from 1987, i was four years old, no wonder none of my other friends failed to remember the little fella with the crazee mohawk and big gold pirate earring. But i do think that Smiths ran a few more gobbledok commercials in the years to follow. And like i mentioned in my last post that in their latest ad on the skyscraper roof in a crowd of people you can catch a glimpse of him for a moment. All this talk is making me want some chips...

on another note , a sad note, i'm still in therapy about the super-bowl... my psychiatrist thinks that i am really starting starting to make some progress.. although i still can't think about without feeling sick in the stomach... i'm just going to have to turn to Smith's chips as comfort food to get over the pain.

Gobbledock Monster

2008-02-11T02:18:00.000-08:00

Unlike the biosphere, the blogosphere has no bacteria to decompose bad ideas/posts. They sit and linger in cyber space, waiting for a future to appreciate them, like we appreciate a stone inscription made by the natives thousands of years ago, no matter how asinine or primative the inscription, time as a measure will make us appreciate it. So too the millions of bloggers, who labour over their day's thoughts, and plant them in the web of humanity, hoping that one day their seed will sprout into an appreciation far more owing to the passage of time than the wisdom in their words. But... and here we go, the blogosphere has been shaken, turned upside down, and forsythe's six pathetic posts have been emptied onto the dusty ground. All because of the arrival of a 'Bad case of writer's blog' http://www.badcaseofwritersblog-g.blogspot.com/ finally a refreshing blog that is a mix of my shallow commentaries of the world, and Jroc's very deep and heart-wrenching look into his life. We have (according to one post) both an insightful look into human nature (not the white aussie band singing black american songs) and the way pop culture relates to the badcaseofwriter'sblog philosophy. So in other words, it's a little deeper than mine, but more pop than the bare-all style of Jroc's )whose blog is http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=103072967)

and for those who want a little sample of Jroc's blog, but dare not click on the link, ill put his latest post here, as some filler, and also i know he'll love having a fresh audience:

"ugh. so i'm having muscle spasms in my neck. ouch. i keep thinking how amazing it would be to possibly get through one semester without some incredible and inexplicable pain or some sort or another.i am trying to get the bastards of fate a show here in c'ville, which is exciting and nostalgic and a great distraction from my most recent failures as a human being. it's easily been 10 years since i played a show and 12 since i had anything whatsoever to do with setting up a show. it would be neat for that to happen. i shall keep everyone posted.believe it or not, as much as i tried to avoid it in my LBJ wannabe ilk, it seems leadership may be thrust upon me. despite my best efforts to step aside and let other people lead the area council, it looks like there's going to have to be an impeachment of all officers because nobody's taking it seriously. i would much rather be the impeached than the impeacher, my role in life is much more nixon than ford. but, it has to be done and if nobody else is going to do it, it might as well be me. or maybe, like w, this is the sign that god wants me to be president, lol.actually, it kinda sucks. but if things don't change, i will submit a motion to summarily impeach and replace all the officers from the council for failing to live up to the meager responsibilities of their elections.i just did this amazing samaritan kinda thing by telling sam that he left the lights in his car on. if it had been anybody else, i'd've just let that battery burn out. ah, the depths of futile crushes. i feel like my whole self-imposed bastard label is crumbling.i'd still much rather be a bastard than a love-sick puppy dawg, but c'est la guerre."

Gobbledock Monster:

Ok, it has been my recent dissapointment that some of my friends don't remember the gobbledock monster. (dave and liz) it hasn't been since about 1994 since i've been so captivated with a corporate figure as i did with the gobbledock monster. Perhaps it was simply because during my formative years, i yearned for magic that can never be repeated once approaching the ripe old age of 25. Perhaps that is why even those nifty coke summer ads fail to inspire a sense of wonder in life and Product that it should. But right now i'm callign for a return of the monster who stole the chipees.
I can't even find a photo of him on the internet. He is one elusive little fella. We need photos. I did see him on a recent ad, where all the peopel are dancing on the roof of a building enjoying smiths chips, and in amongst all the hundreds of dancers they show the little hairy gobbledock monster for a few moments. So the gobbledock monster has appeared in 2007, but only as a reference that an ad viewer as astute as myself would understand- i mean the rest of my friends from the 90's don't even know who the gobbledock monster is. I say it's time to bring him back. Apparently a third of aussies are obese, so i think we need a little furry monster stealing excess calories, like a ravanoues seagull at the beach.

Quotes:
Lois: Are you Kate Moss? For someone with no breasts, you've done very well for yourself. Good for you.
*
Social worker: "Glen honey, I got a question for you. What do you do for a living?
Quagmire: "I got a question for you. Why are you still here?"

The 50689

2008-01-31T19:18:00.000-08:00

lately i've been reading a cool sci-fi book by Alastair Reynolds called Glatic North, last year i read Pushing Ice. He writes some hard-core heavy sci-fi, but it's very rewarding. I also watched an episode of South Park the other where Cartman freezes himself because he can't wait for the nintendo Wii, and get defrosted in 500years, and hangs out with otters and stuff, i loved it, so i thought i'd try a bit of my own sci-fi, i just wrote this now in the last twenty minutes so i hope there's not too many errors. I love sci-fi because of the giant themes of life you can tackle. And span great casms of time. ANyway here is my first bit of sci-fi, enjoy:

The 50689

The number 50689 was emblazoned on the side of the carriage. Peter Rucker stepped up and onto the shiny floor that snaked like a metal worm throughout the compartment and bio-pods. His senses discerning the weight of his colleagues as they pushed in behind him, the sound of the bell outside, and the jolt as the carriage gained inertia.
‘I’ll see you in six months,’ the red-headed woman behind him said, as she moved into the nearest bio-pod and pulled tight the harness.
Peter merely waved off her remark and headed to a free pod not far away.
Charlene ran her hand through her thick fiery mane in an effort to act affronted and pulled the door shut. Peter was glad to see her disappear behind the metal, with a window too small to see her face. As the latch locked an electrocardiogram appeared across the window, her heart rate was raised. Peter smirked and found an empty bio-pod. For a moment he reflected over the past twenty-four months, Charlene had been the most annoying of his affairs, and frankly he was looking forward to his next stationing on the third sector of Mars; a whole new beginning, new mines and new women. After the six months in suspended animation he had a further twelve months to enjoy with his wife before returning to Mars.
‘Leaving soon. Come on, sir,’ a man in uniform said, appearing from seemingly nowhere.
‘I’m kind of hungry,’ Peter said.
‘Is your rath-cable broken?’
Peter heaved a sigh. His rath-cable was fine. It had been giving him enough nutrients to survive for twenty-four months, and it had enough reserves to easily complete the six month trip. ‘You got a steak?’
‘Not on Mars, sir. You’ll be home in a blink.’
Peter frowned and pulled the door shut, and strapped on the harness.
The 50689 spent the next three hours gaining speed, as it sped along the electromagnetic rail that veined Mars. As its speed reached the required velocity, it took another twenty-nine minutes to reach the hub. A ghostly strip of electricity stretched from the hub to earth, it could only be seen because of the lazer; warning spaceships to steer clear. The pilot of the 50689 cleared the take-off—the carriage hit the hub and was instantly shot along the lazer line straight to earth. Five seconds later followed the 50690.

spare some fuel?

2008-01-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

On my way to getting my motorbike serviced today, i pulled on the side of the road to look at a rattle, and as i was putting my helmet back on, a seedy looking guy came scurrying across the road to my side, brandishing a two dollar coin. I thought, oh man whats going on. He came up and goes 'can i have two bucks worth of your fuel' i couldnt believe it. I only have a 9litre tank on my bike and i was close to empty, i hesitated and he goes 'it's ok i've got my own hose and container.' Who keeps their own hose and container!!! anyway i crossed the road and this guy was dirt poor, he had some kids in the back who he said he needed to get to town, and the car wasn't much chop. ANyway, he pulls out his hose and sticks it in my fuel tank and sucks on it till the fuel came out and into an old oil container, i looked into my tank and could see there wasnt much left, and he kept saying 'hold it down a bit lower, i need a better flow,' after a bit i told him i didnt have much fuel left, and he looked into his container and seemed satisfied, so after i told him it was ok, he still insisted on giving me the two bucks. I guess this kind of thing could only happen on the way to cessnock. But i got the whole good samaritan warm fuzzy feeling of helping someone out on the side of the road... i knew those bible classes at grammar school would finally pay off.... The whole thing reminded me of when Principal SKinner told Otto to fuel up the school bus and handed him a hose and said 'here's the credit card,' and he also gave him a mint. And after Otto got the syphon going he says 'damn i shouldn't have eaten the mint first.'

I thought i'd add here, some wise words of the almighty Jroc, King Daniel reins through his providence. lol. He quoted me in his latest blog so i thought i'd give him the same honour, with a 'U' - on waxing lyrical about his friends, Jroc says of me:
'daniel is one of those people you just meet from time to time and it seems like you've just always known them. we're amazingly different people, but we just have one of those organic friendships that seems to grow because of, i spite of, our differences. daniel's that awesome, smart kid you drink with and talk about the world and what it means. he has an infectious laugh that just speaks to the infinite awesomeness that is king daniel the wicked. of course, given my luck, he lives on the other side of the planet, in some marsupial infested hunk of rock where they barely speak intellegible english... here's to you danny boy.'
--
well, here's to you Jroc. I'm off to battle kangaroos, wombats, kookaburras, platypi, and the occasional swooping magpie.

Life on Mars

2008-01-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is coming to fruition. I got a letter of acceptance to english honours yesterday, which means my plan to go back to the USA is almost complete. If i get through honours, i'll be able to go to a university in the states for a two year masters. Im thinking one of the southern states again, like University of South Carolina; which was my second choice if i hadn't of gotten into Virginia, and only after being accepted to Virginia did i find out that Virginia was a hard-core accademic school and south carolina was a party school. Although it is tempting to go to a university in massachusetts-boston so i can catch some new england patriot games. Or George Mason near washington DC where Jroc is going for a masters.

This photo was taken by the nasa rover in november. When part of it is magnified it looks like some dude sitting on a rock. Some nerds looking over nasa's photos found the anomoly. He looks totally chilled, sitting on a rock having a smoke , not a care in the world to what the poisonous gases are doing to his lungs, not to mention the fact that mars has no layer to protect it from the sun, this guy is going to get some serious melanoma's and skin cancers. He'll end up like that person on that government ad about skin cancer - i can't believe they play that stuff when kids are watching, the australian government seems to have no qualms about shocking the absolute shit out of it citizens to wear sun block- we haven't had one of those speed ads for a few months, where you see people die, i guess the sun is this months enemy not speed. i remember speakign to some swedish backpackers once, and they were saying that when the speeding crash ad came on, everyone went quiet and then left the room-they said they couldn't believe the australian government could show us that stuff...... back to the photo, its actually only a few feet from the lander, so perhaps there aren't really little smoking men perched on rocks on mars.....
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It's sad about Heath Ledger... i can't believe pneumonia and possibly a combo of sleepign pills got him, my neighbour died last friday of pnemonia but he was 84, it just seems like its easy to go, we potter around for a little bit paying bills and then die. On monday a bmw nearly got me on my motorbike. It was crazy, the chick pulled up next to me at the traffic lights, and looked at me so she knew i was there, then the light went green and she burnt off, but so did i, and i guess she thought she burnt off fast enough because after about two hundred metres she just pulled into my lane on top of me, i could see it coming so i didn't even feel an adrenaline rush , i just decelrated and beeped my horn. But if i had of been daydreaming, she would have got me, that's why i constantly ride with the mentality that people are actually trying to kill you, and then im ready and can get out of every situation pretty easy. And that chick in the BMW, oh man she must have thought she was going as fast as michael schumacher to outburn me on my bike, and then just blindly pull into the lane, lol. There will be no chance that anyone will be able to beat me when i get my R6.

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i just thought id put up this pic, its kind of funny and inspiring

Quotes:

Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
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Stewie: Machiavelli! You've told me nothing I don’t already know! Ah Sun Zhu's The Art of War. Lois: Stewie, those books aren’t for babies. Here. Watch the Teletubbies.
Stewie: How dare you! That book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind.

Miss American dream since i was seventeen...

2008-01-21T03:56:00.000-08:00

oh man ive been drinking some of the wild turkey my aunt gave me for christmas, excellent gift, second only to a bottle of Jim Beam, but actually a pleasant change from Jim Beam-she obviously didn't read a couple of my blog posts before this where i openly admitted that i can't handle a full bottle of whiskey... nah, im doign ok, ive only had a few shots from it, and before that -a six pack of jim beam zero, and now after this one im having now, im turning in , im going to say enough- see i know when to stop now. but anyway while ive been slightly tipsy i started off listening to 'don't stop believing' by Journey, but in the last hour or so, i downloaded Britney Spears' new song, piece of me, and have been giving that a good run.... there is somethign about it, i can't stop listening...

anyway this morning i set my mobile phone to interupt me at 6.55am, and at about 7.15am i finally got up so i could watch the new england patriots destroy the san diego chargers and head straight for the super bowl feb 4th!!!!! all the way baby. I feel sorry for people who actually have to get up before abou t9-10 oclock, Jroc i know you never rose before about 2pm, i think we can put it down to a mark of genius, the more incredible you are, the longer your giant brain needs to stay in bed, lol, to recover and process giant ammounts of information. I can't believe it though, i only put twenty bucks on the patriots winning the super bowl at the start of the season... so if they win in two weeks i get 120 bucks. last year i put about four hundred on them , and they lost, so if i had of followed my gut this year i could of cleared a few grand... damn it...

in other news, i've settled on getting an R6 not an R1. The 600cc is supposed to corner smoother, and i dont really need to go 300km/h, now don't get me wrong the R6 will still beat any v8 or big car in a drag from the traffic lights, and i'll be able to corner with the confidence that if i accidentally hit the throttle a tiny bit i won't be thrown into the wall.

there was something else i wanted to talk about... umm... i forget .. i'll do a new post if i remember, and for those of you wondering about the title of this post, they are lyrics from this insanely addictive britney song.

Quotes
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Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!

Moses, Let My People Go

2008-01-17T15:02:00.000-08:00

oh man this is hilarious. I've never really watched american idol before, but the other night i tuned in, and got to see what was apparently the combined worst and funniest audition ever. This poor chap seems quite serious, yet he is terrible. I think he sounds like a deaf person, and does anyone else wonder where his front teeth are?
And his song choice!! freaking hilarious. i love it at the end when he is just droning on.. 'let my people go - let my people go - moses, let my people go'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdwGKV01uw0
this is the link for it on youtube- i can't stop laughing. The judges can't stop either. The whole thing is a farce.

Speaking of farce, what about farce on the high seas. Steve Irwin is back in action, only this time his namesake is on an anti-whaling vessel. The two guys who boarded the japanese whaling have some pretty serious khutzpah. I just like how the newscasters say - 'and they jumped from the Steve Irwin onto the whaling ship, no news on when they'll be sent back to the steve irwin. The steve irwin has been trailing the whaling ship...'

-i know that ostensibly the Japanese are killing these whales for research, and i know that everyone in the west knows it's a farce, and the meat gets sold... but how do they seriously get away with killing a thousand whales a year for 'research' How many whales do you have to cut open before you realize they all have a liver, a heart and some other organs, and why doesn't the halfwit scientician doing the research come to the conclusion that perhaps the best way to keep the species alive, is to let the thing go about its life un-harpooned. Here's a tip, I think perhaps a migratory study might reveal more, perhaps put some tracking devices on them and follow them around and work out their mating habbits and all that crap - that seems to be how most of the scientists conduct research on all the animal documentaries i have watched. And after all that if you are still unsatisfied, and really want to get to know what's inside of them, maybe harpoon one, two tops, but a freaking thousand!! seriously once you've seen one discected whale penis, you have seen them all.

argh give me the treasure

2008-01-10T03:15:00.000-08:00

if you've ever dreamed of winning a million dollars, or one of these outrageous 30-100 million dollar lotteries chances are you were thinking about the island you're going to live on, or the mansion near the beach with the ferarri parked out front. Personally, i dream about the Ducati i would buy, and then even buying a private Ducati team in motogp. And i could go for rides with Casey Stoner around Kurri Kurri when he isn't racing, and then with our model wives cooking dinner we can swap stories of what it likes being part of motgp. Well thats my personal dream, and laugh at it if you want, its no more silly than dreaming of owning the dallas cowboys. So who has ever thought of winning big and then creating elaborate illusions. Big caverns filled with weird indiana jones traps that would more than likely wittle away most of the fortune. So you would end up with a bill taking 3/4 of your fortune. Not to mention the effort of killing all the workers, the many hundreds it would take to build such elaborate traps, and then the letters to their family. The whole thing is a logistical nightmare. Then you have the enigma, you have to leave crazy clues in really official places, like parliament or monuments.

And here's the good part!! you get to not have the treasure!!! you get to go back to your regular life, knowing that in two hundred years some dude may or may not follow the clues and find your treasure. and even if he is looking he may inadvertantly destroy a clue, and boom, your treasure is lost ot the ages. I would rather have my Ducati thank you. as a side note, i just watched national treasure 2. It was great.

Go Patriots.

2008-01-08T23:04:00.001-08:00

This website in the US is awesome, we need one like this in Australia! It's simple there is a list of issues that you rate, and then you say who you are going to vote for, and then they say who is your closest policy match. Finally we can lift the mask of blind political rhetoric, and see who we really meld with. I've put up my results in this picture. I said i was going to vote mccain, and i had a feeling romney would be my match. It is a pretty close marriage, 93% my old man had a match with romney also at 75%. I ticked the boxes for gun control as a side note.

Well the silly season is finally over and i can get back to my new passion (a week long passion) of long distance running. My body still remembers the days of being school cross country champion and going to regionals and one state, but that was a long time ago. To help me, i have a bright orange camel drinking pack. My old man got it from the mines, hence the bright orange and the crazy reflective strips-no motorist would dream of hitting me. I will slowly mould my body back into a slender machine, capable of great distances, and shape my mind so that i live and breathe intestinal fortitude. (ive just come back from my second run)

My new life-long dream ergo is to win the local marathon, whichever one that may be. And prove all the nay-sayers wrong, and hopefully end up selling the rights of my epic story to someone who produce it straight for daytime television, and cast washed up 80's star and bret packer emilio estevez. I will protest the casting, but due to a shady contract i will have no say whatsoever, and the movie will tell the story of a mentally disabled boy who dreamed of running but had only one leg, and three sisters who force him to be their slaves.

In other shock news, Vinnie and Cody have left the OOC crew/show. They have started their own rival custom shop called V-force. Apparently Vinnie just wasnt getting enough of the royalties and doing all the work!!

Quotes:

The ROCK:

connery: looser whine about doing their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

stanley godspeed: carla was the prom queen.

Family Guy:

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.

Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?

Peter: Oh yeah.

Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour.

Brady has weird outer-worldly powers.

2007-12-30T00:43:00.000-08:00

The New England Patriots have just created history in achieving a perfect 16-0 season record. Midway through the third quarter i thought it was all over with the pats down two scores. But Brady summoned his super human ability and hit moss with a 60 yard gain touchdown, while they were on third and long straight after moss dropping the exact same catch the play before on 2nd and long. This is what Brady siad of the pass “I just tried to redeem myself,” Brady said, “and threw it as far as I could.”

By throwing two touchdown passes to Moss, Brady took over the single-season TD mark at 50 from Peyton Manning and helped his sidekick wrestle the single-season TD reception record away from Jerry Rice with 23. The record-setting connection came on a 65-yard strike up the right sideline, just one play after Brady underthrew a wide-open Moss at close to the same spot.

As for who gets to keep the record-setting ball, Brady added, “Good question. The highest bidder, I guess. But he’s got his hands on it now.”
“I told him,” said Moss, with a devilish smile, “I’ll give my kids half and you give your son half.”

--In other news i was fascinated with that tiger escaping in san fransisco. It killed one guy and mauled two. I don't know why i'm mentioning it, i just thought it was pretty gnarly, having a big tiger on loose.

-nothing much else to write about, because my brain is pretty hazy from a polishing off a quart of jim beam last night. This is why i only buy my drinks six at a time!! i can't handle the responsibility of an entire bottle. And as a good alcoholic i blame it entirely on my christmas presents of two bottles, not my own inability to stop. But ive got about 3/4 left of a bottle of 12 year scotch that i got form my grandpam which should come in handy for new years eve tomorrow night.

Happy new years everyone, and Jroc kicking it in the 'noke, i missed having 24 beers with sam on christmas eve, ill have to try and make it over there in the not to distant future for a drinking rematch. But i think i did us aussies proud, and proved that we should have a reputation not to dissimilar to Irish as heavy drinkers.

Quotes:

Peter: Well guys, my vasectomy is tomorrow.

Cleveland: You poor bastard. After all, sex is pointless without potantcy.

Quagmire: That's right, you take the venom out of a cobra and what do you got? You got a...a belt.

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Lois: You're drunk again.

Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.

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Brian: You're drunk.

Stewie: You're sexy.

Lois: Peter, what did you promise me?

Peter: That I wouldn't drink at the stag party.

Lois: And what did you do?

Peter: Drank at the stag pa-- ... Whoa. I almost walked into that one.

Ha Ha Ha

2007-12-22T23:11:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas blog readers, and as this is a very politically correct blog, i have omitted the ghastly and very un-feminine (ho...ho..uh--eh--ho..) just so as not to upset the many women who feel completely assaulted while they innocently go about their shopping, and a big fat man in a red suit calls them a slut. Instead now they will be felt to be mocked at as santa laughs at them, Ha Ha Ha, could easily be misinterpretted to be a jest at the woman's weight or any other number of unflaterring things... so i propose santa simply gives a kind thumbs up with a wink, surely that can't be misinterpretted into something naughty.
Normally you coudl say 'only in america' but it is australia that has forced it's tired indentured servants known as mall santa's into saying Ha Ha Ha.

Anyway, i hope you all get maggot over new years.

where was i?

2007-12-07T04:52:00.000-08:00

I''m in shock at the moment after finding out Jodie Foster is a lesbian. She has always been high on my list of celebrity crushes, now being beaten only by Zooey Deschanel, who i will put up a few pics of for everyone to bask in her doe eyed goodness. I think every film Zooey is in is totally awesome to the extreme, maxed by ten, gnarly man. I have revently viewed 'Bridge to Terrabithia' and loved it, and 'Winter Passing' with Will Ferrel playing a christian louse living on the couch of a famous writer-it was classic, and one of thebest films i have seen all year. Going back a few years was 'Elf' another one will Zooey and Will, and 'all the real girls.' Even 'failure to launch' which converted me to a mathew mcaugnehey tolerator, not a fan, but a tolerator.

Anyway, i digress, back to my foster bit ---''In the biggest non-shocker since the enormous Christina Aguilera confirmed her pregnancy - Hollywood legend Jodie Foster has come out of the closet! The star has been criticized for not opening up about her long-term lesbian relationship, despite being photographed countless times with partner and co-mother of their children Cydney Bernard. Jodie instead preferred to keep her private life just that - private. But at the 'Power 100' event in the US on Tuesday, Jodie was presented with a leadership award by the Hollywood Reporter and chose to publicly thank Cydney for her support. As part of her acceptance speech, Jodie thanked “my beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss.”

a non-shocker? i was shocked enough into writing a blog post, which takes abit of effort these days.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL - bask in the doeyness of her eyes. If beauty was a sandwich, she would be both my favourite snack, and a nutritional meal.

I would also like say a big welcome to opposition leader Brendan Nelson, who is an avid motorcycle enthusiast. He submits stories to some of the motorcycle magazines i read, anyway i look forward to lots of motorcycle legislation being passed in the parliament. And if he wins the next election, we will have a motorcylcing prime minister!! he wears his riding as a badge of honour; it was funny when asked about how he will be different from outgoing prime minister John Howard, his first answer was, 'i ride a motorcycle.'
-im goign to demand motorcycle lanes everywhere, and parking on any footpath, and everyone should get behind it, because for everyone riding a motorcycle, it is the same as taking four cars off the road!!!- it's environmental, people!! sure we will have to build more hospitals to cope with all the gratuitous injuries, but still... the environment, people, the environment...

Quotes from, 300: this movie has possibly more one liners than ten arnold schwarzenegger film's combined.
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Dilios: Immortals... we put their name to the test.
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Queen Gorgo: Freedom is not free, that it comes with the highest of sacrifices. The price of blood.
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King Leonidas: My heart is broken for your loss.
Captain: Heart? I have filled my heart with hate.
King Leonidas: Good.
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King Leonidas:'Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!'
:'Unless I miss my guess, we're in for one wild night.'
:'Give them nothing! But take from them everything! '

sweet wine.

2007-12-05T21:54:00.000-08:00

The Vineyards.Wow, if you ever want to see a show, i suggest going to the vineyards. For the one simple reason. You can buy as many bottles of 20dolalr wine as you want!!! You know these days how they have cracked down on any sort of drunken merriment at sports events or rock concerts, like where you wait in line at a rock concert for an hour and then can only buy a maximum of two drinks. or at sports events where you can only get medium alcohol drinks. Well not at the vineyard, i had two bottles of wine, so i had a brilliant time watching Elton John, -and with all the alcohol there was no violence, and i suspect it might be more to do with the crowd, which was full of young people, so i don't know...and it was also under the stars, so lucky it didn't rain.

And i got to sit 50yards from elton, and just in front of b-list aussie tv star steve bisley. And while i was out searching the for the restroom, i came across cricketing legend mark waugh, who looked behind wearily as i followed him out the gates in my search for the restroom. Elton John is a human jukebox, the guy is a machine. He just sauntered out whilst noone was looing and started playing, and playing and playing.... and didn't stop for two hours! the guy is a freak.. he must just love playing because he didn't even talk. you know how sometimes singers woffle on for abit halfway through the show or they wax political or something. Elton just played, and spoke about ten words.

Quotes:

'you let the autobots beat you...'
'I didn't let anybody beat me!'

easy rider

2007-11-29T21:36:00.000-08:00

i'm setting out onto the open road easy rider style, who knows where the road will take me, who knows man, i've seen places, i've seen things man, things you'll never want to see... i'll try and make it to queensland, but this country and its huge states.... it will be quite the effort on a motorcycle. On an equivilant trip in Europe i would cross three countries, and still make it to Paris by nightfall for some snails, expensive wine and a waiter with a snooty atitude. For my send out, my parents are taking me to an elton john concert in the vineyards, not really the rock'n'roll send out one expects for such a rebelious trip, but i think 'tiny dancer' could be a good trip theme song, if only i had a radio .... For some extra cash, on the way i think i might do some fruit-picking ... or i'll probably just end up two hours north at forster, camping in the same place i always camp, and then coming home in a couple of days. Either way i'm prepared for adventure, an adventure of epic proportions, with a grandness that has never been matched. The road is my new master, and the sky is my television, and the gas-station is my fridge, and my motor-cycle my couch... and that's about as far as i will take this metaphor. You've been a great audience - peace out.

Quotes:
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.

Transformers

2007-11-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

-while reading this blog i suggest play 'don't stop believing' by JOURNEY. It's the song that peter griffin sings when he is drunk, and mayor adam west stops outside saying '
Oh God, I love this song! And I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics!... but I HATE baseball cards!!!' and it's the finale song for the sopranos, and the clintons did a parody of it on a campaign ad. Oh god i would love a woman to run the USA but a republican like rice, someone who is tough, anyway you need to listen to song to while this blog.

i have to put it on record. I love Michael Bay movies. The Rock, (doing my best sean connery impression) 'do you understand the etymology behind the name godspeed.' and 'forget maui, you won't to go to kansas.' and then there is armageddon, where apart from the 'Jurrasic Bark' the dog episode in futurama where the dog dies waiting for Fry singing 'im walking on sunshine' other than that the only men are allowed to cry is when bruce willis sacrifices his life to ben affleck. It gets me every time. I also loved the movie 'the island' with ewan mcgreggor and the oh, so hot scarlett johansen at the end in her futuristic jumpsuit. But the Michale Bay put all the transformers nerds fears to rest with Transformers. And i am a child of transformers, i grew up with that shit, so my opinion counts more than most. I remember my friend having the optimus prime toy and i was ever so envious. But anyway apart from optimus prime's flames i fell in love with the movie, i rented it the other day and it is like some sort of brain candy. Michael Bay says on the dvd commentary that he received death threats from hardcore transformers fans, but damn,,, i actually had a really good good point but i had to go and get a jim beam drink so i forget , anyway, the chick in it is so hot, oh yeah i remeber now, on the commentary bay said that the us military gives him unpresdended acces because he presents them as doing there job in a professional manner, like pearl harbour, another great movie, anyway they alowed him acces to the most advanced planes and shit that have never been shot on film before, and the audience probably doesnt even notice. And shia le bouf gives such a great enthusiastic performance... it is has now almost topped gone in sixty seconds as my all time favourite movie. The one thing i hate though is john torturos cartoon performance but that is still ok i guess

Oh, to be a country that is loved.

2007-11-17T23:34:00.000-08:00

check out these lyrics by randy newman (the guy that family guy parodied when a a-bomb killed everyone except for the griffins) -Australia can't do anything wrong and the world loves us!! The French saved the yanks from the poms in their revolutionary war, yet the yanks hate the frogs and vice versa, and everyone hates the frogs, and the japs for killing whales and dolphins and bombing pearl harbour, and the russians for being commy, and the chineese for over populating this earth, and the indians for the same and also stoopid bollywood, and again the poor old yanks who saved europe,

but little old australia we can't do anything wrong. Even NOFX say they want to be like us in their song 'Franco UN-american' where they we want to be like the nice australians.. so even though we are participating the iraq war, the very war that the world seems to hate, and so does NOFX- well apparently they either didn't do their research and realize that we are apart of the very war that they are protesting in that song, or it might be that they know we are fighting there, but we are just so damn cool they don't care!!! i would probably say the former. these anti-war people hate bush and the war so much they spew propoganda without any research. Let the anti-war fuckers look at Iraq now, progress is happening thanks to the genious of petraeus and bush and the surge. I was always against rumsfelds policy of having few troops on the ground. and as soon as the numbers were bolstered progress was made. Anyway check out the randy newman song.

POLITICAL SCIENCE Randy Newman

No one likes us-
I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens We give them money-
But are they grateful?
No they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us
We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin too
Boom goes London and boom Paree More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They'll hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now Let's drop the big one now

Quotes: Family Guy

(Randy Newman)-Fat man with... and his kids and dog.Drove in through the morning fog.Hey there Rover, come on over...
(Lois)-Well its nice to have a little music while we eat.
(Randy)-Red headed lady, Reaching for an apple.Gonna take a bite, nope, nope.She gonna breathe on it first,wipe it on her blouse.She takes a bite.Chews it once,twice,three times, four times, stops!The wife is thinkin', takes a hard long look at Randy...five times.Fat old husband walking over.
(Lois)-Lets get the hell out of here.
(Randy)-Yeah, They're walking down the road Left foot,Right footLeft foot,Right footLeft foot
***
Stewie: Uh you've reached stewie and brian, we're not here right now, uh and if this is mom, uh send money because we're college students and we need money for books...and highlighters...and.... ramen noodles...and condoms, for sexual relations with our classmates.
****
Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
****
Doctor: Mayor West, you have Lymphoma.
Mayor: Oh My...
Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that Toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Mayor: I was trying to gain super powers.
Doctor: Well that's just silly.
Mayor: Silly yes ... Idiotic ... yes.!

Wedginald

2007-11-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

Be sure to check out dear old Wedginald at http://www.cheddarvision.tv/ The giant cheese teddy bear has been the hardest working internet star for the past year. Appearing live and uncensored around the clock 24/7. But now he has matured and it six days someone is going to eat him. I think he is currently going for around 600 pounds on eBay. I'm going to miss watching the little fella for hours on end-what will i watch now at 3am if i can't watch a chunk of cheese mature?

Cryonics and the Freezer Man

2007-11-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ, superstar, went to town on a yamaha.
Did a skid, killed a kid and burnt his balls on the petrol lid.
When i die bury me, underneath a cherry tree.
When they're ripe, take a bite.
And don't blame me if they don't taste ripe.

I think that's how it goes, if i remember rightly. Anyway, the point of this schoolyard jingle is to introduce the topic of what will i do with my body when i die?

-I'd always thought i didn't care what happened to my corpse. I wouldn't mind if noone claimed me, and my cold lifeless body had to be disposed of by the government, you know like those med shows, where the doctor is sad because he starts caring for his patient and then the guy dies and noone comes to claim the body, so it goes out the back and is processed and then we eat it for cereal, mm soylent green, wait i just merged ER with an old movie.

-it all comes back to Alcor, the life extension organization founded in 1972. I was drunk, and for some reason watching the discovery channel the other night when i watched a show about freezing dead people to bring them back to life at a later stage. And apart from Walt Disney, i had no idea anyone actually did this, but aparently it's all the rage.
http://www.alcor.org/ that is the website, i think only two companies offer the service, (only in america)
anyway they explain it like this:

Q: What is cryonics?
A: Cryonics is the practice of using very cold temperatures to stop the dying process when ordinary medicine can no longer sustain life. This is done with the intention of saving a patient's life until a cure for their illness can be found, and means developed to reverse the cryonics process. The technology to reverse cryonics is still theoretical.

Q: Has anyone ever been revived?
A: No adult human has ever been revived from temperatures far below freezing. Cryonics patients are cared for in the expectation that future technology, especially molecular nanotechnology, will be available to reverse damage associated with the cryonics process. This technology may become a reality a century or more in the future.

Q: How much does cryonics cost?
A: Most people pay for cryonics with life insurance, and since the actual cost of that depends on your age and health, to find out your specific cost you would need to shop for life insurance. Alcor offers two options: for whole body preservation you would need a minimum policy of $150,000, and for neuropreservation you would need a minimum policy of $80,000.

-this part is hilarious, it's lifted straight from Futurama. Where if you're a cheapskate you can pay less and have your head frozen!!!!!!!! that's right they cut off your head and freeze it!!! What a better way to spend my life insurance--screw my family and kids, they can live off bread vouchers, i'm using my dead money to get a full body freeze. And as soon as scientists discover the cure for 17stab wounds to the back, i'll be thawed out and ready to party in my bunker with xenu.

You too can live in this metal tube for $140,000

Check out the genuine scientitians looking professional with their antiquated computer monitors and big knob things that look like they are from the 1940's.

Quotes: from My name is Earl:

Earl: So here I am,...teachin'. The last time i stood in front of a room full of foreigners, I was robbin' the DMV

Catalina: What exactly is a country fair?

Randy: It’s like Disneyland for poor people

Therapist: Earl, maybe you need to ask yourself if you have a gambling problem.

Earl: Hmm, no, I don't have a gambling problem, I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem. So why don't y'all pour some sugar on that?

Joy: Not everybody is trying to change the world, Earl. Some of us are just trying to get our fair taste of a waterbed business when our parents kick the bucket.

season four, please no more.

2007-11-06T03:12:00.000-08:00

okay, take a moment to bask in the witty title, now i will make my point. Many TV shows have a premise that can't go past season three. Shows like the OC, where some povo from cino moves to a rich kids pool house and causes trouble while making the nerd popular-this premise runs dry after three seasons, and on the fourth season it was axed. and according to my patchy memory, which is getting worse every day, i recall dawsons creek getting shit on its fourth season.
(talking about memory, every month that goes past i get more and more impressed with the simple recall of my friends, they seem to remember the last time we had a meal and what we talked about three meals ago, and all i can can remember is a friend with octopus arms and getting a call from the president-which is far from the truth,)

but many tv shows have a premise which can go indefinately like ER or whatever, and i thought i could House MD in this category- a show about about a brilliant doctor and his team of different personalities dealing with patients that had diseases that you wanted house to cure, and you felt for the people dying and the people treating them, but no , season four of house has all the magic of house and his subtle relations with his team dissapear, to be replaced with stupid heads that noone cares about, and now house is purely an asshole, where he used to be an asshole that you could care about because you wanted the patient to survive, and because of his relationship with his team, but all the magic is gone, and they have fucked with the premise, so it is now a hollow sheel that once resembled the show House MD, it has become a parody of itself. At least i have the first three seasons on dvd, and watching the fourth just makes me reminis over the first three. I think those first three seasons are the best thing humanity has ever done, they had all the philosophy of 3thousand years of society plus the science plus the subtle ways people care for each other and the magic of being a healer and wathcing peoples convalescence. But now it is just shitty contrived drama, about people i dont care about.

-also i would like to mention to Jroc that i never delete comments, it must have been a tech issue because all your comments from the previous post are there???

quotes:
(While playing Pacman at the bar)
Brian: Get, get the fruit. It's more points. Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna get the fruit.Brian: Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna... I can't get the fruit.
Brian: Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna get the fruit there's a ghost right there!

leap of faith and the flying spaghetti monster

2007-10-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

--According to tabloid reports, Top Gun star Tom Cruise is planning to build a $10 million bunker underneath his Colorado mansion as a precaution against an alleged intergalactic ruler called Xenu who, Cruise believes, will attack Earth. --

this is awesome. the world is kind of confusing, so people choose to believe in a deity or something or rather, and most of the time it is something that cannot be proved. So, if you are going to choose to make a leap of faith into believing something that you can never prove, you might aswell take a big run-up, and leap over a casm, and believe that the flyign spaghetti monster created everything. I'm impressed with Tom Cruise's comittment to his leap - i'm inclined to build my own bunker, just so i can chill and turn up the music really loud, but if it's to escape from the aliens, then why not? Scientology has a lot of ratinal viewpoints with looking at the world, and that is the appeal to many, it is a system with which to live, but i'm guessing that after about the third week they slowly start mentioning Xenu and his band of miscreants.

-i think the church of the flying spaghetti monster is the way, -The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily." - So maybe he can come and chill in my bunker, and listen to Jose Gonzales, watch the Patriots games, and drink heavily, occasionally waxing lyrical about the state of the universe.

And did i mention that the flying spaghetti monster knows what is causing GLOBAL WARMING -- Pirates!! We need more pirates.

If you believe in the spaghetti monster you are known as a pastafarian, and according to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians.Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by christian theologians in the middle ages and hare krishnas. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, and adds that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history." Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on the 19th of September.

anyway the cause of all the bad such as global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s.

many religions say it is up to science to disprove that their god doesn't exist, not that they should have to prove it. So the guy who came up with this is poking fun at that concept. No one can prove that the flying spaghetti monster doesn't exist. If carbon dating or something tries to prove he doesn't exist, you can just be certain that he waved his noodly appendages about and fudged the results.

he is a cool god too, because he doesn't really get into the whole fire and brimstone thing, he has the 'eight i'd really rather you didn'ts' instead of comandments.

you can check them out here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

and in closing, i bow down to my new master, and all his noodly appendages.

who are you people

2007-10-17T02:42:00.000-07:00

well casey stoner won the world championship, and the australian grand prix!!! he is a motoGP cchampion and a role model for everyone living in the upper hunter, who feel as though those city folk think you can't achieve anything except for waering a tie to your court day, and possibly procuring a decent paying job in a coal mine. I think it is weird that -- i just found out that you can go to western australia and drive a water truck for 21 thousand per month, or you can be a miner for the same money-- and you go to university to be a lawyer, and after six years you might be lucky to get a para-legal job paying 69grand a year, or you can spend that six years of uni doing a mining job in western australia and walk away with about a cool million. You have to live in a shack out in the middle of nowhere (risking cabin fever, and according to every movie i have seen, you will start killing everyone in about three weeks) but apart from that you don't have to study and do tets and hand in essays or do presentations to make a truckload of cash, all you have to do is live in a shack and drive a truck.

anyway i rode my ag-bike into town the other day, for those of you have seen 'just like stone' you will know the shitty old bike im talking about -talkign about justlikestone it has nearly had 2,000 hits on youtube, the madness continues- anyway so i went to the bottlo and bought a six pack and a cigar, and i roll up to the red traffic light with the six pack between my legs on the fuel tank and the lit cigar in my mouth, and i have to keep revvign the engine or it will die, and there is a whole in the muffler so it sound slike a harley- anyway im revving it and smoking my cigar with my bikie gang helmet on, and look across to the soccer mum next to me, and i take a big puff and nod at her on my unregistered unroadworthy bike, and the hoon off. ahh, good times in maitland.

my favourite spirit in the whole is jim beam- i think scotch tastes like piss compared to good ol' american sour mash whiskey, like JD and JB. Beam of course is my favourite, and they have just released jim zero, the can of mixed beam and coke zero -it's brilliant. but still not as good as anything in the usa, the only thing in the usa is pure pure jim beam, they didn't have the range of chicks drinks, or the more politically correct 'mixed drinks' that we have. I can still remember going into a spirit shop and asking for the beam&cokes, and the dude had no idea what i was talking about, eventually one of the other guys said that they had the cans of mixed beam and coke for a few months, a couple of years back, but noone bought them so they dont stock them anymore. of course noone buys them when a big bottle of jim beam is only 12 bucks!!!! that's right as soon as i find out about that i didnt want anymroe mixed drinks. 12bucks as opposed to about 35 bucks in australia,-stupid taxes- seriously think about this for a minute 12DOLLARS for a quart of jim beam in america and it's about 36 in australia!! also for anyone who smokes, a

pack of cigarettes like marlboro go between 3 and 4 bucks, where as you pay about 10-11 bucks in australia. Again its taxes on a product the government think hurts people, well bull shit, what the fuck do you go to work to buy, food, and grog!! and maybe some toothpaste. everyone in australia needs to stand up and stop the attrocities now!! in the comign election i urge all my blog readers to vote for the 'no tax on beer party' you may laugh, but it is a real party, and it needs to come to power. the alternative is brewing your own, but fuck that shit, that involves effort. anyway i dont even know what im saying anymore, ive had a few too many jim beam and zeros' oh yeah , thats right, vote for the no tax on beer party.

also let's take a moment to celebrate the achievement of casey stoner. When i buy my 1'000 cc bike next year i'm even thinking of going ducati. the ducati 1098, might win over the yamaha R1 that i have been coverting for many months. The red ducati or the blue yamaha? i'm leaning toward the ducati (no bike riding pun intended) at the moment. Which ever wins over, i can't wait to get off my virago.

-also if you are wondering why casey stoner's bike has that weird white barcode as the main advertisement, well it's because he is sponsored by marlboro, just like the red ferrari team in formula 1, and some countries allow cigarette advertising , so in a couple of races in the year it actually says marlboro, but for the majority of races it just has the barcode. But i guess it is still worth marlboro paying the 4 million bucks just to get the announcers to say 'marlboro ducati team' .. If/when i make millions of dollars i'm going to start my own superbike team, in motoGP it costs about 8 million a year to run a succesful team, or you could 4 million and do a shitty team, but in the australian superbike championship you could run a championship[ winning side for 3 million. That's what i don't get about bill gates, why the fuck doesn't he do somethign really cool, like create his own motoGP tea or car racign or whatever, all he does is throw a few dollars to fight malari in an african country, and spend the rest doing god knows what, seriously he needs to pay me 5 millions a year, to come up with cool projects. Like creating a jet fueled rocket pack competition in the desert, or paying snipers to protect the elephants in africa, or create a whole team of jack bauers to defend the amazon raiforest-you know, shit that would make the nobel prize winning/inventor of the environment AL Gore happy. but no, he gives a few million to malaria and spends the rest on.... anyway i think i was born to be a PR rep for a billionare., you know i saw a thing about geoff harvey, the dude who owns harvey norman, which is like best buy in america, anyway he has like 400million and he still washes his own car.. now i respect that , its cool you dont want to get ahead of yourself, but the reason he gave for washing his own car was very very sad.. he said vefore i was rich i washed my own car , and i didnt get rich by paying peopel to wash my car. ok so first this tosser actually washes his car, which means he wants to present an image which means he cares what other people think , and second FUCK , after 400million dollars why are you still working just to save money on washing your own damn car , fuck i would be paying ten playboy bunnies to do it, otherwise i would have retired after 10 million dollars and just enjoyed this very short life we have. we aren't on this earth for long, something that i have really consolidated recently after reazlizing that i have been home for from the usa for nearly 12 months.. now it seems as though i just got home-damn this year like all the rest has gone sooo quick, 'the days are long, but the years are short' this is soo true , and the point im making is that after ten million bucks i think ill pay someone to wash my car, or ill do it myself jsut for the pride- but if im washing my own car after 400million just to pennypinch than fuck , ill need a reality check, i should go and watch the homeless people in san fran who are happy for 10bucks. I have no problem with washing your own car. but after 400million if you are washing it to save money, then fuck you have missed the boat. The whole reason we work is to have money to spend in our downtime, and look after our family. SO why let work tak eover that time if it doesn't have to.

who gives a fuck, im going to go and watch House M.D. the best show on Tv. lol.

-you've been a great audience.

DanielinAmerica - part deux

2007-10-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

ok, due to absolutely no demand what-so-ever, i have released the second and final installment to Danielinamerica, aptly titled, 'danielinamerica - part deux - vengence with blood'

i would recomend sitting through through the first three minutes just to get to the college madness section at the end, with the sound provided by - louie louie by the kingsmen-the all-time college song.

anyway here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCR2kK2Mto

Quotes:

Brian: There's a woodpecker on your head.
Keanu Reeves: Yeah, he comes and goes.
*
Lois: A good breakfast is the foundation of a good day.
Brian: And a bad breakfast is the foundation of indigestion! HEYOOOOOOOOOO! Hi, I'm Brian.
*
Stewie: Go on, hot wire it!
Brian: Hot wire? I don't even pump my own gas.
*
Brian: Umm...where are the toilets?
New Yorker Editor: Oh, no one at The New Yorker has an anus.
Gary Coleman as Stewie: Whatcha talkin' 'bout vile woman?!

danielinamerica - the major motion picture

2007-10-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

daniel in america, the major motion picture has just been released!! It follows the story of a young aussie guy setting out on a journey of self discovery in the big and bold United States of America. He soon discovers that there is a plot to overthrow the government, so in a brash move he joins the rebels in the hope of discovering their secret. It is when he is giving this information to the FBI that the double-cross happens, and the government use him as a patsy to negotiate the release of hostages in Iran. While rotting in an Iranian prison cell, he hatches a plan to get the heck out of there-only he doesn't count on one thing-Falling in love, with the beautiful iranian woman who delivers his prison food. She risks her life to smuggle him back into the USA, where they foil the corrupt FBI agents, marry, and bring peace to the world. They also disable a nuclear bomb set to detonate under the louvre in France. And throw an apple pie at ryan seacrest.

or its just my 4 minute long edited version of the nine hours of footage i took while spending seven months in the USA.

check out the video here with sound provided by unwritten law -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyPN_JWUPig

the mother country

2007-10-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

good ol' England really trumped us at the world cup. As our only internatinal team, with a full following, we were humbly defeated. And so we go silently into the night. Only to take merryment in the Casey Stoner, our true world champion. Damn Wallabies, letting those tea drinking, eel pie eating poms kick their way to a possible second consecutive world title through wilkinson's boot. I guess to make some sense of it, it comparing it to the american basketball dream team losing. The dream team aren't supposed to lose, and so too are the wallabies supposed to win.
-
i can't believe it has been two weeks since my last post, and my 150th post! wow, doesn't time go by in a blink, i feel as though i just finished my last post, and now two weeks later i'm writing a new one. I'm also going to the timberlake concert, which may come as a shock to some. But i still have some indie taste, don't frett. I just purchased Jose Gonzales, and i would have to say that it is album of the month: i have never given such an award--the only award i have given previously is the donkey of the month award-- and seeing as i don't want to complicate things being so close to an election, i'll stick to pop-culture, and name Jose GOnzales as album of the month. A beautiful melodic tapestry of life. That;s my quote for booksleeve.

- so, what else is in the news? casey stoner is racing at phillip island in the australian leg of the motoGP this weekend. An event i dearly wish to attend if it weren;t for the whoel flood victim thing, and getting the house ready for the new kitchen. I guess Stoner can wait until next year. And by then, i'll be able to ride my brand spanking new R1 !!!!! done to phillip island at 200 mile per hour. For people who don't understand motorbikes and only drive/understand cars it is the equivalent of driving a formula one car, that;s right, faster than a porsche- 285 km/hr top speed. If i got a suzuki gsx1000 , that would apparently go 295. Anyway for persepctive, Casey Stoner gets up to about 315km.hr on certain circuits on straights, same with formula one.

-once again i'm going to leave the heavy loading of this blog post to family guy quotes. Enjoy.

Quotes:
Chris: What's a library, dad?
Peter: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.
*
Peter: You know what I haven't had in awhile? Big League Chew.
*
Peter: Our sex is so dull for you that you gotta fantasize about George Clooney?
Lois: I'm sorry honey, I guess that things have become a little...stale for me.
Peter: Well, I-I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't really know that much about any kinky stuff. I mean, I-I could hook this car battery up to my nipples.
*
Peter: You ever watch that show Scrubs? Lois had it on the other night, and I was kinda fading in and out, you know. I was watching and wondering..... which one is the funny guy?

Casey Stoner World Champion

2007-09-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

He did it. Casey Stoner, the little guy from Kurri Kurri, who looks like he is captain of the grade six basketball team, has defeated Valentino Rossi, to become the 2007 MotoGP champion. My friend thinks he should be called 'Australian of the Year,' after doing a little charity he should definately be considered. And the interest he has created in MotoGP and Ducatti is impressive.

-onto another motorcycle rider with Stone in his name. Yes, i'm talking about none other than Simon 'Stone' Clulow. I was going to report that 'Just Like Stone' has had 1,000 youtube view, that's right one thousand!! But having a look now, it has actually had 1,182 views. Perhaps i can thank all the tags i put on it when uploading it to youtube. Stuff like, 'best movie of all time,' and 'crazy death defying stunts.' so i'm willing to bet that there are 1,182 seriously dissapointed people out. It's a good movie, but barely lives up to the tags.

-my codeine tablets are kicking in , so im going to fill the rest of this post with some family guy quotes. Yep this is my 150th post! and i'm all out. I've got nothing. I've been bounced around trying to replant the crops after the flood. I still have a few more hours of rolling to do, and a bit more harrowing. Hopefully the codeine will make it as pleasant as possible. At least the new tractor has a CD player. Rock on.

Quotes:

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
***
Stewie: (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
***
Brian: You know just because you guys sung for some drunkards at a karaoke bar, doesn't mean you have talent.
Peter: Oh whatever Brian, you're just ants at a picnic.
Brian: I'm what? I'm ants at a picnic?
Peter: Uh-huh.
Brian: Yeah, ok... just wanted to make sure I heard that right.
***
Trisha Takinawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?Mayor
Adam West: Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup... no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold onto that one.
***
Adam West: I love this job more than I love taffy ... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

Clutch Problems for Casey Stoner in Portugal 2007

2007-09-19T03:26:00.000-07:00

In what could have been a clinching of the MotoGP world championship on Sunday night in Portugal, merely became a slight delay for Casey Stoner. For the first five laps, Casey Stoner led the race, and pulled down lap times slighter faster than Spaniard Dani Pedrosa and Italy's own Valentino Rossi. After Lap five, Stoner dropped back, letting Rossi and Pedrosa battle it out to the finish, with Stoner taking home third and 17 valuable championship points. What was truly impressive about Stoner's ride, was the fact that he lost engine braking on Lap 5, with a faulty clutch. And after dropping off the pace, the level-headed aussie taught himself to ride the faulty bike, and take new race lines. He was unable to brake as late as his opponents. And a marking of just how truly great he is, is in the fact that in the final laps he even began closing the gap on Rossi and Pedrosa, who were enjoying a tight battle to the line. Next week will see Stoner again attempt to clinch the world championship in Japan.

into the unknown

2007-09-15T02:55:00.000-07:00

It has been reported that simon 'stone' clulow is in north korea as you read this. Apparently he needs to be accompanied by two armed north korean soldiers. That is what 'E' news reported ,, they said that 'Stone' the greatest motorcycle showman in australian history has been spotted entering North Korea with Britney Spears. Apparently he was using britney as a shield, a rather 'large' shield . lol, according to her last mtv awards appearance.

The truth is that Stone really is in north korea, and the other truth is that damn,, britney sure did look fine at that awards show. I dont see why everyone os callign her fat. She has just had two kids and looks fantastic, (now i'm not being like that weird gay guy on youtube that is tellign everyone to leave her alone) her performance was pretty stumbling, but if you saw her in the street you would think wow she is damn fine, but everyone is tearing her apart for being 'fat' and then peopel wonder why girls have an anorexia obsession. If britney is FAT than a regular girl is morbedly obese.

Anyway this could be the last time i report about Stone. He is either going to mysteriously dissapear, or kick Kim Jong Ill's ass 'Stone Style'. When Stone first told me about his mission to the asia's and then to North Korea, i asked 'why do you want to go to North Korea?' and Stone said 'you gotta do something.' --classic stone. It's so true, you gotta do something. And Simon 'Stone' Clulow is going to be one of the few westerners to visit north korea. Also, for all the fans of 'just like stone' i have been colaborating with Stone while he is in the asias on the script for the sequel. It's going to be huge, with explosions and shit.

I watched 'Sunshine' the other night-it blew my mind. What a brilliant movie. I love sci-fi's that really instill the wonder of the world and earth, because it is easy today to get caught up in financial figures and forget about what we are doing here, and all that jazz. And it takes a really insightful movie to make you sit back and say 'wow' life is kind of weird, and what's it all about. Babel which i watched earlier, was intense but didn't instill the wonder of the universe like a sci-fi can. It was more about everyone on the earth no matter what colour they are, are the same. I don't get why they had to age brad pitt ten years. I guess they wanted his character to come out and not the celebrity. As they say 'the moon plays every night to an empty audience.' But i don't think that is a bad thing at all. There is so much going on in life that why the fuck should you look at the moon, when you are worried about your telephone bill. And people say well you can blame society for that, or for plastic surgery or whatever, but the fact is: we live in society , and can never not live in it, or change it, so we have to accept it. Wow, i am really digressing, i think you can blame the wine for this tangent. Umm. my point is.. umm , ok, umm , eh, i think i remember my point, it was something like, life is esoteric (word of the week) and umm something or rather, and its only when you're drunk that you can have any grasp of the innner cogs of the world. Wow, the alcohol really brings out my poetic side. But screw it, i think my point is that no matter what a poet or doctor or garbage man or whoever, say someone honourable should live their lives, it is purely up to you. So screw off garbage man. lol.

Quotes:

'those flashing lights come from everywhere. The way they hit her, i just stop and stare. She's got me lovestoned. I think i'm lovestoned. She's got me lovestoned. I think that she knows. '
- Justin Timberlake - 'lovestoned'
*
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
*
Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighter.
Peter: Red, blue, green...Brian: Those are colors.
*
Chris: I don't care what she says, I'm never going back!
Brian: Look you can't run away from your problems Chris. That's what I tried to do. I joined the Peace Corps and a day later I was two continents away.
Chris: Really?
Brian: Yep, but 6,000 miles and all the dope I could smoke still couldn't separate me from my problems. And this was good dope. I mean it was growing everywhere. Oh my God! This one time we got so baked we ended up eating all the food at the food the World Health Organization had airlifted in. Oh man those villagers were so pissed! They tried to chase us, but lemme just say thank God for polio.

Lazy Sunday

2007-09-08T20:26:00.000-07:00

With a cup of coffee in hand, i turned on the tube for some easy sunday morning viewing. But, alas, i sat down before procuring the remote controls. The TV was set to one of the 'women' channels on cable. In particular Ellen Digenros or however you spell it, personally i call her Ellen the degenerate. She has her own talk show. I couldn't be assed getting the remotes so i watched a good forty minutes of her talk show. And i can say she has won me over. I won't be tuning in specially to watch her show, but if it happens to be on i'm not adverse to watching. She is really quite funny, and her 'bit' where she was taking the toll at a new york bridge was decent. Her first guest was Faith Hill, and wow, she is a beautiful woman. After a quick chat Faith sang her new hit single, and then some other guest came on and i changed the channel.

--I only wrote about that because otherwise i would write about motorbikes (which i just did the 8hour course to get my provisionals, and passed! -only 12 months now until i get my japanese road rocket, the yamaha R-1, and then not long after that until you'll all be at my funeral.)

-so anyway after ellen i grabbed the remote, watched some simpsons and some news headlines, to see all the protestors in hyde park. I'm trying to get in the spirit of defiance, and think of my own protest. I'm not a big fan of an extra set of traffic lights they just put in on the highway. It's costing me an extra couple of minutes on the way to uni. I could chain myself to the pole or cut the pole down, or i could just go have some lunch, which i think is the best option. But i do have to say that if you ever want a bunch of weird looking people, just go to an anti government protest. You know the people who hate g-8 and globalism and all that jazz. I've got nothing against them, but wow, what a bunch of wacky looking people. They probably believe the government have UFO's in hangars throughout the desert. Long haired freaks. You never see well-to-do people marching, just people who look like they haven't showered for weeks. So i guess bad hygiene goes hand in hand with socialism.
you've been a great audience. goodnight everybody!

Quotes:

Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
*
Stewie: Oh damn! Jeremy is still in the trunk! How long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead.
*
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
*
Lois: Chris, we know what you did.
Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?
Lois: No.Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but no.
Stewie: How is that close?

Stone

2007-08-31T01:09:00.000-07:00

OK anything on the 1974 australian film 'Stone' is hard to track down. The following is from http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:VKvGPhcsvkMJ:wwwmcc.murdoch.edu.au/ReadingRoom/film/dbase/2002/stone.htm+stone+the+movie&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=au

such classic australian cinema should be fucking celebrated in the streets. There was nothing on imdb dot com. im not giving them a proper link because they let me down. No Stone stuff. Anyway i sat on my first harlye today. a 1993 dyna wide glide. A couple of months ago i got a harley product booklet from a salesman and i studied it every night for about 3 weeks. So, today when this dude turned up, and i was like ' that's a dyna from the amf era' i was a big fucking hero.you fucking know it. Holy shit those mothers sound loud and good. After that i went for a cruise on my virago to get some grog. I put on my little black helmet so i look like a bikie and i ride to the 'drive in' bottlo. I got a six pack of cougar and put it between my legs on the fuel tank for the ride home. One of the best rides of my life. No gloves, open helmet, and a feeling of superiority over those stoopid idiots in their cars, missing out on life. And paying a fortune for petrol and auxiliaries.

anyway here is the extract for those true australian cinema fans: (look at the cool character names)

Stone

“Take a trip with Stone”

Original released in 1974.
‘Directors cut’ in 1999.

98 Minutes

Starring
Ken Shorter
....
Stone
Sandy Harbutt
....
Undertaker
Deryck Barnes
....
Doctor Townes
Hugh Keays-Byrne
....
Toad
Roger Ward (I)
....
Hooks
Vincent Gil (I)
....
Dr. Death
Dewey Hungerford
....
Septic
James H. Bowles
....
Stinkfinger
Bindi Williams
....
Captain Midnight
John Ifkovitch
....
Zonk
Lex Mitchell
....
Ballini
Rhod Walker
....
Chairman
Owen Weingott
....
Adler
Slim DeGrey
....
Hannigan
Ray Bennett (II)
....
Larsen
Bill Hunter (I)
....
Barman
Helen Morse
....
Amanda
Rebecca Gilling
....
Vanessa
Sue Lloyd
....
Tart
Rosalind Talamini
....
Sunshine
Victoria Anoux
....
Flossie
Jane Gilling
....
Euridyce
Eva Ifkovitch
....
Tiger

Film Produced by

Sandy Harbutt

Directed by

Sandy Harbutt

Written by

Sandy Harbutt and Michael Robinson

Bibliography

Richard Kuiper, Stone Forever rhttp://www.urbancinefile.com.au/home/view.asp?Article_ID=2612

Internet Movie Database
http://www.imdb.com

Making of Stone (Stone DVD)

Stone Forever (1999)

Stone (1974)

Australian national Cinema, Tom O’Regan, 1996, Routledge.

Stone’s presence in on line and filmic literature is somewhat thin on the ground, my primary source of material being the Making of Stone and the 1999 Documentary Stone Free, which while useful, was more a retrospective on the films impact than the Film itself, so I had to, a certain degree, rely on anecdotal evidence.

Stone Review

In the late sixties and early seventies, Australia, with the rise of the Australian Film institute, with the formation various funding bodies, with the emergence of the various tax breaks set out to not only to revitalize and sustain our gradually re-emerging film industry, but to create a national cinema. Not just a film industry but also a cinema. An attempt to create something we can show the world, to put ourselves on the cultural map. We made films of the nature ‘Picnic at Hanging Rock’ (197*) and such like. We made our quality films and the rest of the world took notice. We did not merely want film, Australia was instead seeking high art.

‘Stone’ (1974) was not one of these films. Stone was instead something else. It lived in the places of genre. The biker film, the mystery film, the exploitation film. This is where Stone dwells and perhaps why it is unacknowledged. Australia has not excelled, particularly, in the arena of the genre film. Apart from occasional excursions within the 80’s and 90’s, brought by the rise of large budget cinema in the 80’s and the rise of the more overtly quirky films of the later 90’s, we have been lacking in this department. Stone however, can be regarded s the unacknowledged bastard stepchild of the 70’s mode of ‘high cinema’, banging its oversized and malformed head against the water pipes of cinema’s attic in an effort to be heard.

The member of the Gravediggers, a gang of ex-Vietnam, veteran, Satanist bikers is being murdered after one of their number witnesses the assassination of a pro-environment politician who is directing protest against a new waterside development. Only sighting the bikers club insignia, the assassin is forced to hunt and kill the various members of the gang in the hope one of them will be the witness, including a moderately infamous decapitation by wire of a motorcyclist. Finally, police officer Stone is sent in, to go undercover amongst the bikers, where is reluctantly and the gradually accepted, in turn accepting their way of life and seeing it as, perhaps, a better way, becoming all but part of it, up to participating in a gang related brawl. Eventually, however, after a vicious battle between the assassin and the Gravediggers, he makes a choice to which world he belongs and stops the bikers from taking the life of their predator. Following this, while in his home, his musings of the nature of the bikers is interrupted by the Gravediggers, who come in and nearly or perhaps do, stomp him near to death, stripping him of his gang initiation earring and club jacket. The movie closes with his second choice of where he belongs when he tells his wife, as she rings the police, the words that close the movie, the oft repeated refrain of the Gravediggers “No Cops.”

What perhaps separated Stone from the films of the era was its nihilism. While the films of the era, such as ‘The Cars That Ate Paris’ and ‘Walkabout’ concentrated on the rejection of the values of middle class and ‘high’ society a and, indeed, even the seminal American biker movie ‘Easy rider’ merely rejected a part of society, Stone was against all of society, from the police, to big business, to the counterculture, to merely the normal life of Stone and his wife. All of it was rejected in favor of the only sustainable value in the movies eyes, the motor cycle club, which is shown to be close because of both what they have been through and also who they can trust. They accept the dispossessed into their ranks and reject everything else. Their rejection is the realization that the rest of society discarded them first, sent them off to Vietnam to die and

To continue this point, one of the central ideas of Australian cinema is the idea of lifestyle as a character, however exaggerated. The shearing of ‘Sunday too far away’, the coastal tourism lifestyle of ‘Muriel’s Wedding’, the seedy Kings Cross underworld of ‘Two Hands’. These all make the backdrop against they occur as important as the characters themselves, as integral to the story and it’s flavor as the dialogue. This is something that is also apparent in Stone. The biker lifestyle becomes the movie, the rules and attitudes become the central character, stuck in a kind of doom romance with Officer Stone, his vicious beating at the films finale the actions of a jilted lover as much as the bikers revenge. His rejection of the police as much a rejection of his wife and the values, the lifestyle, she represents as an acceptance of biker culture. This too is true. A character becomes a lifestyle as well.

However, for all this, the film itself is hardly a work of art. It has aged badly, it’s atavistic bikers resembling relatively harmless hippies more than anything, it’s once shocking violence becoming, except for the brutal final scene, relatively tame. This is perhaps were the exploitation genre fails. It relies on shock, it relies on titillation and once these are gone, there isn’t truly that much left to the film. While still entertaining, still interesting, much of the entertainment value now comes from mocking the performances, the presence of the epynomous Bill Hunter and so forth. Sadly, whatever Stone once was, now it has become a vaguely amusing joke.

There is, however, something special about what Sandy Harbutt did at the time. He became Australia’s first true Auteur. The film was entirely his vision, created from something he knew and sought to develop, writing the screenplay, directing in it, helping to perform the music and finally, acting within it. It was a film held together, more than anything, by a singular vision, something few other Auteur can truly claim. It was perhaps due to the climate of the seventies created by the Australian Film Commission that he was in fact able to do this, relying less on commercial or studio monies as otherwise might be the case, outside pressures that may cause a single vision to be compromised by many in the name of marketability, though, apparently, with limited funds, Harbutt had paid his camera crew and a sizable chunk of his cast in beer and pot.

Sandy Harbutt, however, has made nothing since, the only involvement in the Australian film industry he has had since was the chance to drive a truck, something he rejected so as not to deny a professional driver work. However, Stone experienced something of a revival at the hands of the Australian documentary ‘Stone Forever’ (1999), which explored the impact of the film both then and since, with a particular emphasis on biker culture. The screening of this, coupled with the movie, placed the film itself back on the Australian Film making map, as much due to the quality of the documentary, with many screenings filled with capacity, both with cinema aficionados and bikers.

In it’s own time, while immensely successful in the cinemas, Stone, like many classics of the exploitation genre, was even more of a hit at the drive in, something that is perhaps an entirely different cinematic culture. Perhaps the closest allegory to it’s performance, though Stone perhaps lacks the same level of memetic viral obsessive ness in it’s marketing and personal distribution as this particular contemporary, is the ‘Billy Jack’ series, which developed a broad audience through word of mouth, not a great deal like this having been produced in Australia before or since. Stone, upon it’s wider popularity being obtained, there were rumors that the film was apparently available in two prints, one containing the decapitation scene and the incidents of full frontal nudity and one without American Schlockmeister Russ Meyer.

For all it’s popularity and the endorsement of Australian radio personality John Laws, critics accepted the film less than warmly, regarding it, along with the like of The Adventures of Barry McKenzie (1972), as something of a cultural embarrassment, to be swept under the carpet. The Alvin Purples, the Barry McKenzie’s, the Stones. These are the forgotten parts of Australian film history, lacking the presentability of the films of Peter Weir or Baz Lurhman, but an important part none the less and one that perhaps should be acknowledged. It must be realized that, while the films themselves may not be particularly ‘important’ films, they are still /important/ films, Australia’s filmic underground and, in Stone’s case the stillborn career of someone who may have been great, the early hiccups and musings of a nascent film industry that has given us what we have today and this is why they must be remembered.

Quotes:
'keep your spanners off our moles' - Stone

Eight Greatest Motorcycles in Entertainment

2007-08-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Motorcycles have long captured the imagination and stirred the heart. Whether as a cheap way of commuting, or moving one's body in style. The motorcycle has many incarnations, be it fitted out with the showiest of chrome, or built for breath-taking speeds, or even a third wheel. One thing is for sure, riding a motorcycle isn't for the feint-hearted; if it rains you get wet, and if you fall off you die. And naturally they permeate our pop culture. Motorcycles started off with a squeaky clean image, and could even be purchased through a sears catalogue. Then along came cinema, and the poor old motorcycle rider was branded as a no goodnick, leeching of society, riding into towns and terrorizing helpless citizens. But, slowly their reputation has been rebuilt, and the following is a celebration of the eight greatest motorcycles to ever grace the big or small screen. (no scooters included.)

One: In 1963 Steve Macqueen was riding a TR6 trophy that was painted to look like a German bike. The most famous motorcycle jump ever to hit the screen. 'The Great Escape' was a brilliant homage to the versatility of motorcycles. Steve Macqueen himself, an avid rider.

..............................................................................................................................

Two: Captain America, a modified Harley Davidson created by Peter Fonda, to give life to the 1969 motorcycle film 'Easy Rider'. Peter Fonda was an experienced motorcycle rider, ergo his bike is more chopped out with the apehanger bars. Dennis Hopper on the other-hand was less skilled, and rode a more simple bike. The film was a celebration of the freedom a motorcycle can offer.

. . . .

..............................................................................................................................................................................

Three: Marlon Brando's motorcycle is a 650cc Triumph Thunderbird, in the film 'The Wild One.' Filmed in 1953 as biker outlaw flick. In this film we see Brando playing a 'rebel without a cause,' two years before James Dean made his rebel without a cause film. If only Jimmy Dean had lived for a bit longer, perhaps, he would have made it to this list. The film 'The Wild One,' was deemed to scandolous in England and was banned for fourteen years. It also stars the man with the classic voice, Lee Marvin.

..............................................................................................................................................................................

Four: Modern Television can’t be omitted, so i have included the Honda CBR-1000 ridden by House, from the hit show ‘House M.D.’ We see the disgruntled character House, start riding a motorcycle in season two. He starts off by test riding, an Italian Ducati; yet in the next show he has bought a Honda. (Obviously there was some serious money put forward by Honda) He rides a race replica, and it has been in a spill, and has a large scrape down the side. So it is slightly jaded, just like House himself. The important point is the reason for House to start riding. He was treating a little girl who was going to die from cancer. She took a risk in stealing a kiss from Dr. Chase. House too wanted to enjoy life, so he chose to ride a motorcycle.

................................................................................................................................................................................

2007-08-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

Five: Fonzies bike. Some say it started as a Harley Sportster, only to be changed to a Triumph in later years. Whatever the model, any Bike ridden by the Fonz is a classic.

.............................................................................................................................................................................

Six: In 1991 'Terminator 2' rode into cinemas. Watching 'Arnie' ride one-handed, while loading a shotgun is priceless. He shoots with a 12-gauge 6 shot, Winchester Model 1887. He rides a Black Harley fat boy, with a built in shotgun holder! We all remember when the terminator walks in to a bar and says : 'give me your cloths, your boots, and your bike.'

...............................................................................................................................................................................

Seven: This is the bike ridden by Johnny Blaze. This picture is from the 2007 film, starring Nicolas Cage, as Danny Blaze. The travelling circus stunt man, who sells his soul to satan, in order to save his step father. 'Ghostrider' started as a marvel comic. Who doesn't want to ride a motorcycle with flaming wheels. And built from the sinew of faunicators, and sinners.

..............................................................................................................................................................................

Eight: The 1980 Honda CT125 ridden by Simon 'Stone' Clulow in the crazy motorcycle stunt movie 'Just Like Stone.' Released in 2007, 'Just Like Stone,' has become a youtube smash-hit. With its witty dialogue, and irreverant script, Just Like Stone has been dubbed one of the greatest movies of all time.
Stone's motorcycle, uses a danish tin strapped on with red electrical tape, for the front fender. That same electrical tape is used to hold the clutch together. It has also been poorly painted white, with a can of spraypaint.
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWiL4-F-wlE

...............................................................................................................................................................................

Eastern Creek

2007-08-18T09:02:00.001-07:00

Teknic honda's team. Stoopid Honda. Why doesn't House ride a yzf-r1? It's all about the yamaha!

My dog is bigger than me!

Today i went to Eastern Creek, to watch the aussie superbike championship. These dudes are insane!

I got a photo taken with the yamaha girls. As you can see below.

Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth? I mean, my shows weren't great but I never tied people up and forced them to watch. And I could've, because I'm a big guy and I'm good with knots.

This is Stauffer from the factory Yamaha team. He is the best in the aussie suberbike championship. Watching from the fence, I was speakign to a dude who used to ride an R-6 in the lower classes (C & D) he said he used to do the lap in 1.45 minutes, and stauffer does it in 1.31 seconds. Its a 3.9km track. Anyway, this dude i was speaking to crashed on the very corner where this phot of stauffer is taken. The dude said that you come out of the bend and hit 3rd gear, and their is so much power in the 1000cc R-1 that the front wheel lifts off the ground. It doesn't happen so much with a 600cc, which is in the lower 'supersport' category. My next motorcycle is going to be an R-1. As soon as i get off my P's. The speed these guys are going is incredible, it seems sooooo much faster than when i watch it on the TV. I have never seen anythign like it.

Bizarro world

2007-08-15T04:35:00.000-07:00

ok... ok... this is just weird. Remember a few months ago i put up a link about the univeristy - georgia tech- having a link back to one of my blog posts, because it spoke of how georgia tech flogged the virginia football team. Well, my crappy motorcycle stunt, which has now had over 300 youtube hits has been linked to, by what seems a legitimate motocross website.
http://www.teammizell.com/Photos.htm
click on the above link and you will see a page with lots of motorcycle stunt pictures, and there is a youtube inbed. Well when you click on play and after the selected video is finished. There is about 15 other motorcycle videos which you can scroll on to watch. And notice one of them has my dogs in it! it's my tattoo unveiling clip.(un-freaking believable) It's a related video. This is a website with real motorcross people from texas, and for some reason i am one of their featured albeit 'related' youtube videos.

Flood Victim..

2007-08-13T00:34:00.000-07:00

daniel callaghan the flood victim. It's official. I just wonder why my thoughts on insurance
claims make it to the national news. But on the upside, when i fill out a resume i'm going
to put daniel callaghan 'flood victim' -as seen on on channel seven. I should have told her
my middle name was blaze. Then I would be Danny Blaze Callaghan, the flood victim and crazy
motorcycle stuntman. The funny thing was i could tell she was doing a piece to rag on the
insurance companies. She buttered me up with an interview about the hardships of our
struggles and whatnot, and then kept popping in insurance questions, to get her sound bite.
I was hoping that you could read my t-shirt better, because i was representing Uva with my
virginia football shirt.

-- The crew just turned up out of the blue, i'm just glad i had just had a shower and shaved. I was looking pretty wild about two hours earlier. Technically I had to stand exactly in front of the brushfarm sign in the background. And that walk with the dogs, where i look forlorn, took three takes. We also shot some cool exit shots of me walking into inside and shutting the door,
they were obviously impertinent to the story, and were left out.

I put up the 15 second long video from the news on youtube, this is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPwMN0-i0NA

'Just like stone' - the greatest movie of all time - has had over two hundred views on
youtube. It has a 5star rating. And my motorcycle stunt where i show the tattoo has had nearly 300views, even more than
morris' cool skateboard stunt. now i know only a handfull of people read my blog. So some
poor bastard must type in 'crazy motorcycle stunt' and when my video shows up and it says
crazy death defying stunt, they must get very excited. And then quickly obviously very
dissapointed. Which shows with the 2star rating it has been given.

Check out this guy's tattoo. Narley. Around the eyes must have really stung.

Quotes:

Stewie: We're playing house... Lois: But that kid is all tied up! Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.

The Ride with Bromley 'Big Time.'

2007-08-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

This new motorcycle stunt movie is nearly comparable to 'Just Like Stone.'

This new one featuring Bromley 'Big Time' even has a kickass soundtrack provided by the Rolling Stones, and 'Big Time's' Biker mole 'Kimbo'.

See 'Big Time' attempt death defying stunts, including 'riding up the levee bank!' and even an appearance by Danny Blaze!!!
Danny Blaze fans will have their urges quenched with a brief nudity scene.

People have said that this is the 'feel good movie of the year.'

-'Just a fun romp!'

watch on the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hn7oXNOsFg

Lubans

2007-08-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

It needs to be announced that Rath Luban will be starring in the next Stone picture. It has been tantaively titled 'The adventures of Stone, Danny Blaze, and Rath Luban' but i stress that is only its working name. But insiders have seen Rath Luban carrying a Cafe Late onto the set, and giving it to his bitch. Sources will not name Portia the labrodor as the bitch.

In other news, Danny 'Blaze' Callaghan has had his tattoo coloured in. He decided not to go with the whole 'green' irish thing, but instead went for the more 'prison' black and white approach.

People asking what 'Fidus et Audax' means, should know it means 'bold and faithful.'

Shocking Revelation

2007-07-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

There has been a truly shocking revelation. Ladies and Gentlemen i am sorry to announce that the mysterious producer behind the classic film 'Just Like Stone,' has broken his silence. The madness behind the shooting of the film has now been revealed. And we can only look on in disgust, as the mysterious producer reveals, never before scene footage of Stone 'off the camera'
some are saying: 'sex, drugs, and rock and roll, only scratch the surface of this depravity.'
others have said: 'transgender women. Where did that come from?'
one even commented: 'Was this film really necessary?'

This three minute tell-all is as compelling as it is revolting. The truth behind Stone's manic personality is shocking to the core. And i must implore that you don't watch.

But if you do, here is the weblink:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZgM4bUTqkA

And you must watch the original classic film first:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWiL4-F-wlE

Just Like Stone

2007-07-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

My life is now complete. I can not achieve anything better in my life, than 'Just Like Stone.' The two minute motorcycle stunt movie i made to today, with Simon 'Stone' Clulow. What started out as just a simple filming of a stunt, turned in to what some are calling, 'a true revelation into human spirit.' Others have dubbed it. 'Instant classic which breaches the motorcycling world and comedy, and makes it accesible to all.' One even wrote. '....' obviously they were speechless. -others are in disbelief that i have topped my previous motorcycle stunt film.

We started simple, and filmed the stunt, only to later discover editing software on my computer. And what was created, may never be achieved again. For it was truly magic.

I now present you, with cinema at its finest. Dialogue, that compells. Action that electrifies. And a kickass credit sequence.Ladies and Gentlemen,i give you.

'Just Like Stone.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWiL4-F-wlE

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows

2007-07-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

This blog has nothing to do with Harry Potter. I just thought i would use that title to try and get some extra hits.

This blog is actually about my new tattoo, it isn't finished yet, i get it coloured in in two weeks.

I'm so sore. I thought for my tattoo unveiling i would do something special and do a motorcyclce stunt. Well, due to technical dificulties i ended up doing it three times. Oh man, craziness. But i hope you all enjoy. And check out the motorcycle crash with the tattoo unveiling. I ended up with petrol all over me, when the fuel line from the tank dislodged.

The first time i was going really fast, it's ashame it didn't work. I think my nerves made me slow down for the third time. It's weird making yourself go into a controlled crash. The adrenaline sure does flow.
Also watching the simpsons just now.Homer predicted the rapture, anyway, he speaks to God. I noticed that god has all five digits, whereas everyone else in the simpsons only has four fingers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7DpJc_OWkQ this is the web address for the video.

Below are some photos from the video on you tube.

Quote: This quote is interesting. It explores the argument about God giving a child a grenade. Imagine handing a child a grenade and saying, 'now don't play with that.' What sort of responsible adult would do such a thing? So, why would a responsible God do such a thing? You would only expect someone sadistic would actually give someone, a device which could destroy their happiness. Ahh, the hipocracy of the Christian God. Nothign against Christians, it's just that the folley's of other religions aren't unbiquitous in the pop culture on my TV. And i won't even start with Islam, lest a riot erupt.

Ned: Hi-diddly-ho, paradise-dwellers!

Marge: God?

Homer: Uh, good morning, Lord. I just have to, uh, compliment you on this beautifully crafted mate.

Ned: Oh, Adam, you're too kind.

Homer: No, you're too kind, and wise, and righteous. I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend.

Ned: Oh, please, you're going to give me a swelled head. I just stopped by to see if you needed anything.

Marge: Well, some general-interest magazines would be nice.

Ned: You got it, Eve. There you go.

Marge: Oh, thanks.Ned: Well, I'd better skedaddle. Oh, there's one more weensy little thing. See that tree over there? I hate to be a bossy Betty, but I have to forbid you to eat its fruit.

Homer: No problem, Lord! And it would be even easier to avoid that temptation if I had a few extra wives.

Marge: grrrr

Homer: Just saying.

***

Live Free or Die Hard

2007-07-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have already dedicated at least two blogs, to New Hampshire's 'Live free or Die' state motto. I think it's pretty neat, and what about the people who choose to die. Well, anyway in America Bruce Willis' fourth installment of DOn Maclaine's adventures, blasted out of the cinema under the title. 'Live Free or Die Hard.' I thought it was classic, and really sums up Maclaine's attitude, he destroys half the city, but god damn he gets results. -I have the Internal Affairs and the DA breathing so far up my ass, that i got smoke coming out my mouth.-

So i guess 'Live Free or Die Hard' is a bit of an americanism, but i think we could have handled it. Instead they must have focus grouped it, to a bunch of the biggest nerds and computer geeks of all time, to come up with 'Die Hard 4.0' what a load of bullshit. I think Australia was up for live free or die hard, not pansy wansy, daffodil, puppy breath, Die Hard 4.0. Shame on you studio executives. They probably thought our tech savvy population would really see the humour in a software program pun. Instead of being kickass, we our left to wonder about the technological age, and how it even sneaks into movie titles.

Quotes:
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
--
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

It goes to eleven

2007-07-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

don't forget to catch the kurri kurri lad, Casey Stoner at this weekends grand prix, i think its the German grand prix. With the aussie flag in his number 27, we can all be proud of this boy who would have spent some time growing up in cessnock. Is there anything cessnock and kurri kurri can't do? Andrew Johns the worlds greatest rugby leauge player is from kurri kurri, or cessnock , i'm not sure , but the point is, im not sure of that either.

Check out the size of this fish. Somehow my labrodor procured it from the pelicans. Since, the flood has gone down there are still pockets of water in the paddocks, which are now home to numerous waterbirds, like pelicans and black swans, and seagulls. And i have seen my labrodors out in the middle splashing around, and i guess Cleo grabbed a fish. Its a big mullet, i don't know where the head is, perhaps she ate it first. She was pretty proud of it, until ratsac stole it from her, and then the Saint Bernard ended up with, after i told ratsac to drop it.

I just have to put a photo of this guy who flew off in his lawn chair, im sure you've all seen it by now, but what a classic. He went 13000 feet, and travelled for nine hours. It takes me back to the days of jumping off the hayshed roof, with crap strapped to my arms, in the hope of flying.

ive been watching House again, after finishing the episodes i turned to the special features which were severally lacking, so im just watching the episodes again. I don't even watch other TV anymore. The other night peopel were talking about something big in the news and i had no idea, but i did recommend they get a trachotome and 50miligrmas of adrenaline stat. On second viewing i'm picking up so much more, like there is a section where Ron Livingston, from office space, i s on some weird moving bed for a test, and house turns it from six to ten, and then asks if it goes to 11, (from 'this is spinal tap'my amplefier goes to 11)
-
and Hugh Laurie who plays House, bought a triumph bonneville to celebrate getting the part of House, and he received his first motorcycle from his father at age 16. So the man is a motorcycle rider, he even rides it to the set. Respect. I feel like Homer, when he was obsessed with Thomas Edison, because Edison could do so much.

2007-07-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is the photo that Toyota used. You can see the water above our windows, and the shed where we stayed. For more than a kilometre surrounding there is water.

---

This black Yamaha r1, is the motorbike i want to get next. And this is the Honda Fireblade that House rides. Yamaha don't make an r1 that has the race colours.

It's an amber coloured shame:

First VB announces this : 'In a move that will save the company up to $10 million a year in tax bills, the alcohol content in VB will drop from 4.9 per cent to 4.8 per cent from August.' 'VB marketing manager Ben Wicks says customers will not even notice the change.
"I think I'd be lynched if we changed the taste of VB," he said.

--that's a whole .1 % drop. So they save tax money, and we have to drink an extra beer to get drunk. So their sales go up.

But the thing that is really strange is the new VB midstrength. with 3.5% alcohol. I thought there was already a carlton midstrength, and VB is brewed by Carlton united breweries, which is a subsidiary of Fosters brewing group. Jroc will know know Fosters, that's what the americans and the rest of the world think we drink, thanks to some brilliant marketing. Anyway, why sully the good name of VB with a pussy beer.

The reason i support VB is because of that bitter bite you get after a swallow, that no other beers have, its vicious, and the PR image is cool too, it's a mans beer. (I remember i didn't even want to be friends with people who drank Tooheys NEW). We all know the ads, 'you can get it shearing a sheep. You can get it milking a cow. You can get it pulling your ute out of the bog, you can get it any old how, as a matter of fact i've got it now. For a hard earned thirst you need a big cold beer, and the best cold beer is Vic, Victoria Bitter.' And they have the inspirational music. That's how i remember it, i might of got some lines wrong. And they show macho blokes in blue singlets working there asses off, and when they knock off they go to the pub and order a schooner of VB. Now who works the ass off pulling a ute out of bog, or sheering a sheep and then goes to the pub to have some pussy ass midstrength beer.

Quotes:

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.--Benjamin Franklin

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.--Homer Simpson

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.--Homer Simpson
Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. --Homer Simpson

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.--Oscar Wilde

/
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.--W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? --W.C. Fields

after these quotes, im going to go have some wine.

House MD

2007-07-03T04:24:00.000-07:00

House just bought a honda repsol race replica motorbike. I'm so impressed. I bought the first season of House on sunday, and today i bought the second season, and am up to the motorbike episode. Even the chick at the checkout said she wishes she coudl just watch house all day, well checkout chick, welcome to my world. A sack of wine, and two seasons of House. The most blissful three days of my life, and i still have the majority of season two to go. Anyway, i prefer yamaha, in particular the R1, which is in direct competition with House's fireblade honda. They are both 1,000 cc, but the r1 just has the styling.

And according to my motorcycle magazines (of which i spent 30bucks on the weekend) you don't want to get a race replica unless you can actually ride, and by ride, i mean corner. I've been riding for about two months now, on the road, and i'm just starting to really lean a decent amount on the corners, i would still be able to lean 70% more, but im going okay. My farm bike is a honda, and i've been riding that aroudn the farm for years, i even took scotty savage to hospital with a grazed hand that he thought was broken. Now that segue, ties me back into my House rant. House is a cripple and just starting to ride, a race replica i will add, and they made sure to close-up on the honda logo, just like they do house's nike shoes. (i just wish toyota made motorcycles, so i could be un-repudiated with a sweet bike. )

Anyway, House bought the bike because some 9year old girl had cancer and made him realize that you can die anytime, and that she was happy with her life, even though she was dying, and House isn't. He took a bike for a spin and loved it. Now, i'm not saying i don't love life or anything, i ride because its awesome, but House finally realized how awesome riding is. And i'm proud of him. Also, i love how there is an Austrlian in House, who actually plays the part of being Aussie, (it's also a giveaway that Hugh who play House, is British, becuase he says Ozzie with a ZZZ not an SSSS like all other yanks, so when he read it in the script he knew what to acutally say. Most yanks see Aussie, so they pronounce it Ossie. ) Anyway , he calle Dr. CHase English, and CHase says 'i'm australian' and House says 'YOu have the queen on your money that's enough for me''. and i watched the bonus features, and they talk about how aussies hate being called english just like canadians hate being called american, and i related it to my time in america (which is good seeing as this blog is called danielinAMERICA) and how 9 out of 10 times i was asked what part of england i was from.

postscript: i have finished the motorcycle episode, and am up to the part where we see House's parents. Now, House is one low down sonuvabitch, and his father caught me completely off guard. The writing for this show is impeccable, i can't fault it, all the way down to the casting of the most low down sonuvabith R. Lee Ermy as House's father. For those who don't know he is the nutsack drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, and has played the same character in many roles since, it just goes to show you can make a career of your fifteen minutes of fame-just lok to big brother. So who would be the best candidate for the father of lowest of the low sonuvabitch on TV, the craziest sonuvabitch that made detective goram (of law and order, i don't know his real name) kill himself in the bathroom block.

Also, i have to put in this photo of Jennifer Morrison. She plays cartman, i mean cameron in House. It was probably after the 15th episode that i actually sat back and went, wow her character is awesome, nd she is hot, perhaps i shoudl study medicine just to meet someone so nice. I think its her character that i like, she is smokin' but not the immediate hottness. To tell you the truth it was only after House said she was gorgeous in an episode, that i was like holy shit House is right. I know, i'm taking way too seriously House's opinion, especially since he is a fictional character. I just love his existential attitude. That's why Fight Club is one of my favourite movies, dealing with all that 'what's it all about' 'wo is me' stuff, and House is a pragmatic example of someone living the no rules thing. Anyway, Dr. Cameron is awesome.

Also speaking of favourite movies, and simmo isn't goign to like this. But Armageddon was my all time favourite movie. Directed of course by Michael Bay, who did Bad boys, and some other stuff, anyway critics always write him off, but fuck them , i cried when Bruce Willis sacrificed himself for Ben Affleck, so he could make his daughter happy. And fuck i loved transformers. (and there are 2 maybe more obvious references to armageddon if you are unabshed fan like myself, and i have not looked on the net for these, the first being explicit when diegetically the viewer hears 'this is way better than armageddon. and later on there is the reference to when Bruce Willis has the list of demands from the astronauts, and they don't want to pay 'ever again', and in transformers--i had it but now i've lost it, anyway Shia Labeouf says 'like never again' he is listing a demand just like in armageddon) moving on..... And i'm not just jumping on the bandwagon, i was into Optimus Prime, back in the 80's. I remember when he didn't have the flame streak and was just blue and red. And he had a tralier, which carried all the other autobots, and he wasn't just a prime mover, (hence the name) and in that trailer was bumblebee and all the others. And i remember when my best friend Luke got the Optimus Prime toy, with the trailer and all, and all i had was bumblebee , and my parents didn't buy it for me, (just like they never bought me reebok pumps, and i had to settle for Lynx) So you can't say i'm not a true fan. And fuck, for a toy that made me so happy, the movie made me just as happy. I don't know what you are thinking Simmo (and i write this knowing only simmo and lachy read this blog) but damn boy, life is one dissapointment after another, and if you look at life, and see what its all about. You come to the conclusion that you expect things from your friends. You expect them to behave in certain ways or do certain things, or anyone for that matter, and when your little preconceived notions are shattered and what you want in life doesn't happen for you, you get all upset and run away. Well, fuck, lower those expectations, because your lucky to be in such a good damn country, and appreciate some mindless entretainment when you see it. Because we are all growing up so damn fast, what's the point in being dissapointed. There is no rationale behind being upset about transformers. They weren't just putting up special effects, and tryign to make money, there was obvious effort there, and i thought the script was quite pleasing. Seriously does it matter if Prime has lips, fucking hell what has the world come to that we sit in our high tech booths looking for any micro point of disagreement to how we think things should be. Because they aren't, and they never will be, and you should just think yourself lucky enough that you can sit in a warm room and enjoy a thoroughly entertainable motion picture.

Chris Benoit is Dead

2007-06-26T16:22:00.000-07:00

Eddie Guerrero's friend is dead. When i first heard about this, i thought that Benoit's family had been murdered, but it turns out he smothered his wife on friday, then killed his son on saturday and then hung himself on sunday. WWE made an announcement saying it couldn't be 'roid rage' because it was a such a determined and premeditated killing. Querrero died in 2005 of heart failure, he had a substance abuse problem, and the first person who was contact was benoit. The whole thing is bizzare, he left bibles next to his wife and son.

But topping the american news was of course the Paris Hilton liberation. Fox News showed uncut footage, from her release, to her trip in an escalade on the highway, followed by a helicopter. The chase went for half an hour, and the hiltons even drove into the hilton hotel to trick the paparazo's. I was just fascinated with quality of american highways, and all the overpasses. Five lane concrete highways. Very Impressive. I think we could definately use some more overpasses in Australia.

I took this photo of the pasha bulker, no doubt some of you will have seen this, but for my american friends, Newcastle is in a state of ecstacy with the arrival of this metal beast on the shores of nobby's beach. I have heard reports that 30,000 people each day flock to the beach to see it. You can clearly see that it would be an ideal place for a flock of specialty shops. You could even sell the penthouse in the captain's quarters. We just need to build some sort of crude bridge to reach the boat.

My parents found this beast while travelling through Queensland. Check out how long the handlebars are.

This is my ride, you can't see but on the other side is a beefy dual chrome exhaust. I'll have to get some highway pegs, for those long cruising jourrneys. I still think the greenies should be all over motorcycling, with my bike being three times as fuel efficient as my car.

Quotes:

Francine: Hi, honey.
Stan: Aw, Francine, Bullock stuck me with another pathetic assignment. I'm in a rut. My career is going nowhere.
Roger: Well, if you need a place to go, how about the market? Oh, and, Francine, FYI: Cheese Nips are not the same as Cheese-Its. Why have a list if you're not going to follow it?
***
Stan: Francine, I don't want to be a pencil pusher. I'm a killing machine.
Francine: Oh, sweetie, I know. Why don't you just talk to your boss and tell him how you feel?Stan: That's perfect! I'll plant a bomb in his office and then diffuse it, so I can prove I've still got it.
***
Steve: Come on, guys, guess who I am!
Hayley: Oh, uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I don't care.Steve: It's Gavin from my algebra class. He's always doing this.
Klaus: Well, you tell Gavin to pay attention. The students in China pay attention, and they outnumber us four to one. The Red Dragon awakens.

live free or die.

2007-06-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

I named this blog after new hampshire's moto. But, nick, i heard now that they are making you guys wear seatbelts, and motorbike helmets.

Swearing Aussies scare off Iranians
Friday Jun 22, 2007
Australian sailors with a "robust attitude" repelled Iranian forces who were attempting to capture them just a month before a British patrol was snared in the same part of Iraq.
---i copied this straight from ninemsn.com, i knew jroc would get a kick out of it.

I will put up a picture of the photo from the newspaper ad, its also in the maitland mercury today. So toyota is using our house, as a way to create brand goodwill. I feel so used and abused. Again there is a full page ad saying how they are so thankful for the ses and police and fire brigade. All of whom did nothing for us.

Anyway, lac, if you look at the photo, you will see that the top shed is surrounded by water, but is dry. So we moved all the stuff from the house up there, and that is where my motorbike generally lives anyway. So its safe. But that shed was surrounded by water from saturday till friday. So i lived in it for six days.

And i see the poetic justice, of a vengful god. On thursday two days before the flood, i made a post saying i should build an arc. And, well, let's just say i should have built the damn arc instead of drinking the whiskey.

Quotes:
'I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!"
***
Meg: Finally, look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna babysit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass.

wow

2007-06-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

wow god hates the hunter at the moment, he is smiting us good.
If anyone wants to know what my house looked like all last week.

On page 14 of today's edition of the newcastle herald, is a full page photo of our farm. Wednesday June 20. Toyota must have bought the photo from someone, because its actually an ad thanking the ses, police and fire brigade. All of whom did nothing to help us whatsoever. Everyone else got evacuated and supplies and what not , and we got fuck all and lived in the hayshed for a week.

Lindsay Lohan is a fire-crotch

2007-06-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

wow, I was hammered in my last blog, it seems very long, and probably very long winded too.

Anyway i searched through my video archives to find a video i took in las vegas, where i was in a cab with some friends and the guy driving looked like the porn king ron jeremy. I can see the footage on my digital camera, but when i plug it into the computer that exact clip and a couple of others dont seem to transfer over. I'll try to fix the problem, because the guy is a crazk up.He talks about the time ron jeremy actually got in his cab while at a porno convention. And how his videos sell well because the men watchign them think wow he is ugly and look at the hot chick he is with, and think i must be able to score that too.

But in the mean time i found a clip of me at the winefields just outside charlottesville virginia, where my college was. I had had quite a few wines, and was pretending to be a connaisseur. You can see the wine stain on my teeth and lips which look black. I think it was my roomate misael recording me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPaN4cInXqs. That is the adress for it. And i have one other clip of everyone pouring into the stadium for a football game, and its crazier than an nrl grand final. But other than that, the other clips are too embarasing. There is a good one of me following a squirell.

Also i think we should gather all the wood we can muster, and start work on an ark. This rain looks pretty set in. I have some old sheets we can use as a sail. And i think instead of two of every animal, we just have a shitload of whiskey and fireworks. Actually screw the ark, i'll just have a shot of whiskey and set off one of the bunga's i found in dad's old leather jacket.

Instant Karma

2007-06-05T05:47:00.001-07:00

wow what to do after the celebrations of my 126 post glory.

i know, i'll bloviate andexpound on many issues ravagin my mind today.

At first I was a liberal. That’s little l liberal. (in australia for my yankee readers the Liberal party is actually the conservative party, they are considered the liberal party because they are for a free market place, just as the labour party is for a free country)

Perhaps it was from my parents, or the PC culture of the curriculum in class. But, I was taught humanity is a group effort, and no one should be left behind. I used to listen simon and garfunkle and john lennon records, just as I’m listening to lennon now. Mother is my favourite song of all time. The ambivalence of being a parent or a child. It’s such a huge emotion, and somehow lennon wxpressed it in 3 minutes. So after feeling the love, I turned around 18 and saw that some people can do bad things, and you have to watch out for yourself in this harsh world. And it just seems like some people seem to have more to offer to society than others. So I turned to thinking that perhaps my parents aren’t right, and perhaps the survival of the fittest is true. So that led me to believing in conservative economic theory, where, lke magaret thatcher says, ‘I will not let the socialist taxes affect the enterprise of those who want to succeed.’ I could see that some people just offer more, they are smarter or whatever, and they shouldn’t have to carry the whole weight of those who don’t have shit to offer and sniff petrol all day. I mean obviously some tax benefit needs to go the poor, but to create a socialist paradise where everyone starts to have equal footing in the ultimate eyes of the liberal, I just couldn’t then see any motive for success. Like taking it to the extreme, in communism, where is the benefit for someone to invent something, if there is no economic will. Because you might as well be a janitor, if you are not going to gain royalties and such for your invention. But that is an obvious extreme.

And the reason why I write this blog, is because a little of my hippy side has re-emerged. But the rational mind still rules. But as a culmination, perhaps you can then see why I support the iraq war. As a pursuit that puts every person on the same level, and the same right to a freedom. An idealogical world of happiness, how absurd that sounds is my goal. A world where anyone can grow up and have the same privileges and education and etc, as myself. And I also see that world in rational terms as something that has to be worked hard for, really fucking hard. So, anyway that is why I believe the things I do. And watching a biography on margaret thatcher tonight has sort of re ignited my political flame. It’s like when yo uhear music and yo ujust know that that is who you are, well I hear some of the shit thatcher said, and it just is me. I believe that within certain boundaries one should be able to have limitless expression of their economic and spiritual dreams. Which ultimately leads to a few, and those few being resented. I would like to outline my vision of a stable country but I fear that would go too far. It would be a very existential, yet family oriented view of the world. But all that is bullshit, you can only see the world for what it is, and I see the world as needing a big hug. Right now I’m up to track 7 on my lennon album, love is needing love, lennon freaking rules.

Anyway, also i was watching australias next top modelt he finale and it sucks, freaking alice won. The girl who blew in from a strong southerly. Wow, and what on earth was ian thorpe doing there, the dude quit right before beijing, for some unknown reason, wait I have the reason, he is gay (not to take away from gay readers) he quit swimming right before a big event to go into the world of fashion, and he talks more like a fag than anyone ive ever heard. Seriously thorpe, yo uquit swimming, for fucks sake, and stone the crows (I bet my american readers don’t know what stone the crows is) just come out. Who quits a certain gold medal at the 2008 games to join a freaking fashion show, ill tell you, a stereotypical flaming queer like ian thorpe. I don’t care, just be who yo uare thorpey. I could tell when he chose another model over steph h, when no bloke in their right mind would choose any girl over steph or anika whom they describe as having the face of an angel and the body of sin. Now im listening to working class man, now I loved this song way before last week when greenday did a cover to highlight the suffering in darfur, and now I mention it I have never highlighted that suffering, which I would like to highlight now.

Its hard to come up with an answer, because any answer means taking the side of one of the four or so factions, which means condoning what they have done, and that is why greenday take the cop out of just saying lets send the UN in as mediators, which means it will be like iraq. And iraq might work but it will take a lot of bloodshed, it has taken 0.1% of the american armed services so far, that is 3,000 in 3 million troops which would be 54 australian troops on the same percentile of us having a total of 54,000 troops. And also take into consideration that 70% of American deaths are from improvised explosive devices. IED’s. And that in a vehicle that is equipped for it, I forget the name, but it isn’t a the over loaded humvee, it is the apc or something, and it is designed to take such blasts without fatalities, so already, if the yanks had those, WHICH THEY COULD, they would only have 30 % of their current deaths. They are trying to rush 7000 to the battlefield now, but fuck how late do they want to be. They have the worlds eyes on them, and all they do is put extra plating on the humvees’ which weighs them down and doesn’t do shit against IEDs. So imagine if they had vehicles like the australians. Our blokes got hit the other and no one died , yet if they were in a humvee they would have died. See they have a ‘v’ shaped hull as opposed to humvees flat shape, and the v deflects the blast. So fucking hell america, I think if you’re going to do it, do it fucking right. How long does it take to realize the threatof IED’s and then protect the troops. You’ve had four years and only now are yo rushing in with the new vehicles. That’s funny I should be writing about this, while ‘all we are saying is give peace a chance’ is playing on my lennon cd. He wrote it on his bed in. And only a year later, during a vietnam protest did it catch on. Anyway, I have had too many ports to remember what I was talking about, so screw you all.

And i want to let everyone know that i have a big, and i mean big post about the afterlife coming up. So anyone interested in death, or what happens when our heart stops, or if a heaven exists, please stay tuned.

126!!

2007-06-01T01:53:00.001-07:00

this is my family crest, i want to get it tattooes on my right shoulder. (It's rath lubans in the forrest. ) The big black dog is significant in a lot of things, and the latin term 'fidus et audax' means: 'faithful and bold'. I think that suits.

There are so many weird ones--

Shaughnessy's latin thing is 'the hour flies'

Sinnott is 'without spot,'

this one funny sackvill 'Either do not attempt, or complete. '

the only one of my friends with an irish name that i know of is nathan handley, there is 'hanley' whose latin translation is 'The valiant archer forever.'

'fortune favors the bold' is for dooley.

wow, 126 posts. I would like to celebrate this anniversary of blogging, by writing a totally pointless blog, and by indulging in a glass of port. There are those who knew i wouldn't make it in the blogging world, they thought i would be lucky to make 123 posts, but here i am. Wow, 126 posts, don't they go by in aflash. I would also like to know how times i have inadvertantly quote 'meet joe black,' like i did just now. Anthony Hopkins says on his 65th birthday bash, '65 years, dont they go by in a blink,'.

i also have to mention, that my first 'the view' episode i watched, and blogged about, was actually rosie's last. Hasselbeck gets the last laugh. Excellent. Besides being hot, Hasselbeck doesn't subscribe to irrationality or an over indulgence in cake.

Donald Trump is going of the scale at the news of rosie's retirement from discourse. He did an interview from his own trump towers, and not only did he did he tell Greta from fox news, that her inquiry to the price of trump towers was foolish because she couldn't aford it, he called bush stubborn, and hasselbeck (who you would think he would love because she went against rosie) he said was the dumbest person on TV. This was nothing to the diatribe on Rosie, but still, i was shocked to see the man seperate himself from pretty much everyone, both politically and socially. Perhaps success has swollen his brain, or perhaps that is the very reason he is succesful, a pure unadulterated self love, that has caused him to scale the economic ladder.

I always wondered why people don't stop at the 10 million mark in gaining wealth, and once they reach 1 billion, they seem to keep going. If i had 1/5000000 of trump's money, i would buy harley davidson's for all my friends, pay them what they would normally get at work, and head out around australia, for the trip of all freaking life time.

also, i hope steph h, takes out austrlia's next top model, there are two girls left, alice and steph, and steph was my tip from the very beginning, along with anika, who made it to the top four. Perhaps i should be an agent, for chicks. I can pick the right ones, i was harping on about scarlet johansen back in the days of 'ghost world',. and now look at her, the woman of the freaking moment, and so will steph h. And so too will be the glory of 'callaghan chick talent agency. '

anyway let the 126 posting celebrations roll forward....

Quotes:

Peter: If I were half the parent Brian is I would know that Chris's favorite ice cream is...

Brian: Chocolate chip.

Peter: And I'd know that Stewie's favorite bedtime story is...

Brian: Good Night Moon.

Peter: And I'd know that Meg's real father is...

Brian: Stan Thomson.

***

Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!

Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour.

Mmm, ham

2007-05-27T18:47:00.000-07:00

This is ridiculous, what is going on with this pig? This 11 year kid killed it with a pistol, a few weeks back. I came across it while i was watching fox news the other day, the kid's dad has even set up a website about it.

www.monsterpig.com

It's awesome hopefully this kid will be able make a career out of selling merchandise. I would pay at least 15 bucks to see the carcass. And a bottle opener to say i've seen it, that would be pretty cool. And think of how many leather wallets are in him.

This is a quote from the monsterpig.com website:

'The feral hog is definitely one of the biggest, if not the biggest ever taken by an 11 year old and Jamison is now looking for a big shotgun and hoping Dragons are real.'

'the biggest ever taken by an 11 year',gee whiz how big do they get. Imagine what size hog, a 13 year old could take down. Make sure you email the kid and congratulate him, i'll email him and see if he leaves a comment on this blog.

There is a movie being made about hogzilla, which is the biggest hog ever found, and Jamison the kid in the above pic has been offered a role.

I'm going to get my air rifle, and go see what i can get.

Hey mom there's something in the bathroom, hope it's not the creature from above.

2007-05-24T05:34:00.000-07:00

Jesus is my friend on myspace. I have truly made it in the world of the interweb. So if anyone needs some spiritual favours, or just redemption in general i'll see what i can i can pull. I mean i have put him at number 7 on my friends list, so there are several mortals ahead of him. I liken him to more of a south park jesus, where he just runs a talk show, and hopefully has elizabeth hasselbeck as a guest host.

I watched the view today, i have flicked on to it before, seeing as it's on the 'w' women's network i don't generally pay any attention to what is screening, anyway i flicked on the other day and saw poor little elizabeth berated by the firebreathing lesbian rosie oddonel, the one who thinks george bush planned to blow up the trade centres. she said something along the lines of 'the buildings are steel, do you think steel can just burn'... hmm, how do we make steel again rosie, oh that's right we melt it and smelt and belt the shit out of it.

-to digress for a moment, it seems entirely possible that people like to think up conspiracy theories that involve the government planning shit, and hiding aliens and shit, when really they have more of a managerial role, without as much competence as it would take, to commit these conspiracy theories... but it seems comforting for people to think of an all knowing all powerful government because it gives someone to blame, and some sort of order in the world, like a safety net, that even if you think the government is nefarious, at least they are powerful and are on our side, as opposed to a world outside order which entails a higher risk acceptance in general life.

so i watched a bit more of the view today, and some other chick on the panel was ganging up with rosie against elizabeth, and they finally cut to a commercial break, then they came back and alicia silverstone was there talking about the vegan way.. 'just like, you know, like, just don't even look at a cow..' so my brief interlude of watching the view has come to an end.

also i mentioned before about being hesitant to rent Eragon. I rented it and watched it with my old man, and had some red wines, and had the time of my life. I loved it. Especially since the day before, on american chopper they had made the eragon bike, and jeremy irons and the kid, visited paulie and paul snr, at their shop to make designs for the kickass chopper. Since i've been riding, ive noted a lot more of that sweet cash in wallet, my allowance can really stretch the whole week now, alcohol included.

But i've cut down on that too. I haven't been hammered enough to vomit for over a month now. It took a lot of effort, seeing as i was getting totally plastered, to point of vomiting pretty much every second day since returning from the states, a trend that i started way back in june 06 on the contiki tour, and continued when i met the bad influence jroc, lol, living in the same dorm complex. The cut down was actually really simple, mum voiced concerns that my old man was drinking to much, and see i can fly under the radar, because im a high functioning drunk, but between me and my old we were going through at least 3 cases of wine every fortnight. So we just stopped getting it. Problem solved.

Quotes:

Lunchlady Dorris- 'more testicles means, more iron.'

4 beers...

2007-05-20T03:19:00.000-07:00

fours beers is the magic number for Randy, before he does something stoopid. People who watch my name is Earl will know what i'm talking about. Earl is probably the best show i have ever seen. The other day i was at the video store, and one of the few movies i hadn;t seen was eragon, so i was standing there, wondering whether or not i was too old to watch some kid and some dragon save some world, when i saw the tv section next to it. And there was Earl, it was like karma or something, Carson Daley must have sent me on that path. Anyway i rented the first dvd which had the first seven episodes, and damn.... i haven;t laughed that hard for years, and i'm probably the most laughing guy i know, i will laugh at anything, but Earl, damn... so these past couple of days, i've been hopping on my sweet ride, my motorcycle, and heading down to video ezy to rent the next installment of Earl. I sit the dvd snug in my jacket for the trip home, mount my metal stead and ride.... It's awesome to watch them one after the other with no adds or any bullshit.

And tonight i watched the one where they thought the y2k had taken over, and they were living in the department store, and they each took over a certain section of the store, it was an absolute classic. Reminiscent of lord of flies, where they have the big shell to talk, instead on Earl they have the numbered ticket machine. The funniest part was when Joy (jamie presley. oh man she is smokin' i always thought she was the hottest chick in the world, but she was only in 'not another teen movie' and then some other b grade movies like 100girls , its been awesome to have her in my living room every night, i would gladly live in a tralier and be white trash to be with her) anyway, joy who is played by jamie presley took over the cosmetics sections, and earl had the snackfood section, and some crazy friend of theirs had the tv section, and earl wanted some antiindegestive pills, and joy said only if you give me a tv, and earl said, 'but i live in snackfoods, i can't give you a tv.' wow that was belated, but if you watch that episode you'll know what i mean.

I've probably had the best week of my life, riding around on my motorbike, and Jroc i don't have the leathers, but i have a cool regular jacket with kevlar armour to stop the abrasion in case i have a spill, it wont stop the mack truck crushing me, but it will stop the gravel rash... My gloves are leather, with kevlar inserts, and i have a fully encosed helmet, plus an open helmet like the dudes on the harley;s in the bikie gangs. It's funny, because all the other motorbike riders nod at me on their way past, today a carzed looking guy on a harley with a bandana nodded at me. It's freaking awesome. And i know it's a cliche, but damn, i really feel like i'm part of the world or something when i ride, it's like you notice everything, and you feel everything. And whenever i have to go somewhere it's no longer a chore because i love the trip. And i've done over 400km on my new bike wihtout being killed, so , so good so far.

Tonight i had a few wines, and i'm out, and i thought i had nothing left, which has happened a lot, but for some reason tonight i walked past my bar, and saw my hipflasks, and i thought, hmmm. maybe... and damn,,, i pick up the first one and there is a decent shot of whiskey in there, sure it's been there for about six years, (and i haven't found it before, i have been desperate for alcohol and never found it!) but tonight for some reason i picked up the hipflask that shelley gave me for my 21st and i used it like a week later, and it had some whiskey! it was like finding some buried treasure.. did you hear about that odessey ship finding the biggest treasure ever?? it's like half a billion american dollars of colonial coins. But im happy with my whiskey find, so im24 and 21 thats 3 years old then..

also this weird
http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:UPMUO6TrezMJ:www.universityupdate.com/SEC/Georgia/2119561.aspx+danielinamerica&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=24&gl=au
georgia tech have my blog, how bizarre?

let's ride.....

2007-05-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

I got my motorcycle licence last week, and today i pick up my new bike from the dealer. This is a picture of it. It's a v twin 250 yamaha. On my way home from the dealer i'll call into the Gladiators and see if they want me to join. I know i'm about 1200cc's short of power, and it's a jap bike, but the styling is there. And there is a designated bike park area at university which is free to park in. So no more looking for a spot and no more 3buck parking. With the insurance, i was hoping to get the over 25 break next year, but the bar has been raised to 30!! So now you're considered expensive to insure until you're 30! Damn fatcats in sydney. But at least i'll get about 25km per litre, as opposed to 10km per litre in my car. So we should all be riding bikes to save the environment, and save some cash. It's all about the sweet cash.

This bike can do 130km/hr on the highway, so in a year or so, it might be perfect for my around Australia trip, but then again i was just looking at the harley website and for 11 grand you can get an 883 sportster brand spankin' new. And then the Gladiators will be sure to accept me.

Australia's model: In next top model they are down to four girls, and two of them are the the two that i selected right from the start. Anika and Steph H. Although i'm starting to think Jordan has a chance, even though she looks weird, when she is on the catwalk, she really shines. And witling wallflower Alice; she looks like she has just walked out of the forest, spending her days picking daisies and daffodils. A strong southerly would blow her away, but that's what you get when you don't eat anything that casts a shadow. They complain about her lack of energy, someone should shove a half kilo steak down her gullet, a bit of protein would get that girl going. And poor old paloma, i loved it how she has been in the bottom two for the past three weeks, and they kicked her out, and she said. 'I guess they knew i was just too good at everything.'

Quotes:

Krabappel: All right, class, today we'll be sitting quietly in the dark because teacher has a hangover. Ugh -- like a chainsaw in my head!

Nelson: Sweet Hog, Mr. Simpson.

Homer: Remember to rebel against authority, kids!

Skinner: Don't listen to him, children.

Milhouse: But we already did. Now I can't get it out of my head!

[Nelson whaps him with a book]

Krabappel: Thank you, Nelson.

***

Homer: Yeah, that's the life for me, Marge. Cruising and hassling shopkeepers.

Cop: When will you teens learn to be uncool like everyone else?

Jimmy: Never, pops.

Homer: That's right -- never!

Jimmy: You can arrest me, but you'll never defeat the Cobras. Nothing can defeat a motorcycle gang!

Homer: A gang -- that's the answer!

Lisa: Answer to what?

Homer: Hey, don't make me hassle you, Lisa.

***

Homer: Hello, police? Can you send a SWAT team to 742 Evergreen Te --

Wiggum: Forget it, Simpson. Those pig noises you made really hurt my feelings, looking like a pig as I do.

Homer: But you have so much inner beauty.

Wiggum: Well, uh, be that as it may, ah, the gang is wanted in eight other states and we have a little saying around here: Let Michigan handle it.

***

Homer: ... and the bikers saw the hard look in my eye -- you know that hard look I get sometimes -- and they ran away like schoolgirls, with their tails between their legs.

Bart: Way to go, Dad. Hey, where's the food?

Lisa: And why aren't I at school?

Homer: Yeah, someone really dropped the ball here. Marge? Marge?

Who wants to be a ninja?

2007-05-07T16:09:00.000-07:00

I begin my two day motorcycle course this afternoon, so by thursday after a trip to the RTA ill be legally allowed to ride. All i need now is a motorcycle.

Anzac Day

2007-04-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

The whole of newcastle turned out to the cricketers arms for a bit of two up action, including that bald guy marty from one of the australian idol cycles, and paloma from the current australian model series. The pit was full, and i raised my hand in the air with a ten dollar bill to bet on heads. Goods time, i wa sup forty bucks and then down, and then up again and then finally i broke even. Earlier in the day i got to see all the anzac day services from greta to lambton while on delivery for Roscos ice cream.

Im still looking for a sweet ride to travel around australia. I figure, if you only have to have you L plates for three months, on a 250cc, and then take the provisional test. If you can step up the CC on your p plates, i wont even have t0 start with a 250cc bike, because i know how to ride on my dirt bike, and ill just borrow a 250 cc bike for the p plate test. But the RTA will probably screw me over and ill have to stay on 250cc for a few years, bastards. But if not i can go straight to a fat boy harley davidson. 1100cc... i can feel the power already.

Danny boy, the pipes are calling.

2007-04-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

The hammer drilling of the pipes. Each pipe is line with several layers of reinforced steel, so hitting that isn't fun when the drill spins and hits you in the face.

\

Rath Lubans. He is a big boy.

You can see the metal box used to keep the sides of the well intact when you hit water. The sides of the metal box are four metres down, and you can see one of the pipes being lowered into position. After which, a load of gravel is dropped around the outside of it, to filter the soil from getting into the pipe, and then the big metal box is lifted out. It ended up being about 11 metres deep. With 4 metres of water.

Quotes:

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!

Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!

Homer: Explain how!

Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Homer: Look everyone! Now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows.

Marge: Homer that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket.

Homer: Incorrect, Marge. Two perfectly good jackets!

Homer: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?

Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.

Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Virginia in my mind. Jroc and the gang, the younger apartments, matt, jamie, kelly, gloria....... sadly it's a lifetime ago

2007-04-21T05:08:00.000-07:00

It seems that we all love to watch a celebrity fall, and that is verified by tabloid sales. I wonder what it is? I was listening to the beatles earlier, hey jude and let it be, and there is so much wisdom in those songs, that it can't be possible for the creator to be a regular human who goes through a messy divorce. Or even pop celebrities, who appear so perfect, how could they possibly want to shave their head shaved because they are depressed. We have raised them on such a pedestal of how ones life should be.

But, then there are people like Bono, who just seem to care so much about things in life. He wants to help everyone out. He is a person who can see that some people suffer under the hands of others, and he chooses to speak out against that, even though people might get tired of his humanitarian work or whatever, just like angelina jolie, perhaps it's only a luxury you find when you have enough wealth not to think about bills? or perhaps they are kind people, who can't handle the suffering in the world.

And it's more than i can say for myself, in Bono's shoes, i can see myself buying the best harley davidson and the best ferrari there is. I would buy a whole heap of land to create a rainforest, but i wouldnt go to any lengths like Bono or whoever does. Perhaps it's a factor of youth, jolie didn't do shit 'till she was 30 and same with bono. My point is, that some people seem to care so much for the world, and i really respect that.

I watched Gattaca earlier tonight, one of my favourite movies, and it got me thinking again that art is great, because what it does is; take the insumountable moments in life, and put a frame around them, so we can try to hold on and cherish at least one moment or one emotion, which are bound for nothingness. Because our life extinguishes so quickly, and it's hard to keep track of all the beautiful moments you have. I was thinking back to my usa trip earlier, and all the beautiful people i met, and all the friends i made, and now they are just a few neurons in my brain, never to be re-lived. And it seems to end so freaking quickly, like i thought 7months in the usa would last an eternity, but now that is over and i have been home for four months before i can even scratch myself. It just moves so damn quick, and when we can hear a song or watch a movie or read a book that seems to capture some pure beauty, it seems like life stands still for a second and we can reach out and feel and touch watch isn't normally there for us to touch. But then it also sad, because it ends, Gattaca finished, and the emotions i was feeling, faded after about ten minutes, and normality came back. So, i have reckoned with myself that art gives you an escape, that is really worthwhile, i always knew that, it's just now i have now just realized how temporary everything is, and how the things we aim for come and go before we can appreciate them. I can also see now my many faults, i always saw them, but now i know that they are just who i am, i can work on some parts of myself, but in todays world of self help we are all trying to be the perfect person , the politically correct person, the wise person, all that BS, why cant we realise our limits and move forward. I am shit at aommunicating with my friends, and i can work on myself, but i will probably always be that way, and many others faults i have.. but people today seem so scared to admit they are wrong, they are too perfect to have any defect, i say we should embrace our faults, we can work on certain aspects of our lives, but there are so many things which are just us and we cant do anything to change that so we should feel happy for being that.

Anyway, I just got my motorbike going again. And it has made me remember how free i felt whilst riding. So, i will anounce now --that i am going fo rmy licence, and i will ride around australia when i graduate. And after Jroc visits ozland, and hopefully becomes a citizen. Dude you'll love it!!! Our friendship is gold, because it's based on so many opposites, like i always heard that your soulmate is only someone who challneges you, and i think that our friendship has that, because even after four months away from virginia, i find myself thinking, hmm what would jroc think. You spout some wisdom, that makes me think, in particular your tolerance to other cultures and stuff. Just like Bono.

I love the show american chopper, and i have been painting up my old bike like its a chopper, and i was going to do a before and after shot, but i forgot to take the before pic. So ill just do the after pic, it was a crappy old ag bike , but im giving it a white undercoat and i will paint blue over it and some tape and peel the tape back, to have white pin stripes, like a mustang.

Quotes:
There are no quotes this blog. Only my thoughts of those shot at VT.

Hokies

2007-04-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

Another sensless shooting. The hokies are UVa's nemesis in football, but at times like this you can only feel sorry for those involved in such a tragedy.

Goodbye easter bunny

2007-04-15T02:20:00.000-07:00

On saturday it is sad to say i shot the easter bunny with a double barrel shotgun. Mother, ran over the little fellow while mowing, this is the giant mower behind a tractor, and maimed it. I grabbed the shotty and put two shells in, i was thinking i would only need one, but luckily i loaded two, because the first shot kind of made more damage, but the second shot took off its skull JFK style. I have had to put stuff down before, and it always sucks. For the rest of the day i was seeing the image of it being shot replaying in my mind.

--The worst time i put something down, was a dog that was hit on our property, and morris was going to pull the trigger, but the dog looked identical to his, so i had to do it. Anyway we buried it in a far too shallow grave near one of the sheds, and several days later my labrodors dug it up, and the head ended up in our yard. When burying a body you need a deep hole.

--Another bad time, was when i was about ten and looked out the window and saw a fox attacking my prize rooster. The rooster was a giant and fended off the fox, but ended up with a mortal wound. So i was too young to find the big axe, i only had my tomohawk, and i put egors head on a block of wood, and swung... This was a giant fighting rooster, so the first chop just hacked at his neck, and i was crying and trying to how Egor, and swing.. he started walking away and i had to keep hacking.

--My best execution was a fox that was caught in an acient bear trap. I couldn't believe it, my grandfather has some antiques, and one was a giant bear trap, and he actually set it in one of our sheds-one of my dogs could have easily been caught- anyway as soon as i found out i went over to get rid of it, and there was a fox caught. I blew it out in one shot, i can still see it clearly.

Hopefully i wont have to do any more for a while.

Quotes: Family Guy

Peter: There's only one thing to do - learn the language of the fleas, earn their trust, and breed with their women. And in time our differences will be forgotten.

Chris: Oh, I hate vegetables.
Lois: Honey, they're good for you.
Chris: Oooh, they taste like a monkey, a monkey that's past its prime.

STEWIE That's it, time for doggie to go the way of Old Yeller!
LADY Old Yeller, did I get a call from Tony?
OLD YELLER Oh yeah, he left a message I forgot to tell you.
LADY Is it on the machine?
OLD YELLER I erased it.
LADY [sigh], Alright [Cocks Gun] Out back.
KID No ma', yeller's my dog, I'll do it…
OLD YELLER Come on, He'll call back!

Prison vs Work

2007-04-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Prison vs Work:

IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON: You get three meals a day.
AT WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK: You get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK: You must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK: you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK: They are called managers.

-i noticed they didn't mention the sodemy, which kind of negates all the benefits of prison!

model

2007-04-01T02:08:00.000-07:00

i think Anika should win australia's next top model. And after that Steph (i think thats the right name) and also, i think Cassandra is the hottest, but not the best to be a model. And i'm glad that the mary kate and ashley olsen clone got eliminated, the only other person i want eliminated now is that chick from out west who cusses and speaks like a derro. And paloma is a bit of a weirdo, oh and that chick that always looks angry-angry young girl. So go Anika, the chick who looks like a hot librarian. Glasses is the way to go.
This concludes my model predications, thank you for reading. I know at least one reader (kim) would be interested.

the damn well

2007-03-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

the god damn Well, will , hopefully be done by monday, It has already been done before , (but it turned out not deep enough, and not enough holes drilled) and ive spent the past two weeks jackhammer drilling god damn holes, and tonight simmo showed his intestinal fortitude , and put himself amongst some of the toughest blokes i know, by signing on to such an endevour, and going at it full throttle. The man can work, he can work hard. And he proved it tonight. When you feel tired and fucked, sometimes there is just some shit that needs to be done, and simmo did it, he proved that he should be on my list of people who i would go to the end of the earth for... because there is not many people , at all, who would do what simmo did.

Anyway, i was going to do the T1 terminator review, but i watched about 10 minutes of it the other day, and realized i was tooo drunk, and i think i walked out of the living room, but i was hammered so i dont know, but i remember it beiong kind of dark, and not dark as in the plot or content, but the production had poor lighting, even though it is an awesome movie and an awesome idea by mr james cameron, i cant get past that whole darkness -by production- feel, but perhaps when i am sober it will hold my interest, or maybe i just cant see arnie as a bad guy.. because i think bladerunner is too dark too, production wise.. i love the premise of blade runner, but the 80's treatment, to me, doesn't do it justice. That's me, but you could listen to Mr.Villari and be enticed to thinking its the bes movie ever, and possibly it is.

anyway i have a bandage on my right index finger (on account of me trying to show simmo how to drill holes, and sticking my finger in an open fan!! not a good result) but hopefully in the morning i will be healed, and after some beer who cares if its severed or not, the point is .. simmo worked his ass off.

my quote today is, by me, something that said, yep, and i said "avril is hot in her new clip" amd i stand by that quote. I think she is hot in "girlfriend"

terminator 2

2007-03-24T03:18:00.000-07:00

T2 is a terrific movie. Wow, i was just blown away. But also i have to note how impressed i was with the Special Effects. Un freaking believable for 1991--plus it has a gunners tune!!! any movie with an original guns and roses tune is alright by me. But geeze louise it was a great story, and it was allowed to unfold naturally, and had nearly as many american 'sitcom' moments as t3, which everyone belittled. Now tomorrow , i will again watch T1(yes ive been watching them achronologically, but all the magic adds up!) but back to T2 , wow what a feast for the eyes, even though the film is 16years old. Now granted the SFX was awesome, but very limited, like you think the T1000 by your memory has a huge part, but looking now at the film the t1000 is barely in it. And by the standards of 91 it was a huge achievement, which stilll stacks up to the testament of time by today's outrageous CGI standards. And the only downfall is the number of SFX shots not the quality, because every SFx shot there is, is freaking awesome. And that is just terrific because is shows that even my generation of "immediate pleasers" is able to enjoy something nearly 20years old, at almost the same level as one of today's movies.

And T2 has some incredible themes. The part where Schwarzenegger is talking to the boy (furlong) at the gas station where Sarach C
onnor has her weapons stashed, and she does the voice over, which talks about how the "machine" will always be there for him, and wont leave him like his real dad, and will even give his life for him. Wow, that shows more "humanity" than most humans, and it shows how what we think of consciousness, and what it is to exist. That whole two minute sequence highlights man's biggest philosophical concerns, and it offers some answers, albeit fictional. Now, is the biologicl father who disavows knowledge of a son, more of a 'being' than a robot who will go to any lengths to protect that son. And i say 'being' because we all get caught up in what it is to be "human" that we forget that maybe it is what it is to be a "being" which allows us to choose. Everyone is so caught up with what it is to be human, that with such a statement we forget what it is to be a "being" which can encompass much, much more.

For instance, if any of you reading this have ever had a dog or a cat, and you can safely predict what their actions will be , because you know their "personality" and how such a "personality" will react in such a situation. (like going to a new place to feed, not a learned place, but somewhere completely new and unpredictable, but i guess they know to follow you.. damn )So i put forth, right now, that we not overdiscuss what it is to be "human" but we discuss to great lengths what it us to be a "being" and hopefully a rational one. And this discussion can go forth with the movie T2, which examines how we define a "being" external to ourselves. Like, just because its parts are made of metal, should it be less superior to a human being????? And just because those metal parts have achieved their mission they should be destroyed (a mission which we have programmed, then it is no longer uselful apart from cleaning the yard.)--and then we can ask the extension of that point is:

- take a robot who is programmed to save any human life--and a human who is a psychopath who kills often. Now who should survive? and who is acting the most "human" or who is acting like a rational "being" ? Does it feel inherent in your psyche to think that the robot is doing more "good" for society, than the psychopath who only wants to kill people. But, then you must realize that the psychopath has biological organs, and the robot is programmed by what we think is good. So, yes it feel like the robot is doing a good thing. .... But then what if th robot is prgrammed by a psychopath, lol, forget that, forget it all, because you're all ass holes... (you know i can't have a drunken blog wihtout being offensive.)

But anyway i hope everyone has had a great day, and everyone is having a great saturday night.. I know i am, but that still doesn't mean i don't have to wake up and drill holes in concrete tubes.

Quotes: Family Guy

Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.
**
Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!
***
Meg Griffin: Listen to me. My entire future is in your hands.
Mayor Adam West: Are you Sarah Connor?
Meg Griffin: No, I'm Meg Griffin.
***
Mayor Adam West: Oh, God. I love this song. And I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics. But I hate baseball cards.
***
Mayor Adam West: Well, this is odd
Peter Griffin: What?
Mayor Adam West: I've never encountered anything like this before... but your property doesn't seem to be on the map. It's not part of Quahog.
Peter Griffin: What the hell are you talking about, i've been living at 31 Spooner Street for 12 years.
Mayor Adam West: Sorry, but according to this map, you are not even a part of these United States, which would make you...A COMMUNIST!
Peter Griffin: AH!
Mayor Adam West: AH!
***
Mayor Adam West: Quiet young man, can't you see we are having a poker game. Now, I'll ask again. If I order a pizza, will anyone else have some?
Mark:I might have a slice.
Mayor Adam West: Well, you know, I'm going to need more of a commitment than that Mark...

terminator 3

2007-03-22T03:04:00.000-07:00

i don't care what you idiots think. I love terminator 3. I know it's not as 'serious' in certain parts, and perhaps in some parts, yes, yes it does play to an audience with generic american 'sitcom' humour. But you can all go and get fucked. I just knocked off from jackhammer drilling holes in a concrete pipe all day, which i have done yesterday, and tomorrow and the day after that, and there is nothing better than knocking off, having a few brews and watching some awesome action. And T3 delivers, it doesn't have some emotional bullshit that might win an oscar, and it doesn't have the serious sci fi shit that probes so deep it appeals to star trek junkies. No, it just has some good old action with a few laughs, and a few really deep thoughts about the nature of existence.

So if you don't like this movie ill meet you in the carpark, and we can fight about it, and this time i've been doing some serious weight training with the jackhammer and concrete!!!lol, anyway, see the point is, everyone, and by everyone i mean the other people who think are movie buffs and think that every movie should enlighten them, and all that jazz. I'm talking about people who think their choice of movies is so superior than other people that they are actually better people for choosing that movie, and thats a load of bullshit. Because its all just a few images on the screen, and i think t3 did a great job of taking me far away from the drudgery of daily life (drilling holes) and into a fantastical wonderland of being a hero and saving the earth. lol. (laughing out loud)

Movie critics seem to want some base human instinct in every movie, they seem to want some glimpse into what life is really about, they seem to want to be able to watch a flickering image on a screen for 90 minutes and say , wow! that's humanity! wow, that is everything that i think life is about; and everything with which i approve life is about so therefore i endorse this movie, because it has reached what i feel as a reasonable representative of life and the emotions with which i feel. Bullshit, And fuck them, the idiots, they should go and actually live life, and not try and express everything that life is about; vicariously through some image on the screen. We all know life is painfull, and there are losses, but fuck ---does every single movie have to represent that???????????? Lets have some fun....

Because as Johnny Cash says in 'boy named sue' he says: 'life is tough and if you're gonna survive you gotta be tough.' Yet all these damn movie critics, have their food brought to them on a platter and they sit around judging other peoples art based on what type of life they want portrayed in front of them. I say, if i knock off from actually working (not just pencil pushing; but doing real shit which affects the phyisical world) and then i enjoy an escape, and fuck you movie critic for trying to deminish that experience. And fuck you movie critic for trying to say what life is-- and should be about on the screen, and then forcing that 'life' onto me with your stoopid thumbs up system!!!

I say, we should have some some fun withour popcorn flicks which let us actually release from the drudgery of life. But we find critics applauding movies which drag us through the emotional turmoil, and make us relive the terrible moments in our life, or in our imagined life. That's fine for some, but i like and escape and so do the majority of people (that is why armageddon is a blockbuster, and crash didn't make much money) so i say we should applaud those movies who allow people to be free of humanly shgackels for a moment, i say roll around in a greasy triumph at letting people who have real jobs feel free for a moment, and lets not give way to the negative and pessemistic movie critic who thinks every feeling he/she has --- should be culminated into some grand point on the screen.

Okay onto somthing else. I wish i had of filled out my voting registration, so i could vote in this weekends state election. See i told Jroc and many others in the USA that we have a compulsory voting system, which we do, but for some reason im off the grid. Anyway i would definately vote for the shooters party because im looking to get a .243 , but besides that i would as far right as i can, because i know people on the left vote for parties that support the aclu, which condons nambla, and fuck, that just makes me sick, for people who don't know in the usa there is an organization in the usa called nambla which stands for the north american man boy love association. And the aclu, (american civil liberties union) ---its a union need i say more--- won't to defend their right to 'free speech' even though the group openly prescribes to ideas that permit adult men having relations with young boys, the whole thing is sick and anyone in nambla should be shot, but noooo, the aclu and people on the left feel that that would impose on free speech to stop the nambla people from advocating such atrocities. The whole thing is ridiculous. Freedom doesn't mean hurting other people. And to condone such things is criminal.

(if you're not political don't read this section) So when i register for the next election. I will vote for someone who lowers taxes and brutalizes criminals, i don't want them released on good behaviour shit, fuck if you're poor you don't have to rob that bank, like most poor people don't, you go out and fucking work. But the left want to give the poor money without them doing anything, they want to decriminalize drugs, and they want to broaden government control. Which costs the tax payers. Being rational and effiecient, is all about economies of scale, and a business that has a budget will perform more efficiently than a bussiness with carte blanche on the cheque book. It's about the rational versus the 'wishy washy' feelings that every person on this earth is good and every person deserves something form this world. No, i say, this world is fucken tough , and you have to try to make it through without piggy banking on the average worker's taxes so you can be paid welfare and then the pension until you die.

I saw cinderella man the other day, and fuck i love russel crowe and that movie (almost enough to have me barracking for souths! ) no i would never follow souths, the idiots. But cinderella man, is just a great testimant to what i was talking about. Life owes you a living, but you have to work hard to get it. And i think it's true, whether it's you, or your parents or grandparents, which explains the hiltons, and being an heiress and all that jazz. Well you have to be do something to be well off, and you have to contribute to society.
But the left think you should be able to live some paradise life without you ever lifting a finger, and then, wow , then , once you've landed a job , fuck you better have to keep that job for the rest of your life or there will be hell to pay... that's what the unions think, fuck that shit, a business is going well if it can employ someone, that's hard enough. But then if they have to obey union rules, you might as well take your business to china, because its to hard to compete in australia. It's to hard to give a worker triple time just because its sunday, and so the business loses money becuase they cant produce, and the union stays strong despite the fact that there are no jobs left for the union to defend because they have all gone over seas because the union demands were to high to allow anyone to be competitive. Even the word "union" is an anachronism for today's global market place.

The government, which with todays media is so accountable for every action, the government is also accountable for OHS. And that is all a worker needs, because as soon as other workers, (who are as dopey aqs the rest of them) get together and make demands which they have no idea on what bearing it has to international commerce, but they get together under a union and make demands-- on what they think life should be--- not what life actually is (which is harsh ) and then those demands are just too hard to keep up with for the small business, so they either cease employment or don't make any new employments, which means less jobs. And because the union thought they knew how life and their workplace should be, without looking at international competitors who will do the same work for a lot less, so they end up defending a job that exist because it has already gone overseas.

Now back in the day the union was necessary. The unions were actually started in the mines, it has a long history steeming back to the mines. But these days, when you have an accountable government that control OHS (occupational health and safety)which keeps the mines completely safe, and the miners being paid the equivalent of a GP(doctor). So then, what is the use of a union?? Well, the only use of a union then is to create such workplace demands that it weakens the business's ability to compete, so then they are forced to move overseas. It's not the 50's, which was only good relative to the bad of ww2, but no, it's a tough world which requires a malleable workforce, and such malleability can't be gained from restrictions that a union creates to see that their employees live some dream life from a fairy world where their feet never have to touch the ground.

I have a lot of holes to dig tomorrow, and if anyone wants to talk unions with me, i used to work for a union. They are innefficient, just like government employees are inneffficient, and that's why the right wing people want privatization; so business has accountability and becomes efficient, not just provide some douchebag a job which contributes nothing to society.

So in conclusion, if you vote for the greens (who want to legalize drugs) or the labor party, you are an absolute idiot with no idea of the real world, you think you know what 'should' be right, but you have no idea what is rational. But, on another note, if some of my friends (i'm sure most of them) do fall under such an umbrella , i take pity on you , but i will hold nothing against you personally, Claire, Dave and Simmo, but lets not name names, actually i'll take Dave off the list, because i think Dave is a top bloke and i would go to the end of the earth for Dave. Also Liz and Fel, and maybe Kimbo and some other newy high people, "handley bla bla bla are left wingers including glynn,,, anyway i know my grammar friends are rational , such as lachy, who i would also go to the end of the earth for, because he is a top fucking bloke. This concludes my diatribe. Jroc you missed out on the left wing list because your american, and i dont want to bundle you into this, plus you're also a person i would go to the end of the earth for. Jim, Steve, Morris, Jroc, Handley , Brett, Dave, Lachy, are the people who immediately come to mind who i would go the end of the earth for, Simmo is after that and all the others, Girls are a different story, these are just the blokes, i don't even want to start thinking about putting the girls in order, because us men are stoopid and black and white and appreciate lists, but women have that grey area which i'm not even going to try to work out.

Quotes: Family Guy

Lois: Okay here we go, "What color is a firetruck?"
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm..okay..uhh..all right..firetruck..firetruck firetruck firetruck firetruck. What color are those red firetrucks? Uhh..Oh god I can picture them now...all red and everything.
***
Lois: Are you gonna miss me?
Peter: Only until I go to the newsstand and buy a Hustler.
***
Peter: Lois, everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery.
***
Meg: I can't believe my stupid parents are going to follow around stupid old KISS, it's painful.
Peter: Not half as painful as a tire iron upside your head.
Meg: What?
Peter: I'll miss you!
***
Trisha Takinawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
Mayor Adam West: Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup... no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold onto that one.
***
Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already. (Wow, people who help themselves get ahead in life, hmmm, i think that's what capitalism is all about, you try your hardest to succeed within the freedoms of being able to do what you want to do, it seems pretty good to me, without other people increasing your taxes so that you have to be a burden on the dumbasses who don't contribute to society)
***
Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
***********
Okay this is it, i think? My favourite quote of all time, this is the one all three of my readers have been waiting for... drumroll, dum de dum de dumm..................................... this is my favourite quote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here it goes.......<
***
Homer: So, Mr. Burns is gonna make us all go on a stupid corporate retreat up in the mountains to learn about teamwork. Which means we'll have to cancel our plans to hang around here
Bart: Teamwork is overrated.
Homer: Huh?
Bart:Think about it. I mean, what team was Babe Ruth on? Who knows.
Lisa & Marge Simpson: Yankees.
Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap i've been hearing about tolerance.
Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

It's coming right for us.

2007-03-06T22:27:00.000-08:00

Today i went to the cessnock rifle club, to complete my 'firearms safety and awareness course.' I rolled up at 11am expecting to be there at least an hour-- ten minutes later, i had left after signing my name a couple of times. And filling in a simple 15 question multiple choice exam, which old toothless joe administered. And even if the simple questions would have proved trouble for me, old toothless joe made sure the answer key was in front of me. He was going through the questions with me, and on one of them it asked, if you suspect your neibour has an unlicensed weapon do you, a..b..c..d-call the police. Immediately i said D, and he said 'correct, but in real life i wouldn't do that, the guy would probably shoot you. '

Anyway i can now shoot anywhere in the great state of new south wales, and now i can buy a double barrel shotgun to go clay shooting, and a rifle. I would like to get a 303 so i can go blow fuck out of wilderbeast or something, but i'll have to settle with a .22 rifle and shotty. I was thinking about sawing the barrel off, but after the rigorous awareness course, i think it might be a neddy no no-
My next step is to get my paintball gun license so i can get some paintball guns to play with in my forest. Which i specifically planted 3 years to act as one acre of pure paintball arena fun. And in about six months, my ridiculously circuitous plan will finally come to fruition. mmwaaa hahahah..... All i need now is some night vision goggles; if only i was back in america, i saw a great set in vegas for two hundred bucks.

I also had to join a gun club, and roll up to four events per year, and amongst the paperwork they gave me, was a how to vote card. Which has some extreme achrimony against the greens. I have to vote for the shooting party now, i was thinking about finally registering anyway so i could vote in this next election. Little johnny needs all the help he can get.

And after many fruitless tries, i cant get my motorbike going, so i'll have to find a new one, which will cut into my tattoo fund. Wow i'm becoming a real cessnockian,lol , Actually i really liked cessnock today, it had some greats pubs; they were open at 10 am so i could go in a sink a few bourbons before my gun course.

Simpsons Quotes:

Homer: I'd like to buy your deadliest gun, please.
Gun Shop Owner: Aisle six, next to the sympathy cards.
***
Gun Shop Owner: Well, you'll probably want the accessory kit. Holster…
Homer: Oh, yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: Bandoleer.
Homer: Baby.
Gun Shop Owner: Silencer.
Homer: Mmm-hmm.
Gun Shop Owner: Loudener.
Homer: (drooling noise)
Gun Shop Owner: Speed-cocker.
Homer: Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Gun Shop Owner: And this is for shooting down police helicopters.
Homer: Oh, I don't need anything like that…yet. Just give me my gun.

the punk rock show

2007-02-28T05:30:00.000-08:00

ok, so who the hell made this the first of march??? c'mon, fess up!! i haven't blogged for awhile and i thought seeing as its mid february id make a post, but no, the dang computer is telling me its the 1sr of march. So somehow i have lost about 15 days into the ether, as i wake and eat and do my thing only to rest again at night, as we all do. But geeze louis, ihave never felt time go so fast. As a philosopher i have learnt that it is all sibjective, and time as a matter of fact is all a construct of the human mind. And thus as that mind ages, so do the relative bounds that we once placed upon it-- you remember six weeks of holiday lasting an eternity when you where a child? now in six weeks you can barely wake up, scratch your ass, say hello to the neighbours, have about one illegal game of poker with the mates, read two or three chapters of a book, and spend ten minutes realizing how fast its all moving.

Anyway the punk rock show... last week o went into sydney with Handley to see Nofx at Luna park. And i must say, luna park freaking rules, it should be set up permantley, (for my yank friends, luna park used to be open every day, until people built houses around it, then the peopel in those houses complained so they had to shut down, and what a lot of bullshit.) Luna park is situated right under the sydney harbour bridge. So me and handley rocked up, and joined in a guy pissing on one of the supoort beams! It's quite an accomplishmenty saying you have taken a leek on the harbour bridge at night whille looking at the illuminated opera house on the far side of the shore, while some punk rocker in a black shouts profanities, and you think about the hundreds of people who died making the bridge, and think .. fuck .. what's this all about...

anyway nofx went off , and cheney was in sydney at the same time, and cheney is nofx's arch nemesis because they think he is the controller of Bush. Anyway, i love both nofx and Cheney, so i see no beef there. And yes jroc i understand both sides of the equation.

After nofx i spent 12 hours drilling through a conrete pipe, because my old man is putting in two wells. It was some hard damn work, but on the upside the dude who was working the excavator and digging the wells, (and lives down the road) had a saint bernarn that he had flown up from adelaide. It is only six months old and already nearly three times the size of my labrodor. And he rented an appartment or somethign and couldnt keep it, so it was tieds up to his truck all day, so i took it. It would be worht several huyndred dollars. But he's a cute guy and giant, and it takes three square meals a day to feed him, like tony said when i showed him. 'do you have some spare meat you want to get rid of?'
it's true the guy is giant ill see if i can post a pic. Anyway peace everyone, and try to hold onto those moments that keep slipping away for me.

p.s
i called the new dog: Rath Luban
mom wants to call him: Ruben
and some others say: Rasputen

so let me know what you think.

wtf

2007-02-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

The computer has been in the shop for the past week, god damn windows and bill gates; just like Lisa said, 'damn woffle iron has been in the shop forever,' then she went on to create life with her lost tooth and some electricty provided by an electric shock by Bart who in turn later becomes the arch nemesis of the tiny civilization. This mini episode in one of the the simpsons halloween epsidsodes that raises many issues which sci fi normaly raises.

And i am pleased to announce that Matt Groening and others have been working on 16 fresh episodes of Futurama for the 2008 season. He is noted to comment that in the final episodes of the season that was axed, they began breaching some true philosophical and sci fi questions, particularly the award winning episode that saw Bender being shot off into space and being hit by a meteor and a tiny civilization forming on his own person. And my favourite all time episode , of anything not only Futurama, its the episode called 'jurrasic bark' which sees Fry trying to bring back to life his old dog. --i bought the dvd but i only bring it out once or twice a year, and after many wines/!!!!lol..And there is another one where he hates his brother, but it turns out his brother loved him and named his son after him. I just hope they keep up the good work like that in the new 16 episodes in production as you read this!

and i would also like to claim that i am the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby; yep you can check my plane tickets and stuff and it all works out perfectly, cough-- 1 billion dollars-- all those other blokes who think they are the father are fools, they are being fatuous. And just look at them, there is that one formula one guy who sounds like a robot!! seriously his voice sounds like it is coming from a synthesizer like stephen hawking. It's freaking bizzarre and i don't want my daughter brought up in such a synthetic environment, especially not when she can live with me and see all the faults of a true biological being-- the alcoholism and so forth... lol.

-i also saw a shark fin, while i was fishing the heads out near broughton island the other day. It's the first time i've ever seen a shark fin. I didn't see daggermouth, or hennessy. I didn't even catch one fish.

Quotes:
Family guy

Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?
Peter: Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes.

Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

Waiter:Sea water, courtesy of that gentleman over there.
Hennessey: You need $50,000, Griffin? I got a suggestion for you.
Why don't you kill Daggermouth?
Peter: Maybe I will, Hennessey.

Hennessey: Nice fish you got there griffin, what are selling? your bait?

King of the hill

HANK: Bill, it was a different time. It was back when we didn't know the Russians were incompetent.

HANK: I've been driving bobtail trucks at Strickland for two decades.
DALE: Ooh, I am so impressed! Have you also downloaded the classified instruction manual for this tank from Vladimir Putin's website, took a correspondence course in Russian, translated the manual, memorized it and eaten it? Have you, Hank?... Putin?

CAPTAIN: On the plus side, your breath is unusually minty and inoffensive.
BILL: Sir, I'm brushing every day now, sir.

DALE: I'll tell you what's going on with our beer. They've sold it to the Japanese, who will change the formula and repackage it in square bottles that will only fit cupholders in Japanese cars.

petoria

2007-02-07T02:46:00.000-08:00

gi saw a family guy tonight, where peter griffin could only play the piano when he was drunk, and he could also vomit-fall down-and hit on lois's sister- but apart from that he could play some serious piano. Now this reminded me of myself who, me, can only blog when i've had a few partucket patriots, (which is family guy code for cheap red wine) but joe next door like coors, and you can hear him saying 'go the silver bullet' as he is pushed out of the partucket brewery, and seeing as ive been to america i actually get that joke, because the silver bullet is what they call a can of coors light, americans for some reason seem to love drinking from their cans. On an unrelated note, i wish i could walk around with a gloc 9mm, but no, i cant even have a god damn paintball gun without a license.

Only in America. And hooters, see i knew hooters tried to open up shop in australia back in the late 90's, but failed (perhaps because we don't tip! so it doesn't matter if your a hot chick in a tank top or a fat chick in overalls you''ll still make the same cash (am i right boys? yeah you know im right.) but anyway apparently they have opened a new one in paramatta recently. But i don't give it long, because without tips, seriously there is no point in having hot chicks at a restaurant. Like i went to a couple of hooters in america, so i know what im talking about, they come and rub your arm and flirt and stuff and you give 'em five or ten bucks, but that wouldn't happen in australia because we don't tip. Now i'm not saying tipping is good, im just saying that the concept probably wouldn;t work in australia because we don;t have tipping.

I heard that tipping for the yanks, came about during the depression when noone could afford to pay their staff, but instead of laying them off, they expected those who could afford a meal out to pay a bit extra to cover the waiters/ress payment for the night. Thus tipping was born. So the waiter/ress is payed nothign and relies on those who can afford the meal. And it has carried on through till today. --It works out to about a dollar US per drink, so it gets really fucking annoying, but on the flipside a bottle of jim beam is 12bucks, thaty about 18aussie dollars!! that's right you can buy a big bottle of beam for 18 aussie dollars because they don't have tax on it. And man that was my downfall when i first got there.

On another unrelated note, i've just watched the second episode of heroes, (it was on way back when i was in the USA but i had frat parties to contend with, rather than sitting watching the tube) but now im back ive started watching this show, and man its fucking awesome pop entertainment, it's a case study in suspense, lol. I love it. Its the first series that im going to follow since the OC (which i stopped watching after season 2) and before that was dawson's creek, --i missed the whole prison break thing--- so all in all ive only followed three shows, the rest of the tv i watch is -family guy-simpsons-futurama-kingofthehill- and occasionally bold and beautiful (it depresses me, but its always on tv when mum and dad watch it so sometimes i tune in) - so i have big expectations for heroes, and so far it hasn't let me down, like life has , lol. I mean who else thought that they would be living in a highrise apartment in manhatten and drinking martini's at night with models and working a high powered stock broking job by day by the time they were 24. I know i did, and now i get excited if i get to leave the house to go to the post office-- ahh life's miserable dissapoinments.

p.s --colts blow.
pps- also whoever is still reading this let me know, because im just about ready to stop. I know lachy is reading it, thats about it. But who cares, ill still write it for lachy, you know it lachy!!

Quotes from family guy

Brian: I just spent all morning watching a VH1 special on Gwen Stefani. I don't know what a Hollaback girl is. All I know is that I want her dead.
***
Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
***
Chris: What's a library, dad?
Peter: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.
***
Peter: I think the lesson here is, it really doesn't matter where you're from, as long as we're all the same religion.
***
Peter: Oh man, Lois is really pissed at me.
Brian: Yeah, who knew welfare fraud was one of her buttons? --- (i love this one, who knows what random crap women will get upset at, guys, am i right? yeah you know i'm right)

I feel that sometimes, things in the past hurt so much, that it affects how you feel now. And i'm talking about everything, from a simple kiss to ten years of friendship that now seems useless. I am talking about the true essence of life______ and it hurts and it is glorious at the same time. I ask you now. Have you ever had such a moment that you feel like 'this is life! this is pretty much it, there might be some other high points in the future, but if the bus hits me now i have reached that ultimate level of sensation? Or are you still languishing in the doldrums, and too afraid to do something. But who is to say that anything is courageuous or not? What person tells you that you're such a hero? Aren't we all in this weird cosmic boat together, with no directions, and only a paddle with which we don't really know how to use?' But i ask you to just think of a time of pure beauty, someplace in your life that felt right and pure and good, and then ask yourself, is that life? ---------------or is life when you walked outside and killed that snail. Who is to say? In this sweet madness, at least people with our priviledge have the luxury of thinking of such things, so, so many billions of people in the world do not have the opportunity to think of anything but obtaining water and food. And here we are contemplating the meaning of life, we must think ourselves lucky because there are so many people thinking of obtaining bread whether it be stale or not, and here we are trying to decide how best to live our lives. But alas with such tradgedy i will move forward, and so must we, because unless we have great monies or effect legislature, we might aswell think of oursleves, because life is brutal and no one else will. So then...

Things seem so very simple in a single moment, but when looked back upon, they are the most incredible and intricate of times, never to be reclaimed and forever to langour without hope in such a situation as we can never relive. -----And yet our lives moves ever forward, while that which is beautiful dissapears further away, until it is nothing but a point in the distance and we finally remark on how beautiful it adds to the sky's glamour for the night. And then we sleep, we curl up in bed and feel our body shiver against the felt, and warm the felt, and then our body is warm. But our soul longs for more, it feels happy on those special moments, that come so rarely-

-but they do come and it is then that all the hardship makes sense. All that shit that we carry every day, everything we burden oursleves with and hope to one day achieve PERFECTION, we want to be the most incredible person that we can be,( but what if that person isn't so good anyway.) And we all move forward --no matter if we animal or human--into such a great unknowing and unjudging abyss that we can only hope to achieve one moment, one sheer moment of glory and happiness that makes all the anxiety dissapear, and it makes all the pain drop off the edge of the cliff, and it makes all our emotions which are so vastly turbulent, seem happy for a blink of the eye. (And we might write a few lines to try and clarifly with the other blog readers,) but in the other blink we dispare, and then die. Never to be heard from again, and all our shitty problems that we think are so important die with us. In three generations we are gone; never to be thought of again.

god damn colts

2007-02-05T02:43:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RUSMuQFaFA ok a part from my last post where i put up morris stacking it on his skateboard, this is one of the funniest youtube things i have ever seen. Courtesy of matt who lives in DC. This is typical america, a regular council meeting, liek you have in newcastle or maitland, yet this guy has some serious issues, which need to be dealt with in front of theboyuscouts!! there is a rogue helicopter pilot!!!! and even john edwards and the FBI know about, it might even be funnier than morris stacking it so check it out. Typical ''over the top american arrogance'' for you nay sayers. but this guy has a serious rogue helicopter pilot problem, lol.

anyway, so the damn colts won the superbowl. Pretty much two weeks ago when the colts faced the Patriots in the AFC divisionsal playoffs and won in the last mintue, god damn them, that was THE superbowl, anyone who knows anything about football knew that this year whoever won the AFC divisional championship would go on to win the superbowl, which for those uneducated is just like when we had the ARL and the superleague and the winner out of each was going to play in a big superbowl. But alas we haven't the population for such grand concepts, so the mariners where left to wollow in their own crapulence. Anyway stupid simmo and his stupid colts t shirt turned up and won the superbowl. Damn chicago bears.

But at least i got to watch it on my brand new 62 inch screen, i think that is about 158cm's or there abouts, and the dude did a terrible job of destroying the old one, so that is in the back room after dad reassembled the power cable. The dude just hit a few things with a hammer. FOr htose of you who dont know what im talking about, LG were good enough to give us a new tv even though it was nearly three years out of warranty. And they gave us a slightly bigger one, by two inches!!

Cabernet merlot, has been my wine selection of the weekend. A fine cleanskin; bottled specifically for dan murphey, it is cheap and effective! So on the weekend i went to a 'anything goes but clothes' party' , which isnt what you think, its anything but not proper clothes, so i went in a garbage bag. I was obviously wearing clothes underneath, as the garbage bag barely covered my torso, but at least i made an effort. There were some wacky costumes. !!wow, there some real wacky costumes, and i bet you want to hear about them too...... And viv had her housewarming at annadale, what a nice place, and it was a pool party, but lucky i didnt take my boardies because the pool was three inches deep!!! lol, viv tricked us all with her 'pool party'.

anyway next season will see the patriots destroy all the competition and see peyton manning (QB of the colts) lying in a ditch begging for food. And ill be laughing, laughing all the way to the bank when i reclaim the 200bucks i lost this year on the pats and make it up with 10 grand that i will take straight to vegas (re hook up with my southern belle, whom no hunter girl can compare) and enter the world championship of poker, and compete against joe heschem, ill kick his ass, and anyone else who wants to stand in my way of ultimate glory!! that's right, ULTIMATE GLORY.

Quotes Family Guy
Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons: Ghostbusters, Tom?
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
***
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
***
Peter: Aww things were going so good for me and Stewie, but now he hates me again. Brian what should I do to win him back?
Brian: That depends. Do you want my advice or are you just asking random questions again?Peter: What's a hypotenuse?

for those about to rock

2007-01-27T04:20:00.000-08:00

this is for those handfull of people still checking my blog, i drank yesterday on australia day, and was wearing thongs at the brewery and had to get katrina to sneak lachlans shoes downstairs to me waiting in the pokie room, so i could go up, it lasted about 20 minutes before the bouncers found me, anyway i wasn't going to drink today but my olds just bought home 32 bottles of wine. which is 3 cases, th deal was you buy 2 cases and get a third free. God doesnt want me to stop. lol. like when the poats were playing and i told my old man to bring me a tiny jim beam bottle home, because i know i cant stop spirits when i start, and he brings home two big cougars, because it was buy one get one free. and i drank 'em both!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLLuQkovnRk check this link out, its morris skating on the homemade skate ramp we build at my place. I couldn't stop laughing!!!! now its there for the whole world to see it!

it always happens with my tattoos, people say what does it mean? thats what i get 100% of the time when i show someone my tattoos, and the deal is, i have no fucking idea what that bit of scribble on my arm means, just as i dont know why people are dying from hunger, and i dont know what the fuck i am doing in my life-and i dont mean just getting a job and knowing what im doing as a career, i mean as a person-who do i want to be as a person and what do i want to believe in.
And when i see a girl wear a pair of earrings i dont ask what is the significance of the
pattern of the star shape in the metal that she has adorned on her lobe. No and you know why?because it seems like a temporary display, yet tattoos seem permanent--as permanent as we can get in our fleeting lives that come to an end in the blink of an eye, to quote meet joe black where anthony hopkins at his b-day speech says '65years, don't they go by in a flash,' So we like to hold onto things, and people say well how about when your 60 and you wont want the tattoos, i have two responses to that. the first is
that i love it now, and if im worrying about what im going to look like when im 65 then its safe to say im not at all living in the moment, and secondly im going to have about a million other health related issues by that age which will keep me preoccupied. I think peeing 8 times a night and shitting in a bag will be more important than worrying about a tattoo-which i had 40 good years with,

i have not once-ever regretted getting inked i love everytime i look at it. But onto the grander point about the human condition as realizing that we are fallible but
still thinking in schemas mentally that try to put a permanance on the present moment. I think once you realize that the bus can hit you tomorrow, not just know it consciously but truly realize that you can die at any moment, then you can fully embrace it. And this isn't just some pop psychology bullshit(carpe diem and seize the day and all that shit), this is about not ever fucking appreciating what you have right this very second and always looking to tomorrow. Why not look at what you have today and feel at peace, then plan for tomorrow. Because i agree you do need some planning otherwise you'll end up like chris farley who drank and boozed and partied and died at 33, but even
then he had one motherfucking time while he was alive! amen. Personally i dont like a whole heap of tats, i think it looks like someone has spilt ink on someones arm, i like a few without being crowded. Its all personal, and to me it reiterates the temporary nature of life.

anyway, i found the rocky quote that i loved. I found out too we havent got it in australia yet, i watched it about 2 months ago in the grand old USA!! and it comes out next month here, but this quote was my fav part of the movie, where sly is talking
to his son who is ashamed of him for trying to keep going, fucking brilliant. I love how he brings hobbes into it,--the world--- its a very mean and nasty place, and when sly delivers it, what a great movie.
The world is one hard motherfucker of a place, and we are all tryign to find our place, and some of us die and some try to succeed but we're all just fucking restricted to getting food, water and air. You get knocked down, and you have to keep moving forward, just like rocky says. And his son was blaming him, but rocky is like, dont blame me, i know your strong stand up and be it, or you might aswell die.

Quote from rocky

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth.
But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!" - Rocky Balboa

dammit

2007-01-25T04:31:00.000-08:00

i still can't take it, i had a huuuge american day, and the pats lost. I made the best damn nachos australia has ever seen. I made them buffolo wild wings style, and i had a whole heap of budweiser. So it was just like being in america, when i used to ride my bike from my dorm down to the sports bar on a sunday to watch fooootball! eat some nachos and drink some beer. But this defeat has weakened my spirit, i don't know if i can go on, especially to watch the superbowl, its all too much. I still think ill boycot the superbowl, even though we will have our new bigger TV by then!!!

but i will be watching WWE royal rumble over the weekend, its set to be huuuge, john ceno is set to defend his title, but during the week on raw, he got hammered against a table and ruptured a spleen while battling a huge samoan guy. This was one of the 'real' injuries in wrestling, ceno tried to get up and stumbled around and vomitted, then some docs came in, and i have watched enough wrestling to know when its real. And for one they didnt declare a winner of the match, which they dont if someone seriously gets hurt, like when stone cold steve austin broke his neck.

and onto tattoos. I like my one on my left arm, but it isn't substantial enough, im looking to get a big celtic circle pattern on my right arm, or some sort of ornate cross, im not religious but i think a big cross would look pretty nifty. -and put me in good stead with the lord ;) like the dad from shallow hal who says - 'son find a classic beauty, with a nice can and good totties, and that will put you in good stead with the lord.' !!! awesome!

p.s fuck the colts! they can go and get fucked, and fuck a goat. and lose the damn superbowl, go the bears!!!!!

popular demand???

2007-01-22T07:47:00.000-08:00

okay, due to popular demand (3 people) and the fact iv been drinking since 6am when simmo knocked on my window to watch the nfc championship in the nfl, and now its 2am, and simmo like a softcock slept from 3pm till 6pm, sorry simmo but its true, and i was drinking the whole time. Anyway , the new england patriots lost in the last minute to the fucken colts, and simmo was wearing a colts shirt, so fuck him, fuck everyone even the i-ties!!! lol just kidding. But seriously i have never been so distraught over the loss of a football game, i.e i have never cried over sports and not in the last three or so years, but there is a first for everything. And i put my heart and soul into the patriots and they lost in th elast freakin minute, and anyone who knows me, knows that i dont give a fuck about any other sport except the NFL, and this was my day to shine and brady fucked it for us, go damn it.

and also i just learned that ZOO magazine has awarded the sheik an australian of the year award. Ok, the patriots made me cry, but this makes me so fucking upset that i will vow to destroy anyone who still buys ZOO after this, i dont give a fuck that he might support terrorism or say that muslims deserve australia more than convicts, who killed aboriginals but like Mary Bryant many tried their fucking hardest to make a life, after mother england fucked them over, and they made this country, so anyone who wants to diss convicts is a cunt and fuck it makes me madd, but other than that, and i respect aboriginals (who i caught the train at 3am the other night and they showed their true colours, red for blood, but i dont care, it was the worst train ride ever, worse than going through purfleet near taree, not really) anyone can do whatever they want, i dont care, and i haven't any right in their business. I mean if i was paid to go to school, if i had some red black and yellow blood in me, and got into pretty much any uni course ahead of people who actually get some decent grades, i would still drink..... fucken not!!! I'm going to be a teacher now, for anyone who doesnt know, and get some scratch baby.

But when the sheik says that chicks who wear bikinis deserve to be raped i draw the line. Seriously, this country is about freedom and if people are trying to limit that because of religion, no matter what stoooopid religion it is, christian, muslim etc.. that's just fucked. People who take the scripture and twist it to justify their own warped ideas are fucked, no matter if your a sheik or an evangelical. Seriously if you need some sort of comfort to help you through this cold,short and harsh life (hobbes) don't fucken' push it onto people who dont want it. And this might be a fucken lightbulb... but australia doesn't want their chicks to cover up!!! and if you want that, go the fuck somewhere else, because that is the who we are, and that is our country.

It's bad enough that women are oppressed in other places, and people accept it because of 'ingrained culture', (fucken lefties, its just the way things are, and i shouldn't change things and maybe help some people be free of tyrants, i'm too busy calling the yanks tyrants) but if you are trying to implement it here it's stoopid. The race riots were missnamed. If it were true race riots, it would be about kicking out the thousands of asians who help lift up our economy (and congrugate in sydney)or the indians who drive our cabs, thats a stereotype-- but true, It was about their behaviour!!!, about them not wanting to be part of who we are.

And i cant stress enough that we are a multicultural society, but we dont accept behaviour that denegrates women, and certain other values. And there was a certain group, (and dare i say, a whole group of people who came from the same area and looked the same, that participated in gang rapes and general social disturbances) but no i cant say lebo's because that isnt PC, well fuck you, i dont care what you look like, its not race-- its BEHAVIOUR. You can't just terrorize aussies and call them skippies-in a derogitory manor- without offending what it is to be Aussie. Australians aren't racist because we didnt protest any other group, we don;t care about any others, but the lebos, because of the way they acted ----(after ww2 we accepted many germans and after that, the greeks and many eastern europenas, hmm i wonder why, maybe because they assimilated and accepted our values), ----- because non lebo groups weren't walking around openly harrasing women. You have the odd bad seed, but not leaders in communities openly knocking the values which we call Australian, and condoning such viscious attacks against civilians. Now some will take objection to what i say, and if they do that's good because that is what free speech is all about. Its about expressing yourself, without hurting others--end of story.. Do what the fuck you want, but don't hurt anyone else, particularly women or ill be in the carpark!!!!!

Hypocritcal, no, because i am dog the bounty hunter and i am the law, and the law punishes those who hurt women. Well it should unless you're unlucky enough to be in stupid freakin' Vermont. (the judge there gave a disgusting sex pervert only 30days after spending two years sexually abusing a 2 year old till she was four yrs old, and you know why, becaus ethe judge says that the jail didn't have proper rehabilitation. It was fucking serious, and everyone went nuts, and they governor quickly implimented a rehap plan, so then the judge gave him three years. Fucking activist judges, 3years for torturing someones life - which is abominable, but 60days to start off with, seriously what the fuck has happened to justice. 3 years is about 20 too short, that's why we need Jessica's law, ''in the usa'', which is 25 years minimun on any sexual offence on a child. But fucking vermont and other 'democrat' states (the equivilant to the labor party) don't want it. So in a sense they are condoning it. Fucken sicko's, and you wonder why i vote republican and bush??? hmmm, like the superannuation plan which gives people freedom to expect high gains from their own money, and also to punish sicko's and criminals.

okay so ill do some more trave blogs later, i still have some good pics of alcatraz to show. But if you have any opinions on the above let me know.

australiana

2007-01-13T13:51:00.000-08:00

its the heat. I forgot how hot Australia could be. I've spent the last few days reaclimatizing to our awesome, searing heat. And many other things, like pissing in a big trough at the pub next to all the other drunks, who want to say g'day and engage in akward urinal conversation. Then there is the complete and utter unrestrained gambling. At forster pub in a room of about fifty blokes who where there for no other reason than to bet on the horses, and the pokies room, which is a room full of slot machines for my american readers. Every single bar has at least 10 slot machines, and the clubs have a few hundred--and the ability to bet on horses or keno. I once heard a statistic that New South Wales has 10% of the worlds slot machines, and i couldn't believe it to be true. But seeing as other developed countries put some sort of restriction on gambling, i can now see it. In the USA if you want to gamble, unless online, you pretty much have to find an illegal bookie, or go to either Las Vegas or Atlantic City.

And the rotaries, or round-abouts. We are about as unrestrained in the random round about placings as we are with our voracious gambling. In the woolies carpark they had tiny round abouts placed every 20yards or so. These would prove no match for the giant american SUV's, who could drive over them and pretend they weren't even there. I didn't really see any hatchbacks in america, and our toyota landcruiser is considered a midsize suv in america, im talking about the mighty Dodge Rams and the F350's.
--- everythign in Australia looks so brown at the moment, we need some rain bad, even places on the coast look bad. It was funny too, seeing a show on a current afair advocating people to piss outdoors if they live in semi rural areas, to save flushing water. Which reminds me, the toilets have no water in them over here. I don't know about europe, but in the US, the bowl is 3/4 full of water to start off with.

VB the trip home from the airport was tops. As promised Jim had an esky full of VB's and then some cigars once home. I had a great day, and being reunited with my labrodor Portia was pretty cool. I had the john williamson cranking too! 'hey true blue, will you tie it up with wire, just to keep the show on the road.' 'Is it a kangaroo, or just vegemite?'
While i was overseas, it seemed to take a long time, and now im back, my mind has compressed eevrything, so it only seems like i have been away about three days. Ill have to work on getting my green card, so i can go back to the south. And j-roc you'll be proud that my confederate flag is going to take pride of place on the wall in the lounge room, so while im watching the tele i can remember that 'the south will rise again!'

i could keep blogging, but seriously, who wants to hear about my latest trip to the post office?Now im back to regular life- this was re-afirmed, when after spending an incredible adventurous week in San Francisco, i return home, to find my mother completely in raptures while telling me a story of returning a dvd to woolies. It was the 'big' event of the week. Back to the doldrums of reality. Thinking about the fleeting time i spent roaming about the USA, and having wacky adventures, each more wacky than the next. Now it seems like a dream.

i have some more photos to post, so ill do a few more posts in the coming week.

Quotes
'it's got carbo's for energy!' - nutri grain add. Another classic aussie shortening. Carbo's mate. (we really do butcher our language, if a word has 3 or more sylabelles, dont you worry we will make short work of it. just cut it in half and add an 'O' or sometimes an 'A' for example registration becomes 'rego'. or the classic 'ies' such as, woolworths becoming 'woolies' or poker machines becoming the 'pokies')

Go the patriots!

2007-01-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

the new england patriots will demolish the new york jets in their first playoff game tomorrow, its on 1pm , wait im on the west coast now, so it might be 10am i better check into that. Kansas city chiefs are in the playoffs too! Ill be wearing my patriots jersey at the sports bar, and probably get booed seeing as this is 49er country. I was getting excited about placing a bet on the game,completely forgetting that its only legal in vegas and atlantic city, i could go to chinatown and find some underground bookie. The patriots are about 7-1 to win the super bowl according to some dude on the street, who wouldnt tell me his bookies phone number. Its great odds, so if you feel like making a bet go to the tab and put everything you own on
the patriots to win the superbowl.

On thursday my travelling companions being girls went and got manicures and pedicures and stuff, so i made a grand plan of seeing the whole city on the trolley system. I got down to the end of the street, walked into a bar and got on the piss-plan failed. It was the vesuvio bar, the one i mentioned earlier that all the beats like karouac used to frequent. And the bar chick was 38 and stunning, and there were some old irish dudes i was having a yarn to, and one of them was about late 50's and very old and greasy looking, anyway the bar chick walked up and kissed him. And it turns out they are a couple, i was amazed. So after she finished her shift, all us irish folks went to nearby irish bar o'reillys, and the barchick was teaching me all about the hippy heritage and the sexual revolution that occured on haight street up the road, and then she asked if i knew jefferson airplane, and i had heard of them form the forest gump soundtrack and a simpsons reference. she then told i had been talking to the jefferson airplane dude, who was sitting next to me at the vesuvio.

On friday i went to alcatraz, and did the audio tour. I was surprized to learn that it only operated for thirty years between the 1934 and 1963, and that only 1500 prisoners were ever there. With its capacity only being 256 or thereabouts. Al capone and the birdman stroud and a few other famous dudes called it home. After taking the maitland jail tour, and now alcatraz, i would have to say that i would rather be housed in alcatraz. After the tour we watched The Rock. 'im sure you understand the etymology behind the name goodspeed.' -my favorite connery quote. and 'loser whine, and winners go home and fuck the prom
queen.'

-tomorrow i think ill go to hyde street, which is the steep hill that the cable cars go up and down, and that nic cage flew down with his ferrari trying to catch connery in a hummer. 'dude you just fucked up your ferrari.' 'it's not mine.'

i saw Rocky Balboa today. it was terrific. old rocky still felt like he had something in the basement. It was really well made, and its amped me up to start lifting weights again when i get home, seeing as i havent even down my pushup routine for many months, now my arms feel so small. And back in the motel in DC i saw Invincible, with mark walhberg about the bar tender who made it onto the philly eagles team. It was great too, one of the best gridiron movies ive ever seen. Both of these films are about people who are beat down, and keep going. I wish i could remember what rocky said today, to his son, about life hitting you, and its how you keep going and dont blame others.

-ill put up some alcatraz photos and more on the next post.

Quotes: i think i worked out my favourite simpsons episode -the beer baron (it used to be the grease raquet)

Homer: "We're going out, Marge! If we don't come back, avenge our deaths!"
Marge: "All right."
*
and my favourite, i cant remember it properly but its when homer goes to buy the bathtubs to make the moonshine in, and he says
'ill have 48 bathtubs please.'
'sir, we have a special today if you buy 50.'
'i'll have 48!'

melroncisco

2007-01-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

San Francisco is like a giant byron bay with some melbourne elements thrown in. They have a tram sytem but also an alternate vibe going on. The beat museum is just next door to the hostel, and the bar where jack karouac and ginsberg-i think is his name- first read their beat poetry. I love the seagulls, they are huge.
The golden gate bridge is actually pretty unimpressive. There is another one called the bay bridge, which is much larger and more formidable.

This is post number 100, im a blogging centurian! first post for the new year and number one hundred. I wonder if this means that the blogspot queen will send me an email. Thats probably the only reason i would want to live until the ripe old age of 100, just to get a letter from royalty. You have to urinate in a bag and eat only pureed food, and forget who your children are, but the letter from royalty makes it bearable. By the time i am one hundred, it will probably be from one of prince harry's illegitimate children, or the republican movement will have caused us to break away from the monarchy. Long live the queen!

The seagulls are giant, this guy was getting stuck into a crab. They are four times the size of our seagulls, i guess its all the prison time they do in alcatraz. Working out all day.

This is the presidential christmas tree, its about two hundred yards from the white house. See all the model trains underneath. I could be showing a cool photo of the giant marine one picking up the president but i didnt have my camera that day, so all i have is this photo of a tree from the night before.

Im staying at the green tortoise hostel in san francisco. There are strip joints and erotic shops everywhere. This is a mural on one of the walls. Even in a nice bar last night, with a nice band and classy patrons, they had the walls covered with naked pictures of showgirls.

Alcatraz from the ferry.

How cool is this chicken! Id like to have a drink with him one time, it looks like he enjoys a nice red wine.

new years cheer

2006-12-31T20:53:00.000-08:00

san fran is cool, probably even my favourite city, its hard to beat boston but it might come close. I was just tired and exhausted before, it was three am and i had been travelling, and i was really sad to leave the south, so i needed to vent. Same with new york city i really enjoyed it, but staying at a cheap hostel in harlem became a drag, so i got down on nyc. Anyway its still only 9pm new years eve, and i just came down from drinking on the balacony with a great view of the golden gate bridge. This city is incredibly beautiful.
Im to revel in my own crapulence, cheerio.

what time is it

2006-12-31T09:44:00.000-08:00

i have no idea what time it is in australia anymore, im in a new timezone now. I just had a quick walk around san fran. Its a very photogenic city. The hostel is near the asiatown area. What is with the chineese and hygene? they must think high jean is a tall girl. Half the place smells like a rotting corpse and the other half smells like rotting cabbage, the place is a mess. Just like the chinatown in new york and all the other asiatowns ive been to in my life. I would hate to actually visit china if their insidious city sproutings in the west are anything to go by.

My last post i was coming down from a long drinking seesion on the planes from DC. I got to the airport at noon, and drank until my plane left at three on route to Atlanta. The dude sitting nex t to me had a philosophy book, and i asked him if he was a phil major. It turns out he is a philosophy professor at a las vegas college. So we had a pretty deep talk for the next two hours. Just like many americans he kept coming back to the designer as the first cause.

Then in Atlanta at 5 pm the plane to san fran was delayed until 10.30pm. so i went to the bar to pass the time. I ended up meeting a whole bunch of people on the flight and the revalries continued once on board. The couple sitting next to me where harley enthusiasts, and were telling me about all the good bike trips i could do around the USA. I want to do the easy rider trip. Getting a harley at san fran, and goign through texas on route to new orleans just in time for mardi gras!

The point is i think i am too partied out, to party tonight on new years eve. I'm like that partying slug from futurama, i think his name is slurms mckenzie, and he just wants to sleep, but he has to party one more time to save fry and the bunch. Just one more party man.

Congratulations to Stam and Richard. A birdie on the 18th hole, and a wife, what more could you want!
-happy new years everyone, im pretty certain it must be january 1st in Australia , going by my sisters last comment. I can't believe i missed fosters fireworks!!!!!

another sus fucking city

2006-12-31T02:59:00.000-08:00

dude why did i come to san fransisco, i could have stayed in the great south. Even visited gloria up in jersey, but no i end up in another fucking cespool of shit.
What a bunch of drug fucked hippies everywhere in this the god damn place, probably more weirdos that new york city. And I hate them both nyc and san fran, they can go and get stuffed for all i care. Not to mention the fucking french and italian travelors at this hostel. Fucking I-ties , they can go and get fucked, and the french, and the fucking english, fuck all of europe. Actually i think im venting because i am now out of the south, and it feels bad. I want to be back in the confederate states, where everyone is polite and the women dont have tattoos or swear.
I think ill try and leave early, i must just be a small country town guy, but i can't handle these left wing cities full of weirdos- god damn hippies.

Anyway i had a great time in DC and northern virginia for the last few days , now im staying with a bunch of weirdos, im outta here after tommorow night, im going to bring my flight forward. To think i came here, when i could be hanging out with my belle, god dam it. I need to priorotise better. If i cant be back in the south at least i can go back to east maitland, i love east maitland. And i was thinking of saving up to do a europe trip in 2008, but fuck that. i dont want to hang out with dam i-ties, and the fuckwit french. I think ill come back to the south. We all the know the south will rise again.